“Hello, Aunty Tess.” I feel small arms wrap around my thigh and look down to see Rose clinging to me, a big grin on her face. Rose is a spitting image of Jasmine, with her long dark hair and green eyes, and she’s simply gorgeous. I look around for Jack, who is never too far away, and find him running around the clubhouse, causing havoc as always with his endless energy.
“Hello, sweetheart, how are you today?” I ask, bending down and kissing the top of her head.
“I’m good, Mommy’s taking us to the zoo.”
I look up at Jasmine. “Is she now? You have a very good mommy.”
“Tell me about it,” Jasmine says, rolling her eyes.
“You guys enjoy shopping while the boys have church and I take the kids to the zoo.”
“Why don’t you come with us?”
A look of panic fills Jasmine’s eyes.
“No, um…. Lu needs a day out, the kids would just be in the way.”
Confused, I look at Lu; she also has a panicked look. What’s going on?
“Okay then, you guys head out and enjoy,” Jasmine says, grabbing Lila out of my arms.
She cries when she leaves me, and I croon, “It’s okay, I’ll be back. Aunty Tess will be back soon,” running my hand gently over her soft hair before stepping away.
“Ready?” Lu asks,
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”
As we’re walking out, Lu leads the way, and Jasmine suddenly grasps my arm, holding me back. I look at her, confused.
“Little bit of warning, I went shopping with Lu last week and we spent over two hours trying on clothes. We walked out with one pair of jeans, so I hope you have some comfy shoes on,” she teases, giggling as she rolls her eyes.
I laugh then quickly cover my mouth, not wanting Luisa to know we’re talking about her.
“Are we going?” Lu yells from the door.
I kiss Jasmine on her cheek. “Thanks for the tip, I’m glad I wore my Converse.”
I leave Jasmine and walk up to Lu, still smiling. “What was that about?”
“Oh, nothing,” I reply, quickly walking ahead of her to make a start to our day.
Luisa decides to drive, and we head into the city to get our shopping on. I find myself distracted in the car, the thought of what I’m going to say to Blaze when I get back running endlessly through my mind. The good thing is, Luisa hasn’t noticed that I’m distracted and continues to talk about Hawke and the twins, and how nice it is to have a girlie day out. I grab my phone out of my purse and check to see if I have any missed calls or texts—but there’s still nothing. What if he’s had enough and doesn’t want me anymore? What if this is the final straw for him? I turn to look out my window and try to imagine my life without Blaze. What would I do? How would I move on? I wouldn’t, is the response in my head. How could I continue to live without Blaze? I hate that I’ve become this insecure woman, but I guess that’s what love does to you, and the fact that I could lose it any day.
“Hey, you. What’s going on?”
I snap my head up and look at Lu, a fake smile planted on my face. “What do you mean?”
“You’re somewhere else today. Are you okay?” she asks, glancing at me then back at the road.
I rub my palms down my jeans to my knees and inhale. “I’m okay.”
“You don’t sound okay. If there’s something bothering you, you can tell me, I won’t say a thing.”
Can I tell her? It would be nice to finally tell someone, but then again, that someone should be Blaze, he is the one who should know first.
“No, I’m fine, hon, honestly,” I say, smiling as brightly as I can manage. “Look, there’s a parking spot.” I point to an empty spot, happy at the chance to change the subject.
“Hey, good catch, Tess.” She parks the car, and I remove my belt and open the door.