Page 83 of Off Pitch

Rory says in a serious tone, “Lo, it really does sound like you have feelings for him.”

“No,” I say, vigorously shaking my head from side to side. “I couldn’t possibly have feelings for him. I’m not living out a romance trope.” My voice lowers now, wavering slightly. “I can’t have feelings for him.”

“Sweetie,” Lucia says as she and Rory both lay their heads on my shoulders, “It’s okay if you do.”

“No, it isn’t,” I say, voice breaking. “This isn’t real, and I wasn’t supposed to actually start falling for him. Sex could make everything so much more complicated.”

“So don’t sleep with him again,” Rory states.

I just stare at her in disbelief. “If he wants me again, I’m sleeping with him again. I know I will because Iwantto. I’ll just have to learn how to keep things casual.”

“If that’s what you want, you know we’re here for you,” Lucia says, throwing her arms around my shoulders in a tight hug.

“Thanks, guys,” I say. “But I’m not going to let it get to me. I had a great nightandmorning. I mean, I can barely fucking walk. I’m going to remember that and not focus on anything else.”

“That’s my girl,” Rory says, joining Lucia’s hug.

“I love you guys. Thank you for your support.”

Things can only get more complicated from here. This is the first time I’ve acknowledged that Imightactually have feelings for Knox. But I have Lucia and Rory with me to help navigate everything. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

“How are you feeling now?” Rory asks, taking a sip of her iced coffee as she sits across from me on the floor in the hallway outside the clubhouse. She and Lucia really helped me feel better about everything. It was nice to get everything off my chest, but accepting that I could have feelings for Knox is hard. That’s something that would most likely end in me brokenhearted—not something I particularly want to go through.

“I’m doing better,” I admit, snagging the cup from Rory’s hand and taking a sip of it for myself. “I think I’m gonna be okay. I’m just going to have fun and try not to worry about anything else.”

“Good,” Rory replies with a reassuring smile. “We don’t need another Derek situation.”

“That would never happen with Knox.” I smile shyly. “He’s made it a point to lift me up. He’s never put me down, and I can’t see him ever doing that. He likes to tell me how wrong Derek was, especially about the freckles.”

Lucia, Rory, and Ella have done so much over the past year to help me believe the things Derek would say aren’t true. That he was just a small-dicked—Lucia’s words—asshole who gets off on making himself feel better than women. But it wasn’t until Knox that it all started to finally sink in.

It’s not like I needed a man to tell me to actually accept it. I think it’s more that he has no reason to say those things if he doesn’t mean them. Lucia, Rory, and Ella are my best friends—they’re supposed to say things to make me feel better. But Knox doesn’t have that obligation since this isn’t a real relationship. But he does it anyway, and I’m almost at the point where I’ve never felt better in my own skin.

“So you really did tell him everything about what happened, huh?” Rory says, snagging the coffee back from my hand.

“I did,” I tell her. “It kind of just felt right to share it with him. He shared everything with me as well, and I think that’s really brought us closer.”

Rory raises her eyebrow questioningly. “What did Knox have to share?”

I take a deep breath. “It’s not my story to tell. But I can say that he’s not so withdrawn from everyone and everything for no reason. He’s been through a lot.”

“Fair enough,” Rory relents. “I’d never want you to share something he doesn’t want to be told. But whatever it was,you’re definitely helping him get over it. Him being comfortable enough with you to say anything at all speaks volumes about what he thinks of you.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” I say, rubbing my neck. The clubhouse door opens then, and the team walks out and starts down the hallway while Knox, Cole, Lane, and Sage all make their way over to us.

Rory and I both stand up, and Rory reaches out to Lane. “Hey, Sagie! You ready to hang out with me again?” Sage smiles brightly and giggles as Rory starts to tickle her.

“Sometimes I can’t get her to leave my side,” Lane says to no one in particular. “And sometimes she can’t get to Rory fast enough.” He laughs and shakes his head as he leans down and kisses Sage on the top of her head.

“Hey, Lo,” Knox says, turning his attention to me. I can see the hint of a smirk when he sees that I’m wearing a fucking turtleneck because he knows exactly why I’m in this damn thing. “Ready to watch the game tonight?”

“Ready to see how many runs you give up tonight, Slick,” I reply with a mischievous tone. The urge to tease him is too strong.

“Such a fucking ball-buster, Harlow.” Knox laughs and rubs his jaw. “I know I can count on you to always knock me down a few pegs.”

Cole, who has been suspiciously quiet so far, chimes in now. “Lo, why the hell are you wearing that? It’s like eighty degrees right now.”

My eyes widen, and a worried look crosses Knox’s face. Our silence right now is deafening.

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