Page 19 of Lifeblood

“Because that’ll stop a war any more than you choosing for me?”

“No,” Tristan replied, “but it’d lessen our infighting.”

I threw up my hands, aggravated once more with talk of my future. “I mean, if we’re all mates, why have me choose at all? I’m sure we can arrange rotating custody and find a way to share my blood equally. I’d like to keep some of it, too, that’s for sure.”

Tristan studied me for a long moment, his forehead crease melting away completely. “You being our mate and you being a lifeblood are two different things.”

“So you all keep saying, and”—I lifted a finger—“I know, I know. Once we’re at the palace, you’ll all tell me more. Still.”

Tristan’s hand had left his leg sometime during the conversation and now rested between us on the back seat. I saw him inch his fingers closer but stop. He must have been feeling the mate bond as intensely as I had since last night. It was the same with each of the demon kings—there but hollow when alone, full and hardly bearable when we were all together.

Tristan continued. “One of those things is necessary for our survival.”

“And the mate bond?” I dared to ask.

He smiled thoughtfully. “A… welcome inconvenience.”

I didn’t find it nearly as amusing. “But an inconvenience nonetheless.”

He shrugged and drew his hand back to his leg. “Only because there’re five of us.”

“This is exactly why I ask: Why choose at all, then?” It seemed a ludicrous path forward, but also the most amicable. The only one that didn’t lead to a war between the Demon Courts. “I don’t really want to be claimed by any one of you, no offense. So asking me to choose won’t get you far. And you all choosing for me will lead to unrest.”

“No offense taken,” Tristan said, and I believed him. “You don’t know us.”

“Not yet,” I found myself saying aloud. It felt wrong, so I quickly added, “I don’t know much about my kind’s history, not in full. But I know my blood can sustain you all. I don’t know for how long, but we’ll have to find a compromise either way or there will be war.”

Tristan considered my words for a moment. “And you? What would a compromise get you in an ideal situation?”

“Do I even get a say at this point?” I understood that being mates allowed me some protections, but what those were and if they came with actual freedom was yet to be seen.

“Of course, Ava,” he said with a genuineness in his brown eyes that honestly took me aback. It did every time one of these demon kings showed kindness, sharp though it might have come from some of them. “You’re our mate. You will always have a choice.”

“And if I weren’t?” All of those women… No matter what he or Lance said, I had a hard time forgetting them and all of their families left behind, torn and heartbroken.

“You know it’d be a different story,” Tristan said. “That doesn’t make the truth easier. But it does mean we’re bound by duty to protect you. So we will, and we’ll work with you on how to distribute your blood amongst us.”

See,thatwas what worried me. And the cold, factual way he said “distribute” that didn’t lessen that worry. It was like I was a factory pushing out immortality, and that was exactly how my kind had died out in the first place.

“If that’s the case,” I started, “then I’d like to live as freely as possible for as long as possible. I know my blood will run dry one day.” Not to mention they’d hinted at sexual connections. “But if I can avoid rotting in a prison, or submitting fully to you all for the sake of that blood and a role I was born into and didn’t choose, then I’d love to live as long as possible.”

I wanted to be more than a source of blood. More than this “duty.” There was no duty. Just a happenstance of my blood keeping them immortal. For some reason, that was important to the world itself. Just not important enough to tell me why yet.

But here I was, being open and honest with Tristan. I hoped he saw that.

Tristan smiled, but already, I could see the crease reforming on his forehead. The spirits were talking. I wondered what they were saying. “I think we can accommodate that. But… be careful, Ava. Of all of them, including me. We’re all sound people. But our monstrous sides call to us even in these lesser forms. We’re bound by our curses and deep vices. Just… be careful. No matter how accommodating we sound.”

A coldness swept through my gut. His words were serious but lighter than the meaning behind them. Maybe Iwasgetting too comfortable. Just last night, Gareth had been screaming in my face and threatening me. Now here I was, having a conversation with Tristan as though we were friends. Same with Lance this morning over breakfast.

“Understood.”

Demon kings weren’t to be trusted.ThatI remembered from my childhood.

That Tristan was reminding me of this now underscored how dangerous all of this still was, mate bond or no. Promises or no.

Lance’s explanations came swimming back to me then. That there were things not safe to speak about while unprotected, lest you gave them power.

Maybe this was one of those things.

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