Page 79 of Until Bax

“Why?”

“Do you want the list of reasons?” she asks, exasperated.

“It’s obvious you have one, so let's hear it.” I lean back against the sink.

“He sleeps around.”

“Correction—hesleptaround. What else?”

“He…” She shakes her head, and I can see she's trying to come up with more reasons. But she doesn’t have any because there are none.

“You have one reason he’s no good for me, and I havedozensfor why heis,” I tell her softly, hoping that this sinks in because I want her to understand how much he means to me. “He looked out for me when the delivery drivers were trying to extort me for more money, and he didn’t back down until the cops came, even when he had a gun shoved in his face. Then he ran over to Kourtney's in just his boxers to check on me the night someone threw a brick through the window, not knowing if he could be in danger.”

Her eyes widen in surprise, but I ignore the look and continue. “He carries me to bed if I fall asleep when we are watching TV on the couch. He sent me flowers at work just to say that he was thinking about me. He makes sure I eat and that I’m taken care of. And herefusedto sleep with me until you guys knew about us so that there wereno secrets.”

“Honey,” she whispers as her eyes begin to water.

“I think I’m falling in love with him.” The words tumble out, and I know I’m not just saying them for my mom's benefit. I’m falling in love with Bax, and even if that realization scares the crap out of me, there is no way I’d change things between us, even if I could. “And if things end up working out between us, I have no doubt he’s going to continue to give me everything he already has been every day for the rest of his life.”

“And what happens if thingsdon’twork out?” She blinks away the tears in her eyes, and they track down her cheeks.

“I don’t want to think about that, but if they don’t, I’ll have the experience of dating a really fricking good man, and whoever I end up dating next will have to give me everything I have now and more because there is no way I’ll ever settle for less again.”

She stares at me for a long time, then her shoulders droop, and her eyes drop to the floor. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I… I’m sorry. I just don’t want you to get hurt. But you’re right. All I have is one reason you and him shouldn’t be together, and it’s obvious that reason doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t,” I agree.

“I just love you.” She wipes the tears from her cheeks as she looks up at me.

“I know, and I love you too.” I uncross my arms and let my hands fall to my sides. “And I know you just want the best for me. I get that, which is the only reason I didn’t leave the restaurant the minute I spotted Lincoln.”

“He’s a good guy.”

“He is, but he’s not for me,” I tell her firmly, and she nods.

“Can I have a hug?” she asks pitifully.

“Yeah.” I step toward her with my arms open, and she wraps me in a tight embrace.

“Please don’t tell your dad I did this,” she whispers, and a laugh I can’t control bubbles up the back of my throat. “He told me that if I did, he would be angry with me, he loves that you and Bax found each other.” My chest warms. It’s good to know Bax and I have my father’s approval.

“I won’t tell him,” I promise as I lean back to look at her face. “Are you ready to go eat, Cupid?”

“Yes.” She laughs, shoving my shoulder. “I just need to fix my face.”

“Okay. You do that while I go reassure Lincoln and Ann that we’re okay.”

“All right, I’ll be out in a minute.” She goes to the sink while I open the door.

When I get back to the table, a glass of wine is waiting for me.

“Everything all right?” Lincoln asks as I take my seat.

“Better now.” I pick up my glass, taking a sip of wine, and he smiles while his mom sighs, obviously disappointed that her and Mom’s game didn’t go as planned. Like my mom, she’ll get over it, and I have no doubt that, eventually, Lincoln will find the right woman, but that woman is not me.

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