Andrei placed his hand on my buttock, caressed the skin. “Keep count,” he said, then struck.

I hadn’t been prepared; I cried out. Bà m? nó. It hurt. The boys hadn’t been kidding.

Another strike, on the same cheek. Another until my skin burned and he transferred to the other buttock, then my thighs. The strikes fell swift and merciless as if in time to a pedometer.

I jerked and wriggled, all of my training and muscle control evaporating under the fire of Andrei’s spanking. I forgot embarrassment, forgot resentment because there was nothing but pain.

It wasn’t like in the books, where the spanking aroused the woman and ended in hot sex. No; it was just painful, and bleak.

And then it was over.

I came back to myself, realized Mathen was holding my hand, whispering to me.

“You did so well, my Lady.” He lifted his free hand, tucking hair behind my ear. “It’s over, darling.”

He wasbleeding, and he worried about me and a little spanking; I laughed, the sound odd to my ears.

“Anali.” Mathen settled his hands on my shoulders, began to massage. “My Lord, she. . .”

“Will think twice before compelling and abandoning her guard again,” the High Lord said.

Andrei hauled me up, draping me so I straddled his lap, my chest pressed against his. He was still distant; I sensed it, but he held me tightly, caressing my skin where it burned.

My tears soaked his shoulder, and it took me a while to stop shaking.

“Take her to sleep, Drei,” Constin said, his voice quiet. “It’s over now. You can return to yourself.”

Andrei shuddered.

Chapter

Twenty

Andrei carried me to my bedroom, laying me on the bed. He crouched, not meeting my eyes.

“You were tort?—”

I cut him off. “I don’t want to talk about it. It’s done.”

“I won’t force you to talk about it. But I need to know if you’re injured.”

“Didn’t you just spank me? Asking about injuries now makes no sense.”

Stony silence.

I curled onto my side. “I’m not injured. And if that’s a euphemism for the real question, I wasn’t raped either. No one physically touched me after I was restrained.”

Another long silence. He reached out a hand, then lowered it, fingers curling into a fist.

“All right, Anah. Rest.” Andrei rose and left the room.

I stared at the door he closed with a quiet click, sorting through my emotions. I'd felt this way after a spanking as a child. Loathing my father but wanting his comfort as well. Relieved when he provided it, disappointed when he didn't.

What did the need for Andrei to stay and hold me say about my mind? Maybe part of me saw the reasoning behind the punishment. Justified it because of the lack of cruelty. No one had delighted in my pain, or Mathen’s.

I didn't know if the lack made it right, but. . .this culture’s layers would take time to peel back. Some I might accept, others I never would.

To stay with Andrei, I'd have to take the entire package.