Page 109 of Until Bax

“I know you do,” he says softly, and I drag in a breath to pull myself together. I don’t know what in the world I did to deserve this kind of love, the kind of love that wraps you up in safety, reassures you that everything is okay as long as you have each other, and reminds you of what is important. I doubt I’ll ever know. But I won’t take it for granted. Until my last breath, I’ll do my best to make sure I always appreciate what I was given because I know how rare it is.

* * *

Sittingin the waiting area of the local jail, I look up when Bax’s and my names are called.

“You don’t have to come with me,” I tell Bax quietly, and his hand that is wrapped around mine gets even tighter.

“You’re not going in there alone.” I don’t take the bite in his tone personally. He’s more anxious than I am about seeing Ferris for the first time since everything happened.

When Cobi called to tell me that he wanted to see Kourtney and me, I wasn’t sure what I would do. It took me a couple of days to decide to take him up on his offer, then a few more days to convince Bax and everyone else that I needed to do this. It was a hard sell, especially to Bax. Then again, he was the one left not knowing what happened to me for hours before he got a call from Cobi that I had been located and that the police were already on their way to me. Kourtney wanted no part in seeing him again after that night, and I wasn’t going to try to change her mind.

As we walk to the officer holding open a heavy metal door and step into a skinny hall with about six windows on one side of the room, my stomach twists, making me nauseous. The air feels stale, and with zero sunlight and only the dim bulbs overhead casting a sad glow around the concrete space, it’s difficult not to feel depressed. I can’t imagine having to spend time here.

“Go to window number four,” the officer says, and I slowly walk that way. Once I’m in front of the window, I take a seat on the short metal stool and wait with my eyes glued on the door on the opposite side of the glass. When it opens, Fizz, who looks better than he did the last time I saw him, steps into the room. The beard that covered his face is gone, and he no longer looks strung out. He does, however, look very thin, but I’m sure that will change with time. Turning to the guard who escorted him in, he waits as the guard removes his cuffs. Then the guard motions in our direction.

As he gets closer, my muscles bunch, and Bax behind me gets even closer, while his hands on my shoulders tighten. I don’t try to force a smile as he sits. I don’t owe him anything, not even my time, but I do want closure for myself, and that’s why I’m here.

Motioning for me to pick up the phone when he does, I lift it off the hook and press it to my ear.

“I’m sorry.” The words are quiet as his eyes lock on mine. I didn’t think I needed to hear him say he was sorry, but as my muscles loosen, I realize I did. “You were right, I needed help.” I nod, letting him know I heard him, and he swallows hard. Lifting his eyes to Bax briefly, he brings his gaze back to me. “I know it might not mean much, but thank you for saving me.”

Before I can reply to those whispered words, he drags his gaze off mine and hangs up the phone. After Fizz gets the guard’s attention and he nods, allowing Fizz to get up, he walks to the door where he is put in cuffs once more.

Hanging up the phone, I stand and turn to Bax, who curls me into his chest, then maneuvers us to the door that the officer holds open for us.

“You okay?” Bax asks when we exit the building, and I tip my head back toward the sun and drag in a breath of cold air.

“Yeah.” I meet his gaze as he drops his arm from my waist and wraps his hand around mine. “Honestly, I feel lighter than I did this morning.”

“Good.” He opens the door to his truck for me. Once I’m in my seat, I look down at him as he pulls my seat belt around me.

“Do you think he’s going to be okay?”

“Only time will tell, baby.” His eyes lock on mine as he wraps his hand around the side of my neck. “For whatever reason, he got a second chance, but it’s up to him what he does with it.”

“You’re right,” I whisper, and his face softens.

“You ready to go home?”

“Yes.” Leaning in, he touches his mouth to mine, then lets me go and slams the door.

A minute later, when he’s behind the steering wheel and driving us away from the jail, I look over at the brick building. I know I might be naive, but I do believe that everyone is mostly good and that we are all capable of change, so I hope Ferris is able to overcome whatever led him to that night weeks ago and finds the right path.

As for me, I won’t spend any more time thinking about him. Going forward, I’m going to focus on Bax and our families and all the good things I have in my life.

The most important things I have in my life.

Epilogue

BAX

“You know I still want to beat the shit out of you for dating my sister.”

“I’m not dating your sister. I’m married to her,” I mutter to Liam as I look across the room at my wife, who, just a few hours ago, tied herself to me in front of our friends and family.

I waited impatiently for over two years for her to marry me, even though she had my ring on her finger six months into our dating and had slept in my bed every night with her shit in my closet long before that. There was more than once over the past year and a half that I thought about taking her to Vegas and marrying her in some chapel on the Strip. The only thing that stopped me was that her mom and mine would have kicked my ass. As Amy and Scott’s only daughter, they wanted her to do it up big, and her dad wanted to walk her down the aisle. I couldn’t deprive him of that.

So I waited, and this evening, with the sun setting, I watched her walk down the aisle to me in a white strapless dress that clung to her curves with her hair up and a bouquet of white roses in her hands. I knew seeing her that the wait was worth it. I already knew she was the best thing to ever happen to me, but as she stood before me and slid a thick gold band onto my finger, I knew that earning her love would forever be my greatest accomplishment.

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