1
Callie
“Let me guess.” My best friend Monica bounds up the stairs behind me. “A weekend in a humongously expensive spa?”
“Nope.”
“Bunny ears and bride squad T-shirts in Las Vegas?
Getting wasted in New Orleans?
A sailing trip around the Caribbean islands?”
“Nope, nope and nope.” I throw open my bedroom door.
I hear Monica’s intake of breath, then she pushes past me and stares at my bed. It’s piled high with all kinds of stuff. I have no idea what most of it is.
“Whoa! Are my eyes deceiving me, or is thishiking gear?” When she spins to face me, her face is such a picture of confusion, I burst out laughing.
“I wish they were, trust me. But no, my older sister has decided to spend her bachelorette weekend long-distance hiking.”
“Wow.” Monica picks up a can of bear spray and examines the label. “I wouldn’t have guessed Lindsay was big on thegreat outdoors.”
I smirk at the hitch in her voice. She never says anything bitchy. She doesn’t need to. She can put a ton of snark into the arch of an eyebrow. “That’s the kicker. She’s even more un-outdoorsy than me. But this is how she wanted to spend her bachelorette. Going on a three-day trip into the wilderness with her three closest friends. And me.”
“Who else is coming?”
“Ashley, Brittany, and…” I stare into space. My sister’s friends are so alike, I often confuse them. “And Madison—”
“Madison? The one with the fingernails?”
I giggle. “Yup.”
“I wonder how those talons are gonna cope with a bunch of guy ropes.”
“Oh, we’re staying in huts or something. Think tents would be a step too far.”
Monica narrows her eyes. “I think your sister is up to something.”
“I’m not gonna lie, the thought had crossed my mind, too.” Beingup to somethingis my sister’s modus operandi. But it usually involves buying fake followers for her Insta account, or bullying hard-working businesses into giving her free swag in exchange for “exposure”.
“What, though? I looked at the online map already. There’s nothing out there. It’s literally just wilderness, with a few tourist huts scattered here and there.”
“Hmm. And Lindsay has planned the route?”
“Yup.” She might not be outdoorsy, but she’s sure resourceful, my sister. And when she wants something, nothing will stop her from getting it. Like her fiancé, for example. He had a scholarship to a really good school, but suddenly, he decided he wasn’t going to take it, and he wound up going to community college with Lindsay instead. Her dream is to become a full-time influencer. Honestly, there couldn’t be a better job for her.
“Interesting. Very interesting,” Monica mutters thoughtfully.
“This is going to suck big hairy elephant balls.” I stare down at the backpack I just bought with real, undiluted hatred. It’s already full, and there’s still so much that needs to go in it.
“It might, but it’s just three days,” Monica says. “Then you’ll be back, and we’ll go see Dead Fox Parade together.”
I throw her a grateful smile. “That’s literally the one thing that’s keeping me going.” I slump down on my bed. “But three whole days with my sister and her best buds. With no way of escaping…” I trail off. My brain is still not capable of processing just how bad this is gonna be.
“Hey, if they drive you crazy, you can just… take off by yourself.” She wiggles her eyebrows ironically. “Just like in the movies. What could possibly go wrong?”
“Don’t. You think I haven’t already imagined what it would be like to be attacked by a grizzly?” I try to stuff a sweater into my backpack, but it’s no good. With an epic groan, I haul everything out and start to repack. Suddenly I’m close to tears. “I can’t do this…” I blurt out. “Her friends are so mean and bitchy, and they all look down on me because I’m studying childcare, and I’m not thin and pretty and I’ve never had a boyfriend.”