Page 71 of Blood On His Lips

I continued layering my thoughts, allowing some of my feelings to seep though or else he would know I was blocking them, but at the forefront was a desperate desire to end the siege. To give him what he wanted. To be what he wanted because I’d yearned for him so long, even when I had forgotten. Some part of me had remembered. Some part of me, when drowning in a bottle, or screaming into my pillow at night, or immersing myself in battle, had been trying to escape the pain of his absence.

“What do I want from you?”

I held my ground as he approached, the hair on my body vibrating. Even for Renaud, he seemed. . .odd. He looked down at me, the expression on his face thoughtful, almost gentle.

“You can guess some of it.”

Yes, let him tell it, all this was about the need to mate, to bed me. But I wasn’t the silly girl he’d called me, and he certainly wasn’t a silly boy. His motives ranged far deeper, far wider, than simple mating. He wasn’t going to tell me, though.

“I can, but this isn't reasonable, Ran—Renaud,” I said, gesturing. “Your response is not equal to my defiance.”

“Reason? You attempt toreasonwith ancient power? With monstrous ancient power? You do not reason with it, you destroy it. And if you are not strong enough to destroy it, then you must at least be strong enough to keep the beast from your gates.”

Who was talking to me now was clear enough. I almost snorted.Now isn't the time for a lecture, Darkan.

He lifted his brows.You have so much to learn, Aerinne. Your every waking minute should be a lecture.

Pain in my jaw as I ground my teeth together, avoiding a flinch. The mental pathways we shared were so ingrained that I once again cursed myself for succumbing so easily to the mental manipulation that had kept me in the dark.

Don’t be,he said.I am an Old One and you are barely more than an infant. Even if you had seen a thousand years, you would have been no match for me. The independence you retain is what I allow.

The hubris begged for me to punch him. I refrained because unfortunately, said hubris was based on fact, and I doubted he’d let me land a punch, anyway.

You desire to be my equal? Then you must work, Aerinne. Learn. Gather your power and play the game.He smiled.I will allow you to oppose me, even, where it does not harm our long-term goals. The practice will be good for you.

I grimly accepted his arrogance as a fact of his nature. He was strong. I was weak. I must grow more powerful, and perhaps he was right and I should allow him to guide me in this. I wasn’t willing to waste energy on aggravation anymore. Not when I could rule at his side. Not when I could be the one whose mind and blood and body sustained him. Was it not an honor? Was it not hisright?

I shook my head. Wait a minute. What in the human hell was I thinking?

“We will discuss those long-term goals at length,” I said after several minutes of silence. The edges of my calm were frayed, but I remained controlled for the most part. There was unexpected freedom in calmness—freedom from the tyranny of needing to react to everything. “But the more immediate concern is your siege of this city.” I softened my voice. “Release us, Prince. I have just been reunited with you and this fight is a petty distraction.”

“Them,” he corrected. “You and I are one.”

“Very well. Release them.”

Renaud turned away from me, tilting his head back to gaze up at the moon. “What do you offer for me to concede?”

“If you release the city, and harm no one else, I will forgive you.”

“For what do I require forgiveness?”

“You lied to me, Raniel. Manipulated me.” I forced the words past a closing throat. “You knew I loved you, and you—” Left me. I stopped, turned away because I couldn’t control my expression.

“And what did you expect me to do?” he said in the silence. “To offer you the full truth? My dear sweet halfling, I amRenaud, Prince of Everenne, the male you deem your blood enemy. You were a girl when you loved me. Would you rather I had taken advantage of that love? Another might have. You were. . .old enough for such an alliance. No one could have told me no, not even Muriel and Nur.”

Except Embriel had. Then died for his attempt to intervene.

I turned back to him. “Don’t make it sound altruistic. You allowed the relationship for your own reasons. Whatwerethose reasons, Raniel? What was the purpose of grooming a girl to love you?”

Even as I spoke, I knew the accusation was unfair. He hadn’t made me love him, but he must have known what was happening.

His thin smile was ugly, brilliant. “You keep using that word. Do you think I'm unaware of what it means?” He paced closer to me. “I built a careful fence around your power so you could navigate it without destroying yourself.” Another step. “I was the one who kept you from killing yourself when your mother died. Grooming you, you indulged child?

“Every time you so much as skinned your knee and called out my name, I was there. Every battle where death was a blade’s kiss away, I intervened. I allowed my Princess to dishonor me with her drunken sorority antics time and again and refrained from simply locking you in my palace—you should be thanking me for keeping you alive and sane.”

“You called me your anchor. If you grounded me, Raniel, I grounded you in return. Don't speak as if the debt in this symbiotic relationship goes one way.”

We stared at each other, even uglier words in the air between us. Because of the mental connection, the words didn’t need to be said. Nor the agreement to back away and set them aside. For now.

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