Page 60 of Tess, Property of Blaze

Blaze

Something’s off with Tess. From the day we moved into our new house, she’s been distant from me. It’s been three weeks now, and don’t get me wrong, I know she loves it here—she tells me day in and day out—but there’s just something going on in her head. I know what happened with Viper would have left scars—fuck, the thought of him touching her has me going all crazy and shit, what he did to her, ripping her down there… I’m close to losing it, I need to talk myself down every time I think about it.

I’ve been going to the gym every day, sometimes even twice, just so I can take out my frustrations, because I can’t show Tess my anger. I need to be strong for her and get her through this tough time.

That night, back at the warehouse, we took out most of Viper’s men, but we fucked up, because some got away. As promised, Prez left Viper to me, but not before I took a gunshot in the arm from him. Luckily I had my boys with me, because they tackled him to the floor and stopped him from getting another one in me. I’ve never hated anyone as much as I hated Viper, and fortunately for him, I got to him before I saw what he did to Tess, because if I’d known then what he’d put her through, he would have been taken to the ground and learned what real pain felt like.

As it was, the boys had tied him up in the warehouse, and I got to make a punching bag out of him. The man’s tough as steel—punch after punch, kick after kick, with blood dripping out of his mouth, he still had a smile on his fuckin’ ugly face. Maybe it was the cocaine he had in him, or just the fact he’s crazy as shit, but it was as if he didn’t feel a thing. In the end he died choking on his own blood, and he suffered, which is the best death I could ask for.

Tess doesn’t know all the details, just that he’s gone, and she doesn’t have to worry about him coming back to get her. She doesn’t ask many questions, either, which is fine by me. She did keep asking about Amy and Sam, the girls the Forseekers were getting ready to transport to LA and sell to the mafia there, to become prostitutes for some rich fucks. All Tess wanted to do was see for herself that they were all right. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she saw them again, and that they were now free and back with their families and friends. It showed me again what a beautiful person she is.

Luke couldn’t thank us enough for finding his sister, Amy. We were just glad we found them before they vanished even deeper into the trafficking business. As for Nicky, she’s in some pretty intensive therapy, learning ways to deal with everything that happened. From what we heard, she was the one who copped the worst of it, her poor body pumped with so many drugs that she just about forgot who she was. At least now she’s getting the help she needs.

I stare at Tess as she stands on the balcony overlooking the ocean. Her arms are bare, showing her ink, and her tight denim skirt shows off her sexy as fuck legs. I want her, boy do I want her. My body craves her, just as it always has, but I need to tell Tess what happened with Katie in my room that night. I’m reluctant to, knowing it could fuck everything up, but I want her to know everything—no more secrets.

I just hope this wall she’s built around herself comes down eventually, because I fuckin’ miss her. I miss her so goddamn much. I need her, just like I need the air to breathe. I have to prove to her that she can trust me, and that I’m not letting her go again. The doctor told her that she could be intimate again, but I won’t push it. As much as I want her, she must be the one to come to me. I don’t even know why I’m thinking about it, I doubt she’ll even want to have sex again after what Viper did to her, but it doesn’t mean I don’t crave her. She’s a beautiful woman, and a man can’t help but find her hot as fuck.

The coffee finishes brewing and I pour two mugs. Last night in bed, Tess woke up screaming in her sleep, sweat pouring from her trembling body from what must have been a terrifying nightmare. I know for sure it has to do with Viper, but she says she doesn’t want to talk about it. I get that, I do, but she’s going to have to open up to me eventually and let it all out. And if not to me, then someone else. Yesterday I called her doctor and told him about her nightmares. After reminding me about doctor/patient confidentiality, blah, blah, blah, he just said it was totally normal behavior after the ordeal she’d been through. He did give me the contact details of a shrink he seems to think might be able to help, and told me it would be good for her to talk to someone and get it all out, rather than hold it in.

What kills me the most is that Tess has always been a tough woman. She was the strongest one of all the old ladies, always the one looking out for them, especially when Luisa and Jasmine were both hurt when shit went down with Quill’s old man, and then the drug lord, Santana. She was there, the first to get to the hospital each time, and now it hurts so goddamn much to see her suffering like this. The girls have been calling every day to see how she is, and I keep telling them she’s okay, that she’s getting there slowly, day by day. Tess doesn’t want to speak to anyone at the moment, but I’m not sure it’s the right thing for her. I called Jasmine this morning, and she’s going to come over this afternoon. I’m hoping that when Tess sees her, she’ll know that she’s still the same Tess, the same girl that everyone loves.

