Page 46 of Stuck On Them

The last thing I needed to be doing was spending more time with any of them, which was why I ran.

I’d been running away from things a lot lately, which was a newer development in my life. It was easier than dealing with the pain that came with staying and letting events unfold. Of course, I’d never experienced someone cheating on me before.

I dragged my suitcase up three flights of stairs to my floor and stopped to catch my breath. The super had messaged me the night before that the rat problem was actually someone’s pet from the second floor that had escaped.

I wasn’t one-hundred percent convinced that was true, but he’d at least sealed the gap between my sink pipe and the drywall.

Cautiously, I opened my door and jumped back, finding a piece of white paper with a color picture of the rat in question on it.

“How is this my life?” I picked up the paper and rolled my suitcase in, shutting the door behind me.

Sitting down on the couch, I stared at the picture of the rat, feeling overwhelmed with everything that had happened in the past several weeks. My love life was a mess, and I was still trying to process the fact that I wanted all three of the men that had stumbled into it. It was impossible and ridiculous, but my heart didn’t seem to care.

I sighed heavily and pulled out my phone. Maybe distracting myself with some mindless scrolling would help ease my thoughts.

My heart fluttered as a text came through right as I was about to engage in some social media self-soothing.

Unknown number:Good morning, sunshine! This is Luca. Are we still on to hang out tomorrow?

I saved his number to my contacts, giving myself time to think about my response. It was barely seven in the morning. What was he doing texting me so early? Had he woken up thinking about me?

Me:I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Luca:Why? Are you sick?

I could have lied, but that wouldn’t solve my problem. I needed to put an end to this right now. I took a deep breath and typed my response, trying to make it sound as polite as possible.

Me:No, I’m not sick. I just don’t think it’s a good idea for us to hang out. It’s too complicated and not fair to any of you. Trying to be friends after everything would be nearly impossible.

I hit send and turned off my phone, feeling both relieved and guilty at the same time. I couldn’t continue to lead any of them on.

* * *

Finding a job was rough. I spent all day Friday and half the day Saturday submitting resumes. It took time for employers to go through applicants, but I was starting to really worry if I’d made the right decision by jumping on a plane and coming to one of the most expensive cities in the country.

Los Angeles County wasn’t cheap, but my rent to Daniel had been reasonable. I’d underestimated how long my money would last me and thought I’d at least get a few wedding deposits back. Turns out, I was wrong.

Just thinking about all the money I’d put into the wedding made me sick to my stomach. How could I have been so stupid to let Daniel convince me that I needed to put all my extra money toward the wedding?

I was going to have to get a job at a fast-food place while I waited to find a better-paying job. There was no other choice.

You could have accepted the money from Ryker.

That ship had sailed, right along with whatever had been brewing between us. Ryker had sent me a single text Friday morning when he’d woken up. “Take care of yourself.”

That seemed pretty final to me and was exactly what I wanted, right?

Closing my laptop, I lay down on my small couch, my feet hanging over the arm.

I should have just gone to my parents’ house. They would have accepted me home with loving arms and let me get my life in order. People my age moved home all the time during transitional periods, but usually their house had the space.

My family had never had much money growing up, but I’d been raised by two loving parents who were just trying to make it day by day. They lived in a very modest two-bedroom, one-bathroom house—the same one I’d grown up in—and never had the luxuries of new cars or vacations.

There had been a few times when I’d heard them discussing foreclosure, but that never came to pass. They’d put so much money and energy into making the little bungalow a home when they weren’t working.

I’d hoped that one day, I’d be able to make their financial situation better, but there I was fucking up my own.

Daniel had painted such a rosy picture of our married future together that I didn’t even think twice about what would happen if the rug was yanked out from under me.

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