Page 53 of Off Pitch

Fucking hell. How do I keep myself away from her?

I doubted that Harlow had any thoughts of me like I do of her, but her drunken confessions proved me completelywrong. Nothing can happen between us, though—this whole arrangement is fake. But that won’t stop me from taking hold of my cock under the running water and pumping myself into delirium.

And when her name slips past my lips as I release, I’m hoping like hell that she didn’t hear.

twenty-two

Harlow

Tuesday morning, I wokeup mortified. I rememberedeverythingI said to Knox the night before, regardless of how drunk I was. I told him he has a sexy ass and that I think of him in the shower. The ground could’ve swallowed me whole right then, and it would’ve been a welcome reprieve.

My only saving grace was that he didn’t acknowledge it the next day. He could have tormented me about it, how his friend’s little sister, his fake girlfriend, thinks of him when she gets herself off. He could have laughed in my face, and I would have understood. But he didn’t, thank God.

We’ve still seen each other every day, and I’ve had to pretend that I don’t feel awkward so we can continue to not acknowledge what I said. It’s been easy enough to avoid, though, when the Stars had a two-game home series they split with the LA Suns. Once Thursday’s game finished, we all jumped on the plane to head off to Pittsburgh to start a ten-game away trip. And since we slept on the plane, Knox and I didn’t need to acknowledge it then, either.

When I wake up Friday morning, I know I need to talk tosomebodyabout it. Ignoring it completely is driving me crazy, and since I don’t want to talk to him about it, I figure Lucia and Rory will be good, even if they tease me about it like I know they will.

Since Rory and I always share a room, Lucia comes to meet us. “Okay, what’s up with a nine a.m. meeting, ladies?” Lucia asks as Rory lets her into the room.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Luc,” Rory replies. “This is Lo’s doing.”

I smile sheepishly from my bed. “What’s going on, Lo?” Lucia asks, eyeing me curiously as she and Rory sit on Rory’s bed across from me.

“I, uh…” I start awkwardly before falling back on my bed, hands over my face. “I massively embarrassed myself, guys, and I don’t even know what Knox is thinking.”

“Oh, we gotta know what you did then,” Rory says. “Where’s the popcorn?”

“I hate you,” I say, but she just laughs. I take a deep breath before I blurt out, “I told him that he has a sexy ass!”

“You actually told him that?” Lucia pries.

“Yes,” I reply, sitting myself back up again. “After you drunkenly decided we needed to visit the guys Monday night, I slept in Knox’s guest bedroom, and I told him he has a sexy ass.”

Rory smirks. “I mean, you’re not wrong.”

“That’s not helpful, Ror.” I sigh. “But it gets worse.”

“You did more than tell him his ass is sexy?” Lucia prods, trying not to smile. She’s clearly amused.

“Sure fucking did,” I say as I try to compose myself. “I may have also told him that I think about his ass… when… I’m in the shower.” I wince when I say it aloud.

Lucia and Rory can’t contain themselves and double over in laughter, gasping for breath. “Lo, you did not tell him youmasturbate while thinking of him,” Lucia says as she wipes a tear from her eye.

“This isn’t funny!” I shout. “I’m fucking mortified.”

“So,” Rory says, “what I’m gathering is that you like touching yourself to the thought of Fort Knox.”

“Rory!” I shout. “Please seek therapy. You should not always be thinking about sex.”

She roars with laughter. “I don’t always think about sex, Lo. But it issofun to mess with you.”

I groan. “What the hell do I do?”

Lucia asks, “Well, are you going to keep being awkward around him if you don’t talk about it?”

“I think I’m going to be awkward no matter what,” I reply honestly. “How the hell can I be normal around him again?”

“Try not to think about it when you’re around him,” Rory says. “Eventually, you’ll stop thinking about it altogether, and you can forget it even happened.”

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