Page 12 of Rise In Arms

She stops. “Okay.”

“I do love you, Jasmine,” I say softly. “God, I wish I didn’t, but I do. I’ve been trying everything in my power to stop, but I can’t, no matter how many women I take to bed. This… this is why I need to leave. I need to get the hell out of here. If Prez found out, he would kill me—I mean real-life death, and I wouldn’t blame him. I’m breaking the biker code, for God’s sake.” Tears pool in her eyes, and I have to physically stop myself from reaching out and touching them before they can fall. “I can’t stay here feeling the way I do about you. I love this club, and that includes Quill, he’s the best goddamn man I know.” She begins to sob now, so I stand and then cradle her in my arms. “I’m sorry, Jasmine.”

She pulls out of my hold and puts some distance between us by walking over to the door again, standing with her back against it. “Trigger… how? When?”

“I think since the beginning.”

“But… I love Quill. He is my life, we’re married, we have kids…. Surely you know how much I love him.”

“Of course I know, I’m not fucking blind,” I grit out. “I can’t help the way I feel, though. Don’t you know how many nights I’ve prayed to the Lord above to make me forget you?”

She shakes her head. “This can’t be happening,” she mumbles to herself, then looks straight at me. “I’m sorry if you’ve felt like my feelings were the same. Trigger, I love you too, but more like a brother.” She takes a couple of steps back toward me.

I sigh and rub my jaw. “I know you do, and that’s why I need to get the fuck out of here,” I explain, turning my back on her so I can continue to pack. “I need some time away, away from you.”

When I turn my head briefly to offer her a sad smile, I see her swipe at a stray tear. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that I’m the reason for you leaving. We, this club, are your family.”

“Yes, you are, and I will do anything for my family. And right now I need to get away, because seeing you every goddamn day is not helping.” I zip up my bag and carry it over my shoulder as I head for the door. Tears still run down her face, and I pause in front of her. “Please don’t cry. Tell me you understand?” I plead, inching closer to her. She doesn’t reply, just nods. “Good. Quill is a lucky man,” I whisper, and wipe away her tears. I can’t stand to see her cry.

She smiles a little as she sniffles. “Thank you.”

“Mommy, are you in there?” The small voice comes through from the hallway.

“That must be Jack,” she says. I smile when she swipes at her tears, then blows her breath upwards into her eyes, trying to conceal any evidence of her crying.

I walk to the door and open it wide while she’s getting herself together. “Uncle Trigger,” Jack squeals when he spots me, jumping into my arms immediately. I catch him just in time, and let my bag fall to the floor so I can get a good grip on his squirming body.

“Hewo, Uncle Trigger, Is Mommy here? Uncle Bear said she was.”

“Yes, little man, she’s right there.”

Jack looks over my shoulder, and his face lights up even more when he sees his mom. “Mommy!” he says, kicking his feet against me so I’ll put him down and he can run to her.

When he reaches Jasmine, she lifts him up and kisses his forehead. “Hi, baby.”

He places his tiny hands on Jasmine’s face and asks, “Mommy, are you sad?”

Jasmine glances at me then back to Jack, who is the splitting image of his father. Light blue eyes with dark hair.

“No, baby, I’m not.”

“Are you sad because Uncle Trigger is leaving?” Jack looks over at me, his bottom lip sticking out in the cutest pout.

“How did you know that?”

“Because Daddy said he was and wanted us to come and say goodbye.”

I take a deep breath. “Your dad is right, bud,” I reply, then walk over to them and scruff up his hair. Jasmine looks at me, her expression meaning so many things, and I smile. “I’ve got it, I’m sorry,” I mouth to her.

She leans in and kisses me on my cheek. “You’re forgiven.”

“Yuck, Mommy, you kissed a boy.”

“Who’s kissing who?” Quill asks, stepping into my room, holding baby Rose. “There you are, Jack. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

“Sowwy, Daddy,” Jack says, trying to wriggle himself out of Jasmine’s hold. She lets him go, and he runs to his dad and grips on to his leg.

“Here, let me take her,” Jasmine says, holding her hands out for the baby in Quill’s arms. Quill hands Rose over, but not before he steals a kiss from his wife.

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