Page 79 of Bad Nanny

Me: No, it wasn’t... I fucked up. It came out in the heat of the moment.

Noah: No kidding. Now the question is, how are you going to fix it? You can’t tell her to stop something she loves.

Me: How would you know she loves it?

Noah: Have you watched any of the videos? It’s pretty clear she loves it. I don’t even know why this is such a big deal for you. Shit, I’d love to have a woman who was comfortable enough with sex to make videos normalizing talking about it.

Me: What about the OnlyFans . . .

Noah: I haven’t subscribed, so I couldn’t tell you what she has on there. Look, I know this is so far out of the scope of your control that it’s probably giving you gray hairs on your nutsack, but you love her.

Lex: For fuck’s sake, it’s like talking to a brick wall.

The clicking of toenails coming down the hall pulled me away from a disastrous conversation that was leading me nowhere. Noah was right—I needed to watch the videos instead of being a judgmental prick.

Honeybun trotted over to me, carrying the puppet in question. She dropped it at my feet, her tail wagging and head cocking to the side.

“This isn’t a toy.” But I’d called it that, hadn’t I? I set the bottle of liquor on the coffee table after one more swig and picked up Sarah Swoon. “You’ve caused a lot of problems, haven’t you?”

I set the puppet down and went back to my phone, pulling up the YouTube channel. It was surprising to see there were over a million subscribers, and her most recent videos had just as many views. Why the hell had she taken a job as a nanny if she was doing so well?

As I watched a few videos and scrolled through thecomments section, I progressively felt more and more like a complete asshole. People loved Josie and the puppet world she’d created.

And I’d wanted her to end that.

Besides love and dating advice, sex was talked about, but it was censored to an extent. I easily found her OnlyFans and shook my head as I paid five dollars to subscribe. She had over a thousand subscribers, which was insane.

The videos available through the basic subscription were like the YouTube videos but answered viewer questions, mostly explicit. It reminded me of a popular late-night radio show people would call in to and ask questions.

For ten more dollars, I could watch a video of Sarah Swoon telling a sex story. There were several different ones available, and I wondered if all the subscribers paid more for it.

This was why Josie had kept all this a secret; it had to be. So far, it wasn’t anything like I’d conjured up in my head after my brothers had talked about it.

I clicked on one about the Fourth of July, approved the charge, and pressed play. Sarah sat in her normal position, but the lights were lowered and soft music played. When she started speaking, her voice was sultry, and okay, I saw the appeal.

When the almost five-minute video ended, I was hard and left wondering if Josie had written that herself. Maybe I’d had one drink too many.

I grabbed Sarah Swoon from the couch and slipped her onto my hand. “What is your appeal, hmm?”

I fucking giggled before talking in an imitation of thepuppet’s voice.“It’s all about who has their hand up my dress, big boy.”

“Oh, yeah? You like that, do you?” I propped my feet on the coffee table, feeling like a fool, but unable to help myself. “How many hands have been up your dress?”

The puppet gasped.“Sir, you are being entirely inappropriate! Where are my pearls? I need to clutch them like my handler’s pussy clenches her boyfriend’s cock.”

“I’m not sure Josie’s going to want to do that with me anymore. I messed up big time. Really, it’s your fault.”

Honeybun jumped onto the couch and sniffed at Sarah. I turned the puppet to face her and acted like it was going to eat her nose. She let out a growl and jumped off the couch.

“My fault? I’m an angel.”I was starting to get the hang of talking and moving my hand correctly so that the puppet’s head didn’t go all the way back like she was cackling. I’d seen Josie showing Delaney how to move only her thumb.“You need to apologize.”

“No shit. People are still fans after this kind of advice?”

“You sure are an impatient man. I wasn’t finished. You need to apologize with a grand gesture. Like in romance books and movies.”

“I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” I feigned innocence and was really starting to feel ridiculous, since I was talking to myself.

“You need to grovel. Kiss her feet. Rock her world. Show her that you love her and her puppets. You sure did love my sexy talk.”The puppet looked down at my crotch.“You should go take care of that.”

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