Page 28 of A Little Merry

This could get ugly… fast.

Merry 8

How we avoided a confrontation with all that testosterone in the room was beyond me, but it didn’t hurt that Billy Ray was a veteran. The guys all knew how difficult that could be, especially if that vet had seen too much death and destruction and was now in the throes of PTSD.

We sat around my table, drinking tea like civilized people, while Billy Ray tried his best to calm down, even tapping his face whenever he felt himself getting tense.

I’d found that when Billy Ray got like this, it usually meant he’d gone off his meds.

“Do us all a favor,” I whispered to Lucas when we were alone in my kitchen. “Go through Billy Ray’s duffel bag and see if you can find his meds. I guarantee he hasn’t taken them in a couple of days, even more. That’s why he’s like this. Usually, Billy Ray is non-confrontational, so this is very unusual behavior for him.”

He shook his head. “Absolutely not. That’s private. I’m not going through his stuff.”

“Lucas. This is an emergency, and it’s for his own good. Billy Ray has severe PTSD from the time he served in the Marines. He’s good at hiding it, but he’s much better at functioning when he’s on his meds. When he goes off, anything can happen, and he usually ends up in the hospital for a few days, sometimes for weeks. He really needs those drugs. Please. I know it’s an invasion of his privacy, but if those drugs are in his bag, it will save him from spending the night in a hospital or worse… in jail.”

Thankfully, Lucas finally agreed, and not only did he find the prescription bottle in Billy Ray’s duffel bag, but he also found a big, white envelope with my name on it. I hoped it was the paperwork for our annulment.

I took the meds and tossed the envelope on a kitchen counter for later.

“Hey Billy Ray, while you’re enjoying your tea, maybe you’d like to take this along with it?”

I held out my hand, palm open, offering him the pill. He usually took it if I offered it nicely, so I even smiled for him, hoping that would be enough.

I could see the hesitation on his face. The momentary bewilderment in how I got a hold of one of his pills lingered, but after a while, he complied.

“Probably a good idea,” he said without an argument, reaching for the familiar pill, then washing it down with more tea.

“Okay,” Lucas said, pulling out the chair next to Billy Ray. “Now, why don’t you tell us all about your favorite Christmas. I was nine when I got a new racing bike from my dad. Best gift ever. I loved motocross, so it was the perfect gift. What about you, Billy Ray?”

That was all Billy Ray needed, a little conversation about some happier times. It got him going with one childhood story after another, and the guys joined right in with their own memories. After a while, I joined in as well, and the night progressed without a hitch.

Once Billy Ray’s pill took hold, he was in much better spirits and easy to talk to. He was really a great guy before PTSD set in. Once those horrific memories took hold, he was impossible to be around. Something I didn’t realize until our wedding night, when he blew up, and we ended up at the hospital still wearing our wedding clothes.

Not a great memory. I still had a little PTSD from that night that I was dealing with. Being here, in this town, with these wonderful men who were also recovering from their own traumas had helped not only me, but I’d like to think I was helping them as well.

We were all in the same boat, but some of us, like Billy Ray, would take longer to heal. Unfortunately, my love for him was never strong enough to help him through.

Still, I knew that Connor, Ethan, and especially Lucas would understand. Lucas had his own tragic history. I knew that once Lucas knew Billy Ray had served in the military, he would do everything in his power to make Billy Ray feel welcomed. Lucas hadn’t told me about his brother dying in battle, but Noelle had, and because of that insider knowledge, I knew Lucas would go out of his way to make sure Billy Ray was well taken care of.

About three hours later, once Billy Ray had completely calmed down, and we’d eaten all the pizzas we’d ordered and drank most of the beer, Billy Ray finally succumbed to fatigue.

“Is it okay if I nap on your sofa, Merry?” he asked, getting up from the table. “I just need a couple of hours, and I’ll be on my way.”

I wasn’t sure that was a good idea.

“I think Merry might need a little privacy tonight, but I’ve got an extra bedroom in my place you can bunk down in for the night,” Connor offered.

“That’d be great. Thanks. Is your place far?” Billy Ray asked.

“Just up a flight of stairs,” Connor said and stood to escort him back to his apartment.

As soon as Billy Ray took a couple of steps, I could tell he’d had too much to drink and would need some assistance.

“Whoa, there, buddy,” Ethan said, holding him up.

“It’s been a long day,” Billy Ray mumbled.

“It sure has,” Connor told him, grabbing his duffel bag.

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