Page 79 of Tess, Property of Blaze

Blaze

“For God’s sake, Trigger, you need to calm the fuck down,” I state, watching as he tightens the tie around his neck. We all stare at one another, not quite believing that once again, we’re all wearing suits to a wedding. How the fuck did this happen? I’d even shaved and got my hair cut for him.

“You boys look good,” Trigger says, looking around at us all. It’s finally the day Trigger and Charity are getting married. They held off their wedding because of Tess’s death, and although she tried, Charity couldn’t hold off on having a baby girl. They called her Hope, and I laughed inappropriately when Trigger told us. Faith, Hope, and Charity—how cliché. Trigger slapped me on the back of my head, reminding me that Charity had lost her first baby, and that she’d hoped and prayed that this birth would turn out fine, which is why they thought of the name. I felt like shit then. Of course the name suited her well, and she’s a bundle of joy, with black hair and green eyes. Just like Trigger.

Trigger asked us all to be his best man... best men? You can always count on Trigger to be different. So now, as I stand at the altar, the song “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith playing, I think of Tess. I ‘d always hoped that one day it would be me standing here at the altar, watching Tess as she walked toward me wearing a white dress, that gorgeous smile of hers shining from her beautiful face.

I swallow down the lump that’s formed in my throat. I see my mom in the crowd, then look to my left to Hawke, and Quill on my right, then the other boys. Tess should have been one of Charity’s ladies, and it makes me incredibly sad that she’s missing out on this. On everything.

I feel a tap on my back and look over at Hawke, whose expression shows that he knows exactly what I’m thinking. I lift my chin up to him, then look ahead when the chorus to the song surrounds us.

Jasmine walks in first, her kids by her side, followed by Luisa, who’s carrying her twins in her arms. I look over at Hawke and Quill again—they both have big smiles on their faces, and I envy them because they have it all, their women, their kids. But as Jasmine and Luisa move nearer, I notice they’re both openly crying, but smiling at the same time. I mean, it is a wedding after all, but their gazes are stuck on mine, not the groom’s, or Quill and Hawke’s, and I don’t understand why. I mean, know I look good in a suit… but not that good.

Just to be sure, I turn around and look behind me, but there’s nothing but trees and flowers there, since Charity and Trigger decided to have an outside garden wedding. A marquee sits to the right of us, ready for the reception, so I can’t work out why they’d be looking so intently at me, and with tears.

And then I just know. I feel her before I see her. This can’t be real. It can’t be…. Can it?

The music stops and all eyes turn to the back of the garden area, to where Jasmine and Luisa emerged from only moments ago. To where she stands.

Tess.

She’s wearing a gold dress, the same dress that matches Jasmine’s and Luisa’s. But it doesn’t make sense in my head. I think I’m hallucinating. I look over to my boys, who are all staring in disbelief as well, their mouths open. Tess is standing there, flowers in her hand, and a big smile on her very real face. I notice that her eyes are filled with tears as her gaze bores into mine. Can it be real? Could she really be here?

But… she’s dead. We buried a casket for her. We said goodbye.

What the hell?

“Blaze, man, it’s Tess, it’s fuckin’ Tess,” Hawke says, laughing in very apparent joy and disbelief. I feel you, bro. Jesus!

I look over at Prez, who also has a stunned look on his face, then look back toward Tess, making sure I’m not seeing a ghost.

“You can see her?” I ask Hawke, who yells out “Yes, I can fuckin’ see her. You gonna keep her waiting? Go to her, man.” He pushes me forward, a wide, goofy grin on his face.

I look back at Tess, my heart beating so rapidly that I feel myself getting dizzy. She stares back at me and nods, as if she’s saying “Yes, it is me.” And just like those movies I make fun of, I jump down from the makeshift altar and run to her. I run as fast as I ever have in my life, and when I reach her, I grab her and hold her at arm’s length, running my gaze up and down her whole body.

“It’s you. It’s really you,” I choke out, real tears now falling down my face. I don’t give a flying fuck that everyone is watching me break down, it’s Tess. She’s here. I can feel her flesh and bones in my hands gripping her tightly.

Tess can’t hold back tears either and I gently wipe them away using my thumbs. “You came back to me,” I whisper, and she just nods, as choked up as I am. I pull her into my arms and kiss her. I kiss her until we both run out of breath and pull away panting. Then we just stand there and stare at each other in wonder.

Eventually the cheers and catcalls from our friends and family break through, and I pull back just a little further. “You really are here? I can’t believe it.” And then I completely break down and fall to my knees on the ground, dropping my head into my hands, crying out, “This can’t be happening.”

“It’s real, baby. I’m real,” she whispers, getting down on her knees in front of me. I feel the touch of her fingers running through my hair, and I straighten up and look at her, “I’m so sorry I was gone, I have so much to tell you. But I’m here now, and I promise you, I’m never going to leave you again. I love you, Blaze, now and forever. I won’t ever be away from you again.”

“Tess?” I hear my mom’s voice beside me. “Tess? Oh my God, it’s really you!”

Tess stands up and hugs my mom. I use the moment to look around, only to discover that everyone else has tears in their eyes as well, even my boys, who are looking over at us and smiling. My gaze lands on Jasmine, who’s smiling the widest, and I shake my head at her in disbelief.

“Sorry,” she mouths, and I can only smile back before I look over to Tess, needing to remind myself that she’s really here.

My mom beckons me closer. “Come here, son, God has brought her back to us.”

I take her outstretched hand and stand up. I pull Tess in tight using my left arm, and my right drapes over my mom’s shoulders, giver her a squeeze.

She’s home, Tess is really home.

We hear the sound of a mic being tapped, and we all look up toward the altar. “Hey, Tess. We’re all happy you’re here and all, but can I fuckin’ get married now? My bride is over there, I need to make her mine.”

I laugh then and look up to behind Tess. Standing there waiting patiently, but also with tears in her eyes, is Charity. She’s been standing there waiting to marry her guy the whole time. Sorry, but not sorry at all.

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