Page 76 of Bad Nanny

I squeezed her hand before letting go. “I think I’m going to go lie down for a bit. I’m not feeling well.”

Delaney’s face fell, disappointment flickering across her features. She stared up at me with those big blue eyes that were so much like Gabriel’s, it hurt to stare into them.

As if sensing something was wrong, she let go of Gabriel’s hand and wrapped her arms around my waist in a tight hug. “I hope you feel better.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, my love for this kid getting the best of me as a tear slid down my cheek.

I glanced over at Gabriel as I turned to go inside; his jaw was clenched tight, arms crossed over his chest. Our eyes met for a brief second before he looked away. I could tell he wanted to say something, but he held back.

Part of me was relieved, but the other part wished he would get it over with. Waiting was going to be so much worse.

I escaped into my studio with no idea what would happen between us. I wanted to go climb into the barrel of lube and hide forever, but I couldn’t avoid dealing with the consequences of my inaction.

As I kicked off my flip-flops and lay down on my bed, my mind was a mess of questions. How would Gabriel react once the shock wore off? Would he be angry that I’d lied by omission? Would he be hurt that I didn’t trust him enough to tell him sooner?

I was just scared. Scared he wouldn’t approve. Scared he’d make me choose between Sarah Swoon and our relationship. Scared he’d take Delaney away from me.

The thought of losing him and Delaney terrified me more than I ever imagined possible.

I woke up from a nap, feeling worse than when I’d finally fallen asleep. My stomach growled, and I looked at my phone to see that it was nearly eight. I’d missed dinner, but it was probably for the best that I let Gabriel have some cool-off time.

He’d be coming to talk to me soon enough.

Getting to my feet, I grabbed a bowl of ramen, filled it with water, and popped it into the microwave. I’d been eating almost every meal with Gabriel and Delaney, and the sound of the microwave was a stark reminder of what I might lose.

The ice cream in my freezer was tempting, but I’d save that for later; I had a bad feeling that I’d be needing it.

Once the ramen was done, I sat down at the kitchen table with my phone and pulled up the text thread with my sister. I needed to talk to someone about what I should do and say, and the only other people who knew about Sarah were my dad and Nora. It was an easy choice.

Me: Are you still awake?

Nora: It’s barely eleven here. Do you even know me?

Me: Gabriel found out about Sarah.

Nora: Oh, shit. Is everything okay?

Me: Not really... I didn’t tell him. He found out when a barrel of lube showed up with mine and Sarah’s name.

Nora: A barrel? That exists?!

Me: Apparently. Ravishing Whispers failed to mention they would be sending me enough lube to last a lifetime.

Nora: Unless you get more men. Gabriel does have two very attractive single brothers. If you figure you’d need about a tablespoon for every encounter, Google says you’d have enough for about 14,000 times. That’s a lot of orgasms.

I laughed, because how could I not? My sister was a pro at lightening the mood when things got too serious.

Me: Gabe’s really upset. I don’t know what to do.

Nora: Did you apologize for not telling him? Show him some of the videos and the comments you get. You help a lot of people, dude. That hymen video was amazing.

Me: He thinks the whole concept of a puppet talking about sex is perverted.

Nora: I could see how he might go that direction, but he doesn’t know enough about it. Show him, and if he still doesn’t get it, fuck him. I know it’s cliché, but don’t let him dull your shine.

Me: I wish it were that simple, but I’d lose Laney too... and I love them.

Nora: Then, I think you have to decide how far you’re willing to compromise. Are you willing to give it all up?

---