Page 37 of A Little Merry

That flood set up my whole entire life and sucked me under last night with Merry.

She’d invited me to dinner, along with everyone else. Everything in me wanted to avoid the night at all costs, but the part of me that had fallen for her, wanted to suck up my hurt and give her another chance. Ethan and Connor didn’t seem to have a problem, why should I?

I couldn’t quite answer that question. Why I didn’t sleep last night and still didn’t feel like eating this morning. Yet, I knew today would be decision day, a reckoning of sorts between my past and my future.

How I would handle this would determine how I would handle everything this fucking world threw at me.

“You coming to dinner or what?” Connor asked as I waited for my coffee inside his shop. He wasn’t working today, at least not behind the counter. His staff was back in full force, plus he’d hired three more people. Ever since Merry stepped in and cheered the place up with Christmas decorations, festive cookies, muffins and even cranberry pumpkin bread, there was never a lull in business.

I ran my hand through my hair. “I don’t know what I’m going to do. She lied to us.”

“You can choose to believe that, or you could say she simply omitted the fact that she’d asked for an annulment for a marriage that never should have been,” he said, as he took the seat at my small table.

“I don’t know, man. That still sounds like lying to me.”

“However you want to look at it is up to you. I get your reasoning, but she’s a fucking ray of sunshine that I’ve been lacking in my life. Ethan’s too. Plus, she’s willing to take on all three of us. Do you see any other woman who would do that?”

“So, you’re saying we should be grateful for her and ignore the elephant in the room?”

“Something like that. Not ignore it exactly, rather choose to accept it and accept her. None of us is a saint, bro,” he said, making a lot of sense. “We’ve all done shit we wish we hadn’t. And we’ve all done shit that we don’t like to admit to. Thing is, she had no reason to admit all her past garbage. We’d only known her for a few days. Sex is just sex. Who knew it would’ve turned into something deeper so quickly? Not me, that’s for damn sure. And Ethan? I didn’t think that dude would ever fall for someone. He’d built up a dark tower around himself with walls so thick, I believed he’d never fall in love, but he has, and it’s with Merry. So, what about you? You living in that same tower? And how long are you going to stay there? Another year?Five? Ten? Forever? It’s going to get lonely and cold. You ready for that?”

I hated when Connor came at me with reason and logic. He didn’t do it very often, only when he felt like one of us was drifting too far into ourselves. We’d been friends for so long, he could read both Ethan and me like we were open books.

“Lucas,” the new guy behind the counter said. I went over and grabbed my coffee.

“I just came in here for some coffee, not a lecture on my life’s choices.”

He slapped my shoulder, grinning. “Then consider yourself lucky that I was here, putting in some orders. See you tonight… or not… your call.”

Then he walked away, leaving me to chew on what he’d said…fucking bastard.

CHRISTMAS MUSIC DRIFTED in through the walls, along with laughter. Merry’s Christmas Eve party was in full swing while I sat in my apartment, in the dark, hungry, and cold, but dressed for the event.

I still couldn’t decide.

Part of me wanted to walk on over there more than I wanted to admit, while the kid in me, the kid who’d been abandoned more than once by his family, wouldn’t allow me to go.

There I sat, wishing things were different… wishing I were different… that I could know the right path to take that wouldn’t break my heart… again.

The doorbell rang.

I didn’t answer.

It rang again.

I still didn’t answer.

“I’m not leaving,” Noelle said from the other side.

“I’m sleeping,” I told her, lying.

“And I’m a fairy princess.”

“Go away.”

“I can’t. I’m fulfilling a wish.” She rang the bell again… and again… and again.

I got up, stomped over, and swung the damn door wide open. “What kind of wish?”

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