Page 57 of Off Pitch

Knox wantsme. And I know I want him. But we can’t do a goddamn thing about it. This is fake. He’s my brother’s friend, I’m his friend’s little sister. He’s Fort Knox, I’m an open book. We’re incompatible in so many ways.

Tell that to my body, though, since it didn’t get the memo. My entire body is on fire right now, and if Knox touches me, I might actually combust. It’s a bad idea, butfuck, do I not care about that right now.

“So,” he says, severing the tension and electricity between us. “How long were you with him?”

“Oh,” I say awkwardly. “Just over a year.”

“That’s a long time for someone to put you down that much. Must’ve been hard to get over.”

“I’m still getting over it,” I reply honestly. “I’m much better now than when I left him about a year ago. I struggle occasionally, especially with the freckles, but I’ve really improved.”

“They didn’t tell me the details, but the guys all talked about how you’re more like your old self again.”

“Yeah.” I sigh. “The year I was with him had me at my absolute lowest. It took a lot of encouragement from my friends and family to leave him since he had me believing nobody would ever want me if he didn’t. But I left, and I’ve gotten a little bit better each day since.”

Knox rubs his hand up and down my arm. “I can’t imagine knowing you without the spark in your eye.”

“Technically, you did. We just didn’t talk much then, so you wouldn’t have noticed.”

“A terrible mistake on my part,” he says shyly. “But I’m happy I know you now.”

“I’m happy you do, too.” We share genuine smiles as I note the sparkle in Knox’s beautiful green eyes. Butterflies erupt in my stomach, and I have no control over them. My breathing quickens as I try to grapple with my mind, telling myself it doesn’t mean anything because I couldn’t be developing feelings for the mysterious man in front of me right now. That just wasn’t possible.

Right?

“I, uh… promised you that I’d tell you more about me as well,” Knox says, breaking eye contact.

“Yeah,” I reply clumsily. “You did say that.”

“Well,” he says, gulping, “how much do you wanna know?”

“Just whatever you’re comfortable telling me.” I place a hand on his arm to reassure him. “I know it’s hard for you to trust someone, so I don’t want you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“That’s the weird thing about this arrangement, Lo.” He smiles at me. “It might be fake, but I trust you completely. That’s hard for me to do, yes, but there’s something about you that puts me completely at ease.”

I smile widely. “I’m really glad you can trust me then, Knox. I’d never do anything to break that trust.”

“I know you wouldn’t. That’s the only reason I’m considering telling you this.”

“Telling me what?” I ask curiously.

He sighs as he lays back on the bed. “About what happened that made me become who I am. The guy known as an asshole who won’t ever let anyone in.”

I lay down on the bed beside him, and we both turned to face each other. “You weren’t always like that?”

“No,” he admits. “I honestly used to be pretty optimistic. But one situation took all the optimism out of me, and I’ve kept most everyone at arm’s length since.”

I reach out my hand and lightly rub his arm. “Don’t say anything you don’t want to, but whatever you do say, I promise it’s safe with me.”

He softly smiles at me and says, “I know, Lo.I trust you.“ That admission is all I need to relaunch the butterflies, but I fight them harder this time. Knox deserves my undivided attention, so I don’t want to rummage through my own mind right now.

He takes a deep breath before starting. “Okay, the first thing I need is for you to promise you won’t judge me. I was a naive young adult at the time.”

I eye him curiously. “I’m not going to judge you, Knox. Whatever happened won’t change how I look at you.”

“Thank you, Harlow.” He lets out a deep breath. “This happened right after my junior year of college. Cole obviously plays baseball, so I’m sure you’re familiar with how the draft works, but I turned twenty-one the previous September. The draft was held in early June that year, and the Stars took me with the first overall pick.

“I know it will sound conceited, but I was one of the most sought-after prospects in that draft. I honestly had teams interested in drafting me when I was eighteen, but I opted to play a few years of college ball before heading to the majors. All that to say, my name was well-known already, and once I made my debut with the Stars, it was likely to only get bigger. Everyone would know who I was.

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