Page 64 of Blood On His Lips

Because my pain was insignificant? The threat I posed so laughable I could be brushed aside as easily as a human?

No. . .he’d let me rage because in the millennial scheme of things, my anger must seem fleeting to him. He must have been so confident that eventually I would be subsumed by him. Of course, he wasn’t wrong. How had Nayya managed Assariel? I regretted that I hadn’t had more time with her. If anyone could advise me, she could, especially since she knew her son.

I realized I was clutching my chest and looked down, but my clothing was unblemished. My heart still beat beneath the protective barrier of my rib cage.

His faint sigh caressed my ears. “Aerinne—”

I straightened, forcing my body intoperfectCourt posture, forcing pain and anger into an iron lined box, and regarded him with a heart going as cold as his eyes. I would not allow him to have my anger, not even that much of me.

“You lied. You’ve lied to me one way or another since I was seven years old.” Anger burned my esophagus, rose in my throat and I shoved it aside, ruthless, and continued to speak softly. We had to address this. If I let him think lying and manipulating me had no consequence, then he would do it again, and I would never be able to trust him. “At each stage of my life you have formed one of the pillars. A rotted, illusory pillar. Raniel, then Darkan, and now Renaud. Who are you? Do you even know?”

Raniel’shands had been in my body, his mouth on my neck and breasts. I’d just begun to love Raniel with a lover’s passion before he cut me off—and now I understood why.

“I have never lied to you.” The last remnants of blue drained from his eyes, leaving them moonstone pale. “I have merely withheld certain aspects of the truth for your own protection.”

“Not for mine. For yours. For the protection of your power.” When I was older, he could have revealed the truth. Why wait so long? Did his feelings for me frighten him that much? “I know why you never wanted me to speak of—” The words choked in my throat. “Release the geas.”

“No. Not while you are in this state. When you are thinking clearly again and I can trust your judgment, then I will do so.”

“My thoughts are clearer than they ever have been.”

My lengthening, sharpening nails bit into my palms. Hard, because I needed the pain to remind me not to slash out at his face. To remind me that it was my heat he wanted, not my ice. Also, the Guard would be unamused if I drew Renaud’s blood. I almost didn't care. It would be worth it, even if they cut me down.

But no, that was angry Aerinne. I closed my eyes, the ambient noise around me fading as I reached a center of calm.

I didn’t know how much time passed, but cold Aerinne opened her eyes and simply watched him out of expressionless eyes.

“Aerinne,” he said softly. “Do not do this.”

I gave him a slight smile.Do what, my Prince?

Anger scalded my insides, and frustration—but those were not my emotions because I had tucked mine away. Awful, unrelenting desire and possessiveness. It beat at me, infiltrating the rope of our bond and attempting to break through my cold.

The hunger, the barely leashed impulse to take and consume. The desperate need for peace and solace. Digging claws into the mind infiltrating mine, I ripped it out and flung it aside.

Raniel’s—no, Renaud’s, I wouldn’t allow the intimacy of calling him by his Ninephene name—eyes narrowed. “Dismiss your people and come with me.”

Renaud stepped towards me, hand still outstretched. I looked at it, then him, and began to turn away.

I understand you are angry and confused. Come with me.

I sucked in a breath and halted; it was a blow, his mental voice. Darkan’s mental voice. It battered against the impenetrable cliff of my defenses, and my defenses held.

We will discuss this.The intonation took on the mellifluous, hypnotic quality of his singing voice.

For a moment, I allowed my yearning to escape the lid of my iron box, a mental construct he’d taught me years ago. He had not sung to me in so many years.

Little one. Come with me. We will return to the beach and speak there.

He dangled the sweet bait in front of me like candy for a child. I kicked him out, slammed the lid closed again. “No. I'm not going anywhere with you. I'm never going anywhere with you again. We are over, Raniel. Darkan. Stay out of my mind and stay out of my life.”

A muscle in his cheek twitched subtly. I wasn’t even sure if he was aware how transparent he now was to me.

He still had not lowered his hand. “Be careful, Aerinne Kuthliele. You are mine, but you will respect me.”

“Respect has to be earned. Respect begins with honesty, not lies and manipulation.” I gave him another small smile then distanced myself a step, gave him half my back. “Never mind, there's no point in discussing this.”

“I have not dismissed you.”

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