“I’m sorry…. I’m just not ready to get married.”
He lets go of me and falls back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. “You don’t really love me, do you? You say you do, but you’ve been lying to me all this time.”
Fuck!
I sniffle again and turn over on my side to look down at him, leaning on my hand. “Blaze, no. I do love you. You know that.”
His gaze snaps to mine. “Do I? You say you do, yet you don’t want a future with me.” Anger and frustration pouring from him, he gets up from the bed and picks up his discarded jeans.
My body goes cold, when only minutes ago I was flushed with desire, and I hold my hand to my mouth to stop my sobs. After a moment, I swallow around the lump in my throat. “Where are you going?” I choke out.
He doesn’t answer, just continues to pull his jeans up his legs and button them up, the Blood Brothers tattoo I had given him staring at me from his back.
“Please don’t go, Blaze.”
Again, silence, just the sound of him shuffling into his clothes. He throws his white tee on and then his cut, and sits on the edge of the bed to put his socks and boots on. Feeling vulnerable, I pull the sheet up my body, and try again to get his attention. “Blaze, please look at me.”
He stands, looks down at the floor, then slowly turns to face me, his hands on his hips. The pain I see laced in his eyes causes my stomach to drop. I’ve hurt him.
“Blaze, please stay. Let’s talk about thi—”
“You know,” he interrupts, dropping his hands and pointing a finger at me. “The first time I asked you to marry me, you said no, it’s too soon. I thought maybe, yeah, she’s right. I’ll give her time. It’s another fuckin’ year, Tess. If you don’t love me, or are ashamed to call me your man, then tell me now! Don’t waste my fuckin’ time.”
Fear that I’m going to lose the one man I’ve ever loved fills me. “Please, Blaze. I can’t… it’s just too....”
“Too what?” he yells, narrowing his eyes at me. “You say you love me, so what’s the problem? Or is it true, that I’m not good enough for you?”
“What? Not good enough for me? Who said that?”
He sighs. “No one. Look, that’s not the issue here. What is, is that this is the second time that I’ve asked you to marry me, and you’ve turned me down twice.” He takes a step back and looks at the floor, then laughs bitterly. “You know what? it doesn’t even matter. I’ve just realized that the woman I love and want to marry doesn’t want me.”
“No, please, Blaze…. I do wa—”
“I need to be alone,” he says quietly, turning and grabbing the keys to his motorcycle off the side table.
I quickly get on my knees and crawl to the edge of the bed where he is and grasp his arm. “Don’t leave me, Blaze. Please,” I beg, tears now streaming down my face.
He looks down at where my hand is touching him, then at me. What seems like minutes pass, which I’m sure in reality is only a couple of seconds. He doesn’t say anything, just straightens and walks to the bedroom door. Opening it, he looks over his shoulder at me. “That was the last time I ask you to marry me.”
Then he storms out the door, slamming it behind him.
What have I done?