Page 64 of Stuck On Them

Luca looked like he wanted to say something but didn’t. I was grateful because anything he said regarding money would piss Ryker off.

“Aren’t you exhausted? Of always adding more to your plate? To ours?” Garrett didn’t have to look at Ryker for us to know that’s who he was speaking to.

Ryker ran his hands over his hair before covering his face with them. “I’m sorry.”

“He asked if you were exhausted, not to apologize.” Luca surprised me by scooting closer to Ryker and putting his hand on his shoulder. “You never stop, Ry.”

Ryker shrugged off Luca’s hand and stood, avoiding looking at any of us. “I can’t.”

He turned his back on us and walked away, leaving me wondering how I was going to fix this and if I even could.

Chapter20

Monday Morning Blues

Ryker

Monday mornings usually were my favorite time of the week. Nothing felt as good as getting back to the grind and feeling the satisfaction of securing another client.

But as I stood in the empty elevator whizzing me to the seventieth floor, there was a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. It was the same feeling I had so many times before when too much changed all at once.

With change came too much uncertainty. Too many variables. Too many what-ifs.

The future was filled with endless possibilities, but the fear of not knowing what those possibilities might be left me feeling unsteady. Every day held new surprises and decisions that could be life-altering. I had to be prepared for the worst outcome because there was always a chance for the worst.

“Aren’t you exhausted?”Exhausted was too weak of a word for what I felt. It wasn’t a physical exhaustion; on that front, I was fine. It was mental depletion that had my emotions feeling frazzled.

The doors slid open, and I stepped into the dimly lit reception area. More often than not, I was the first one to arrive and the last to leave. Even in college, there was an urgent need to be the best, and to be the best, I had to work the hardest. That was how it had always been and how it would always be.

I walked toward my office, trying to shake off all the feelings from the weekend. Garrett might as well have punched me in the gut on Saturday.“I’m not happy. I haven’t been for a while.”

How had I let it get this bad? Everything we’d built together was uncertain now; our business, our friendship, Paige.

Paige wasn’t going to stick around if I couldn’t get my shit together. She had two other men who wouldn’t put her on an emotional rollercoaster.

I sat down and pulled my laptop out of my bag, my mind racing trying to come up with a plan to fix things. But I didn’t know where to start. For the first time in a long time, I didn’t know how to keep pushing forward.

I took a deep breath and leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes. There was no use stressing out now. I needed to focus on work. That was what I did best, after all. If Garrett wanted to leave, he was going to leave. All I could control was myself and what I did. That just meant to protect what we’d built I needed to work harder than I ever had before to pick up the slack.

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling for a moment, making a list of everything I needed to do. There was a lot I’d put to the side while I was sick, and Sunday had been a clusterfuck, so I’d gotten nothing done.

My phone buzzed, and I pulled it out of my suit jacket’s pocket. I sucked in a sharp breath at Paige’s name in my notifications. She’d messaged me a few times over the weekend, concerned about me. I’d told her I wasn’t feeling well and not to worry.

It didn’t change the fact that I’d ruined their weekend by leaving the yacht. I didn’t deserve to have Paige concerned about me.

Paige:Good morning! I’m stopping for drinks on my way in. Do you want your usual green tea? Did you eat breakfast?

Me:Good morning.I got it. Thanks.

Paige:Okie dokie artichokie! See you soon.

I threw my phone on my desk and pinched the bridge of my nose. She was the only bright spot in my life, and I’d just lied to her. It didn’t matter that it was a stupidly small lie. But it wasn’t just a small lie, was it? Pretending everything was fine was a big lie.

I stood from my desk and walked to the wall of windows, staring out into the gray, overcast sky. My mood was just like the weather. Ignoring things wasn’t an option anymore, not if I wanted something to grow between me and Paige, and especially not if I wanted to mend the rift between me and my best friends.

But I didn’t even know where to start.

I turned back to my desk, needing to distract myself with something else. If I let them, my insecurities and issues would plague me the entire day.

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