“You had your reasons,” he said. “It’s not for me to say they are wrong.”
He’d never be that person. No reason to be.
“They aren’t right either. They are just mine. In the few dates we’ve had, we’ve said a lot about our lives. I opened up more to you than I do most. I felt as if you did too.”
“I did,” he said. “Which is why I had to make sure you weren’t still assuming something that wasn’t true.”
“And I appreciate that. I could have avoided all of this if I just searched for your name. I’ve done it before with men.”
“Which is common. I’m surprised you didn’t.”
“I was trying to be open-minded. We met the old-fashioned way. It’s not like I thought you had a wife there with you. I haven’t seen any other cars coming or going to see if there was a woman. I assumed—which is wrong of me—what your career was. There didn’t seem to be any reason to do a check on simple facts right in front of my face.”
“Only they weren’t so simple,” he said.
“Nor right in front of my face,” she said. “I’m embarrassed over the way I behaved when you told me. You didn’t lie to me. My past experiences with men shouldn’t be used as a measuring stick for the future.”
“Yes, they should,” he said. “Come in. Stop standing there like you want to bolt and do a lap around the living room.”
He moved to the side and walked to the back of the house where the family room was where they’d spent most of their timegrowing up. He’d set his office up in Abe’s space on the first floor and was staying in his old room upstairs.
It felt odd to be in the double bed, but he wasn’t going to stay in Abe’s room either. That didn’t feel right.
“Thanks for saying that,” she said. “You’re right. We use what has happened to us in the past to avoid it in the future.”
“Which is why I told you what I had.”
“You had someone that only wanted half of you. Or not all of you. Can I ask what you meant by that?”
“Sit,” he said. “Do you need a beer? I don’t have wine.”
“A beer might go down well.”
He moved into the kitchen and got two of them out of the fridge, then poured them into glasses and came back to hand her one.
He’d been watching for her headlights to return home, which might have been twenty minutes ago. He was guessing she hadn’t done more than change her shoes. She’d said she wore boots to work, but now she had sneakers on her feet with a pair of loose fitting jeans and a navy sweater.
“My ex loved my career and what I did. She didn’t like my background and that what you’ve seen of me on our dates is who I am. It’s who I’ll always be. If I put a front on in my life, it’s my job, and even then it’s not a front. I’m just more professional. I dress the way I’m supposed to like anyone who might have to wear a uniform.”
“But she liked you in that suit looking powerful?” she asked.
He grinned over her comment. “You think I look powerful?”
She snorted. “You look better the way you are right now to me.”
He looked down at his green socks with purple stripes. His jeans were a few years old. He did have a button-down shirt on because he’d gotten off a call ten minutes ago and hadn’tbothered to change, rather came to look in the kitchen to see what there was to eat for dinner.
“Which is what I like to hear,” he said. “But what I’m wearing doesn’t change who I am.”
“No,” she said. “It doesn’t. Any more than what I wear and how I talk or act or what my job is. That’s the funny thing. Maybe it was a lot of shame I felt last night after you left. Exactly what you’re saying to me about your ex is what I went through with Philip.”
“You told me that,” he said. “I think I thought you’d understand.”
“I do. I should have. What I get paid for and how I dress or act for that isn’t a testimony to who I am outside of that setting. How I am with my family and friends and those I consider close to me. It’s a job that pays the bills. Though I don’t feel as if it’s just a job here.”
“I know what you’re saying,” he said. “And I agree. But you were adamant the other night about your feelings on it.”
“Again, wrong of me. And I can see that if you wanted to tell me more, you might not have thought it was the right place. I would have kept it in. I did with Philip when he got his ring back. I didn’t scream and yell and throw a drink in his face. But, boy, did I want to.”