Jeff’s been calling too, and I’ve asked him if he can hold the fort at the shop until Tess is ready to go back. He’s had to hire someone to help him out in the meantime, and I didn’t want to hassle her with the business issues, so I stepped in and helped Jeff seek out another tattooist, hopefully just on a temporary basis. We decided on a guy named Brian, who works with Mike at Mike’s bar, and was happy to take on some extra shifts as a tattooist for Ink Me. He’s qualified, wicked talented, and does amazing work, so Jeff was more than happy to hire him. At least it’ll take some of the pressure off Jeff in the meantime.

With the two steaming mugs in my hand, I make my way to the balcony. “Hey, beautiful.” Tess turns to me, smiling. I’d die a happy man if I could see that smile every day. “Here you go, black coffee, just as you like it.”

She giggles, and the sound makes my heart all warm and fuzzy and shit.

“It’s so beautiful out here,” she says, looking out at the ocean once again as she sips her coffee.

“Yeah, babe, I’ve never seen anything so beautiful,” I reply, ignoring the view and looking directly at her, letting her know that she’s the only thing that’s beautiful to me. She smiles shyly, and fuck I love it. She looks into my eyes, and I can’t help but flick my tongue out to play with my lip ring. It’s a habit of mine—anytime I wanted Tess, that would be my way of letting her know. Her eyes widen slightly as her gaze zones in on the movement, then travels down my chest and settles on my abs. It takes a few seconds, but when she realizes what she’s doing, her cheeks turn a delicious shade of pink. It’s not like Tess to be shy, she’s never shown such vulnerability as she is right now. The Tess I know takes what she wants, when she wants it, and she’s never been shy of letting me know that she wants me.

This morning, I went for a run on the beach wearing my regular sweats and a tank top. When I got back home, I pulled my shirt off as soon as I walked in the door. It was soaked with sweat and sticking to my skin. Tess was in the shower, so I waited till she was done. I didn’t miss the way her eyes roamed over my body then, and she’s doing the same thing now. I just want to smash my lips to hers and give her what I know she wants. But I can’t, I need her to be the one to make the first move, she needs to be the one to lead the way. I just need to give her time.

I take a sip of my coffee then clear my throat. “So what’s on today? Want to go take a walk on the beach? Or go for a ride?” Her eyes light up when I mention taking a ride. There’s my girl. Tess has her own bike, and although I love having a woman who can ride a motorcycle, I love it even more when she’s holding on to me on the back of mine. Her warm, lush body wrapped around mine is like my idea of heaven.

“Ride it is,” I say, smiling. “But after, we have a visitor coming.”

She frowns. “Visitor?”

“Yeah, baby. Jasmine’s coming over.” Her eyes go wide as she dives into panic mode, and before she can say anything, I cut her off. “Babe, it’s been three weeks since we moved in here, and the girls have been calling every day because they’re worried about you. And before you say anything, it’s only Jasmine coming over. If anyone understands what you’ve gone through, she would.”

Tears spring to her eyes, and I grab her mug and place hers along with mine on the small café-style table next to us. I wrap my arm around Tess and lift her chin with a finger on my other hand. “Look, baby. I know it’s hard for you, and I wish I knew how the fuck to help you through this.” Tears now roll down her sweet face. “Please don’t cry, I hate seeing you cry.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, lowering her eyes.

“Fuck, Tess. Don’t be sorry, I never want you to be sorry.” I lift her chin again, smiling down at her gently.

“But….”

“No buts. Just give Jasmine a chance, she’s a good person.” She nods her head and wipes her tears away with her hand. “I know you’re hurting, baby, and fuck, I wish I could take it away, but I know I can’t. I can be here for you and be whatever you need, because all I want is for things to go back to the way they were.”

“But things aren’t the same, Blaze, you know that.”

I let go of her and wrap my hands around the balcony’s steel frame, and squeeze the shit out of it as her words sink in. I slam my fist on it, then look at her, sympathy and regret and frustration warring for room on my face. “I know that. Fuck, I know that, Tess. But God, I will do anything to make things like the way they were, I just need you to want the same thing.”

She looks at me and tucks a stray hair behind her ear, then turns to stare out at the ocean.

“I know you’re not sure, you’ve had a wall up since we’ve been here, and I’ve let it be up because I thought you needed it. But, baby, I need to know that you still want me?”

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