Page 70 of Rise In Arms

I widen my eyes at his bombshell, and my heartbeat escalates at the mention of Blake’s name. I breathe deeply in and out, struggling to catch my breath.

“Breathe, baby”— Kane cups my cheek—“it’s okay, I promise. Look at me,” he demands, and I comply. “In and out.” I look into his eyes, concentrating on my breathing, and after a few minutes I’ve calmed down, the tight feeling in my chest gone.

“You’re going to be okay, you hear me, Char? I’m going to take care of you,” he promises, holding my face between his palms. Tears begin to flow, and he leans in and kisses them away. “I know you’re frightened, and I’m so goddamn sorry I didn’t stop what he did to you. I’m pissed at myself, and my club—we should have been more prepared.”

I turn to look away, but he forces me to keep looking at him. His face shows sorrow and remorse, and my heart squeezes.

“Did you kill him?” I ask nervously, licking my dry and chapped lips.

“Nah,” he says, shaking his head. “I wanted to but thought better of it.” He smirks then. “But he did get what he deserved, and I promise he won’t be bothering you anymore. Is that what you’re worried about?”

I chew at the inside of my cheek. “No… but I think it’s time I go back home.”

Kane’s jaw tic’s; he’s angry with me. He looks away, out the window nearby, then stands, his hands falling to his sides. Now he looks hurt.

“You’re going to leave me? After everything? You’re just going to forget us and move back home?”

My eyes blur with more unshed tears, and I can’t look at him when I say, “I think it’s for the best, there’s nothing here for me anymore.”

He places his hands on his hips, glaring at me. “What about me, Charity? And I not worth staying for? Baby,” he says softly, getting down on his knees at my side, clutching my hands in his. “I won’t let you leave me, not after I just found you. You have made me feel happiness again, came to me at a time that I needed you most. I’m not letting you leave me.”

“It’s not your choice, Kane. Besides, you don’t need me, you can have any woman. Just click your fingers, and I’m sure there will be a woman right there, willing to satisfy your needs in bed.”

“Is that what you think this is?” he asks, his finger pointing between us. “What we have is just for fun, in bed?”

I look away. I don’t know what to think right now.

“Look at me, Char. I said look at me!” he growls, and I’m forced to listen unless I want nurses and security to come running.

“I…. I love you,” he whispers, his voice filled with emotion.

Shocked and confused, I say, “You’re just saying that! You don’t love me, you just think you do.”

He stands again, running both hands through his hair in frustration. “How the fuck do you know what I feel? Stop putting words in my mouth. I love you, goddammit.”

I’m so sick of crying. “I can’t deal with all this right now, I need time alone.”

“You don’t love me? Is that what you’re saying, Charity? That what we had was just a fling?”

No, it’s not what I’m saying. I love you, you big jerk.

That’s what I should say, desperately want to, but I don’t. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. It was great while it lasted, but what I feel for you is friendship.”

“Friendship?” he repeats, his eyes narrowing. “You’re lying to me, Charity. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because you’re angry and upset right now. But I won’t let you push me away, do you understand that?” He glares down at me, and I can’t but think he’s beautiful, with his gorgeous green eyes, chiseled jaw, and body I know feels so damn good against mine. And the way he makes me feel is something I have never felt before, not even with Blake—but right now I can’t give him what he needs or deserves. I’m broken.

With all the courage I can gather, I look up at him and plant a blank expression on my face, even though my heart is tearing to shreds inside. “I don’t love you, Kane.”

His eyes shine with unshed tears at my harsh words. I’ve hurt him. Good. If the only way I can get him to leave me alone is using cruel words, then so be it. He needs to find a woman who can live the biker life, a woman that will give him all she’s got. I thought I was that woman, but now? I know I’m not.

When he turns and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him, I don’t call him back. I drop my head in my hands and cry my heart out as another piece of me is torn away.

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