Tess
It’s lunchtime and he’s still not back. I’ve had a shower, gone out front to have some coffee and something to eat, and still nothing. I’ve tried calling and messaging him numerous times but he’s not answering, not even messaging back.
I don’t blame him, he’s pissed, and I’ve probably hurt his pride. I get it, I do. This is the second time he’s asked me to marry him and I’ve said no. I just wish that me being his old lady was enough for him—not Blaze, though, he wants to be all in. And I do too, I just can’t. The look on his face when he left was enough to tell me how upset he was. I know it’s time I tell him. I can’t keep it from him any longer. I’ve been waiting for the right time, but it seems the more I keep my past a secret from him, the more I’m hurting him. I need to get it out in the open, even if he doesn’t want me after all this. I need to be straight with him. What other choice do I have?
The buzz of my phone has me coming out of my thoughts, and I quickly snatch it from the side table, hoping it’s Blaze. Disappointment fills me when I open up the message and see Luisa’s name.
Hey, you. I’m in desperate need of a girl’s day out, shopping to be exact. It seems I need a new wardrobe.
A slight smile reaches my lips; Luisa has been complaining the last few weeks that she can’t get rid of the extra weight she put on after having the twins. She looks amazing to me, but she swears she can’t fit into her prebaby clothes. Hawke’s not complaining, I hear him tell her how he’s loving her new curves and wouldn’t want it any other way. He’s such a sweet guy.
But do I want to go shopping?It’s Sunday, and Ink Me isn’t open today. It’s the only day of the week that I get to have a day off.Maybe the distraction will do me good, until I figure out how I’m going to tell Blaze the truth about my past.
I text Luisa back: Sure, see you soon.
I quickly walk to the dresser and apply some makeup, then change my shirt. I brush my hair again, trying to tame my wavy hair. It seems it doesn’t like this humid weather, my curls coming through, no matter how many times I straighten it. Content with my appearance, I gather my things together, including my purse. I’m just about to check my phone again when I hear a light knock on the door. The time on my phone says half an hour has passed since Luisa texted me. Opening the door, I place a wide smile on my face, thinking it’s Luisa.
“That was quick….” My words stumble when I realize it’s Rhyder standing there, in black jeans with rips at the knees, a white shirt, and his cut. Rhyder is one good-looking guy, I’m clueless as to why he hasn’t got a woman yet.
“Oh, hey, Rhyder. What’s up?”
“Hey, darlin, just looking for Blaze, he back yet?” He looks behind me and around the room. I sink my hands into the front pockets of my jeans, my stomach falling. “Um…. No, sorry, Rhyder,” I say, looking everywhere else except at him.
Knowing Rhyder saw him leave, and me yelling out his name, I try to dodge his questioning eyes, and smile. “He’ll be back soon, I’m sure.”
“Yeah, it’s all good,” he states grabbing his cell out of his back pocket. “Prez is calling church, that’s all. I’ll just give Blaze a call.”
He turns his back to me, and I hear the sound of his finger pressing numbers on the phone. I don’t close the door; I’m too anxious to see if Blaze answers it.
“Hey, brother, where you at?” I hear Rhyder say. “Oh yeah? Still there? Tell her hi for me, and that I’ll be visiting soon to get my own pancakes.”
Pancakes? He must be at his mom’s. I try not to let the fact that Blaze answered Rhyder’s call and not mine upset me. I’ve hurt him, I deserve it.
“Prez is calling church. When can you be here, brother?”
Silence….
“Okay, bro, I’ll tell Prez an hour.”
Ending the call, he turns around, and his look turns to one of surprise, noticing I’m still standing there. “Anything you need, Tess?”
“Yeah, um…. What time is it?” You’re an idiot, you have your cell in your hand. I’m dying on the inside but keep looking at Rhyder intently.
He frowns, then looks down at his watch. “Just hit twelve thirty.”
“Cool, thanks. Luisa should be here any minute.”
“I just saw her out front, she just walked in with Hawke and the twins,” he replies, pointing his thumb to the front of the club.
“Great, thanks, I’ll go meet her out front,” I say awkwardly, needing to get out of here before I die of humiliation.
He nods, then turns and walks down the hall toward the main room. I turn around and grab my purse from the bed and head outside, shutting the door behind me. I look down at my phone and decide to call Blaze one more time, I want to let him know that I’ll be out when he returns, but again he doesn’t pick up. Tears burn my eyes, hurt filling me with an aching, hollow feeling, but with the sound of Luisa nearby, heading my way, I quickly wave my hands at my eyes, trying to fan the tears away. I inhale then throw my phone in my purse and head toward her voice. Once I turn the corner, I practically bump into her, with Lila in her arms and Sienna in Jasmine’s.
“Say hello to Aunty Tess,” Luisa says to Lila, holding her tiny hand and making her wave at me.
“Hello, gorgeous girl,” I coo, taking her out of Lu’s arms and kissing her on her plump cheek before I adjust her on my hip.
She smells of baby powder. I love that smell. “One day I hope to have a little girl just like you,” I whisper to Lila, tapping her lightly on her nose.