Page 7 of Lexi, Property of Rhyder

Come on, Lexi. You’re stronger than this. You can’t let what happened dictate your whole life.

With a heavy knowing sigh, I realize I need to move on and embrace life again. I still have a future to look forward to. I’ve been accepted into Harvard to study medicine, and I have great friends and a great family.Surely, I can get past this.There’s more to me than one defining moment.

Wiping away tears and wondering how I’m going to pull off going out tonight, I continue to stand at my mirror for what seems like hours. I’ve done well so far, hiding the fact that I’m scared to death to go out anywhere. What’s one night out? I take a deep breath and try not to think about the consequences or how it will turn out.

With one last look at myself in the mirror, even though I’m dressed in my dark denim jeans, ankle boots, and a black off-the-shoulder top, I still look pretty good. Diane won’t approve, I know this. She’ll turn her nose up at me when she sees what I’m wearing, but there’s no way I’m changing into anything revealing, I don’t want any unwanted attention. Walking over, I pick up my lip gloss from my desk and apply a little. I’ve never been one for lots of makeup, it’s just not me. Diane and Stacey, on the other hand, love makeup, and I have to admit, sometimes they go a little overboard, but it’s not me. Just a touch of mascara, lip gloss, and bronzer is all I need.

“Where you off to tonight?” my mom asks as I make my way down the stairs. She’s cleaning the living room, wearing slim jeans, a sweater, and her hair is up in a bun. I love seeing my mom like this she’s always working and usually dressed in suit pants or a skirt. She’s a psychologist and a great one. My mom and dad met in their younger years at Harvard. My dad was studying to be a neurosurgeon and my mom psychology. My dad says it was love at first sight. Mom walked out of her class in a rush and tripped with her books flying everywhere. My dad helped her pick them up, and they’ve been together ever since.

I’ve always dreamed of finding that kind of love, you know the kind that gives you butterflies and has you in a constant daydream state. That’s what I want, well wanted, just not sure If I’ll ever want to be close to a man again. The only man I feel close to is Rhyder. It’s ridiculous, I know, but everywhere I look, there he is, and I have to admit, I feel those butterflies when I see him—although it is borderline stalking, but I don’t care. I like that he’s there watching over me.

Will he be there tonight?

“I’m just going out with the girls. We’re heading out to a club to celebrate graduation.”

My mom drops the last magazine on the coffee table and turns to me giving me her full attention. “I know I don’t have to tell you not to get too wild.” Mom smiles, and I make my way down the last step.

“No, you don’t, Mom. Actually, not sure I’ll be drinking at all.”

She laughs out loud with her hands on her hips. “Oh, Alexandra Ambers, you don’t need to lie to me. I was young once, too, you know,” she explains with a smirk on her face as she reaches me and flicks my hair over my shoulder. I love it when she does that. It’s something she’s been doing since I was a little girl.

“Yes, Mom, I’ve heard those stories about how you partied hard when you were younger. I’m just not like you.”

“No, you’re not, are you?” She cocks her head to the side. “Look, I know I don’t have to tell you to be careful, you’ve always had a good head on your shoulders, but I wouldn’t be a mom if I don’t say this.”Here we go. “One… don’t accept drinks from strangers. Two… do not get in a car with anyone who’s been drinking,” she explains counting on her fingers.

“And three… don’t drink too much,” I say in sync with her.

If only you knew, Mom, how I did do something foolish and walked home alone. If only you knew I was dragged into bushes and raped.My eyes fill with tears.

My mom’s smile turns into a frown, “Honey, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

I sniffle and try to smile, hiding away my true feelings. “Yeah, sorry, just sad thinking about how I won’t get to see you all the time.”

Good one, Lex.

“Oh, honey, I’m going to miss you, too.” Mom brings me in for a hug, and I cry into her shoulder. We both just stand there hugging each other until I hear the doorbell.

“Shoot, my mascara.”

“Here, let me have a quick look.” She pulls back and wipes under my eyes with her thumbs. “There… you look beautiful.”

Smiling and kissing her on the cheek, I say, “Love you, Mom.”

“I love you, too.”

The doorbell chimes again, and I give her one last hug then head to the door. Opening it, I hear Diane say, “Well, hello, bitch.”

Stacey is standing beside her with a smile and waving.

Laughing, I turn to my mom who’s now shaking her head.

Diane’s dressed in a short leather skirt and a white V-neck top, looks behind me seeing my mom. “Oh, hey, Mrs. A.” I look back at my mom who waves at her.

“Hi, Diane, how are your parents doing?” she asks, walking toward us.

“Fine. They’re fine.” Diane looks from my mom to me, and her eyes look at me up and down.

Oh no, there’s that look—the look of disapproval.

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