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My stomach flips. I can’t tell if that’s a good or a bad thing. A few months ago, I never thought that I’d want to be anything to Theo. And now…I don’t want to be his friend. I want to be his everything.

I want to curl into his warm body every night. I want to kiss him. I want to fight with him over the dumbest shit only for the fights to end with him pushing me against the wall and fucking me senseless. Making it so the only thing I can think of is Theo and his cock.

More than anything, I want to take the risk and fall into the spiral of Theo. Get lost in the labyrinth with no chance of finding an exit.

Swallowing, I force the words from my lips. “What are we then?”

His free hand comes up, thumb stroking my jaw. “To be determined.”

My heart drops. That’s not the answer I craved. Fear sinks in, a fear that I’ve been scared to acknowledge for a while now.

What if I was right?

What if Theo doesn’t want me anymore because I’m no longer a conquest? He had me. He fucked me in the locker room after I spent weeks telling him that I wouldn’t. What use does he have for me now? I’m just a notch on his belt. Nothing more.

I press my lips together, so hard that it hurts. “Right,” I say softly, letting the conversation drop before I can say something that makes things worse. Like confessing my feelings and making it so Theo really thinks that I’m an idiot. “I should try and sleep.”

His jaw sets. Theo’s upset about something now, too, but it vanishes just as quickly as it was there. “You should,” he agrees. “I’m going to stay with you until you fall asleep. In case you need something.”

He doesn’t get a verbal response for me. I sink down into the too-soft hotel mattress, burying my head in the over-stuffed pillow. I try to keep my foot resting comfortably as I get settled, turned away from Theo.

I’m overthinking. I’m in my head.

His fingers stroke the hair by my temple as I start to drift off. The simple act makes my heart clench. Makes me crave more.

There has to be more. This can’t be all in my head.

Chapter Forty-Four

AURORA

The bed shifting next to me wakes me up. Blinking through the sleep, my hand reaches out and wraps around Theo’s wrist, stopping him from leaving. He pauses and looks back at me in the darkness. “Get some rest,” he murmurs.

Anxiety fills my chest as I force myself to speak. “I don’t want you to leave.”

His face softens, and Theo shifts back into bed next to me. He settles back against the pillows, not trying to pry his wrist from my grip. “Okay,” he says. “I won’t leave. Get some rest, Aurora.”

“Theo…” I lick my dry lips. “Why are you still here?”

His brows knit together in confusion as he shifts a bit, looking over at me. “Because you just told me not to leave?”

“No, not right now.” I groan in frustration. This isn’t an easy conversation for me to have. I’m not sure why I’m picking tonight to have it. Our conversation earlier, and my subsequent spiraling thoughts, are weighing on my mind. “We fucked. Why are you still…around?”

“Did youwant me to not be?”

“No!” I reply maybe a little too quickly. This is hard. Painfully hard. Feelings are not something I have a whole lot of experience talking about, especially these. The vulnerability makes me uncomfortable. “I just… Why do you still want me even after we fucked?”

He clicks his tongue and sighs. “You’re still on that, aren’t ya?” Reaching out, he twirls a loose strand of my hair around his finger. “I really don’t know how many times I have to tell you that I want you for you to understand that. Originally, yeah, I wanted to fuck you. You’re gorgeous. Then you were impossible and I still wanted you. Now? I want all the pieces in between. I want tobewith you. You’re just being a bit of a brick wall about the whole thing.”

“I am, aren’t I?” I give his hand another tug, pulling him so he lays down beside me. He’s mindful of shifting the bed around my still aching ankle, although that’s the least of my worries right now. “I just…I’m scared,” I admit. It’s not the first time. He knows how much the idea of this terrifies me. “You wouldn’t just hurt me, Theodore, you’d destroy me.”

That’s the truth of the matter. Loving Theo is easier than I want it to be. It boils down to the fact that if he were to hurt me, it wouldn’t justhurtme, it would shatter me. He has the ability to destroy me because he’s the first person who’s ever made me feel seen.

I’ve allowed myself to be open and real with him in ways I’ve never been with other people. I’ve showed him the pieces. He’s seen the good, the bad, and the really, really bad. He’s still insistent that he wants me.

It doesn’t take a genius to know that either this man is extremely persistent or he wants me for more than sex. He wants me for me. And the idea of ever having something like that taken away would destroy me.

His finger untwists from the strand of hair, his hand coming down to cup my jaw. I lean into the touch, his warmth. “I’m sureyou want to hear promises that I’d never hurt you, but I can’t promise that, Aurora. I can promise that I would never intentionally hurt you, and if I break you, I’ll be the one to put you back together.”

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