Page 18 of The Feisty Omega

Other nights, though, Irian had the mattress on the floor of my room. We’d talk until late, laughing and bantering until one of my parents asked us to quieten down. When that happened, I slid off my bed onto the mattress next to him and we continued our conversation in whispers until one or both of us drifted off to sleep.

But inevitably, the holidays had to end.

On Irian’s last night, we sat up against the headboard on my bed, fully clothed, not touching. Not talking.

The silence was heavy. There was too much to say, and no way to say it. I still didn’t understand our connection, but all my instincts demanded I not let him go away, away from where I could protect him. The feeling settled uneasily in my gut and spread into the very marrow of my bones. It was so integral that the sensation felt like a part of me.

“I think we’ll be coming back next year. I heard my parents talking.” Irian's halting voice interrupted the silence. My eyes sneaked a glance at him from under my hair.

“I’m gonna miss having you around,” I admitted.

Our eyes met. His were a little bit shiny. He was blurry. I blinked a few times, cleared my vision.

“Yeah?” he asked. My eyes flicked to his poor lower lip, all red and sore, before meeting his soft brown eyes. The whites were streaked with red, and he blinked rapidly while he continued macerating his lip.

“Yeah. I will. It’s weird, but I feel like you’re one of my closest friends.”

“Same.”

That poor lip was not going to survive the night if I didn’t do something. I leaned across, placed my thumb on his lip and gently eased it free of those teeth.

“I’m glad you’ll be coming back. But if you don’t, I’ll come and find you.”

His brow creased.

“You’d do that?”

“Yes, of course. I don’t think it was an accident that we met. I… I think we were meant to find each other. If something happens and you don’t come back, I’ll find you.” I hesitated. “I haven’t reached full majority yet, so… it might take a while, but Iwillcome.”

“Oh… okay.” Irian drew in a deep breath then let it go with awhoosh.

“Better?” I asked. As he nodded, the short strands of his blonde hair shimmered gold under the light, striking me a painful blow as I realized it was a sight I wouldn’t see again for many months. Iwasgoing to miss him.

"Let’s plan all the things we’re gonna do next Christmas,” I told him.

The mattress shook as I slid down until I was lying on my back, staring at the ceiling. I almost laughed to myself as Irian followed, his lesser weight barely moving the mattress at all; in some ways we were opposites. We lay side by side, staring up at the slight imperfections in the ceiling, the bumps, a couple of tiny cracks, a small, squashed bug. And we talked. We talked until the pale glow of morning began its slow creep into the room and we finally drifted off to sleep.

???

It was the clatter of people moving around the kitchen that woke me, metal clanging, things thumping, voices. My eyes blinked blearily open, sticky with sleep, and it took my sleep-deprived brain a few moments of lying there with such a feeling of wrongness, before I registered where I was and what was disturbing me.

I’d fallen asleep on my bed, fully dressed.

And I was alone. Irian had gone.

The clattering in the kitchen died down, replaced by the soft murmur of voices, the occasioncrunchof cutlery scraping on plates.

It was still early, the light barely spilling into the room, dull and hazy. I must only have slept a couple of hours. Outside a lone bird called. It cried out again, but there was no answering call. I felt a lonely kinship with that solitary bird. It was a strange sensation for a shifter.

When I strained, I heard past the noises in my own house, directing my shifter hearing out into the compound and the sounds of people moving, the faint clatter of breakfast being made in the various houses, my ears occasionally picking up the shuffling of feet across hardwood floors, as the pack members stirred and began their day.

In my room, there was no gentle, rippling laughter, no soft regular huffs, no little half-snores. It was so still in here, while the world went on oblivious outside. I felt like an observer. Was this what it was going to be like for the next 12 months?

Fuck!I’d grown more used to his company - that cheerful presence at my shoulder - than I’d realized.

A harsh mechanical sound interrupted the gentle cadence of the pack’s morning ritual. Irian had told me they’d be leaving early. I imagined him standing at the side of the car, maybe hoping I’d come to say goodbye. His parents taking leave of Alpha and his family. Mar, fucking Mar, probably doing or saying something inappropriate. I felt a little ashamed. I should be there to stop that. Yet what would I do? They were the guests of Alpha and the Alpha Mate…

I wriggled, restlessly rubbing my back on the mattress, the fabric of the sheets scratching against my shirt. This pack was starting to grate on me. I could feel its structure closing in, suffocating me, though in truth, it wasn’t a terrible pack to live in. Alpha was fair and took good care of the pack, and he wasn’t ultra-traditionalist like some pack leaders. But… I knew I’d never be anything here, I’d just be a follower, abiding by the pack rules. The frustration would kill me. I felt I was meant for more than that.

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