Page 115 of Off Pitch

“I don’t do pep. I do blunt. So, to put it bluntly: get your head out of your ass and figure out your damn problem. Postseason starts in two and a half months, and you need to keep up the image you’ve created this season.”

With that, Simon adjusts his perfectly tailored suit jacket. He walks down the hall, leaving me with the reminder that, at the end of it all, this is just a business transaction to him.

Harlow and I both have our hearts on the line, and it’s up to us to protect them.

forty-three

Knox

Well, I was right.

I fucking suck tonight.

I throw twenty-eight pitches in the first inning and give up two runs. The second inning isn’t faring much better since I’ve already thrown another twenty pitches. There are two outs right now, but there are runners on second and third.

Tonight might be better if I could see Harlow… but she’s not here. This is the first game of the entire season that she’s missed. Seeing me on the mound and not just in the dugout must’ve been too much for her right now.

God, I fucked up.

I rear up for another pitch, throwing a fastball to the Phoenix Sandstorms’ right fielder. To my dismay, he hits the ball just out of Josh’s reach, flying right over his glove and bouncing into the outfield. Ayala nabs it and tosses it to Pena on second, who is then able to tag him out. But the damage was already done since both of the baserunners ran home, meaning the score now sits at four to zero.

The atmosphere is bleak when we get back into the dugout. I take a spot on the bench in the back and pull my baseball cap over my face. We’re losing this game, and it’s all because I can’t get my head in it.

I feel someone take the spot next to me on the bench. “You look like shit tonight, Fort.”

“Surprised you’re even talking to me, Cole.”

He takes a deep breath. “Harlow specifically told me not to let what happened affect anything. Spent the past several days reminding myself not to hate you.”

“Not sure I deserve that.”

Cole sighs. “She’s okay, Knox. She’s resilient. Stop worrying so much.” He lowers his tone now. “It’s okay if you didn’t have the same ideas about what was happening between you two.”

I stay silent, unsure if I can get myself to tell Cole that I do actually have feelings for his sister. It doesn’t seem like I need to, though.

“Knox…” Cole starts. “You do feel something for her, don’t you?”

I let out a breath. “Yeah… It’s just… complicated.”

“Define complicated.”

“We’ll talk after the game. This isn’t the place for it.”

Cole nods understandingly before Skip shouts, “Pierce, you’re on deck!”

“Gotta run.” Cole stands before turning around with a serious look. “You’re going to be okay, too, you know.”

As soon as Cole leaves the dugout, Josh makes his way back in after striking out.

And just like Cole, he comes to sit directly beside me.

“Man, you’re not looking too hot tonight.”

“Does everyone need to point that out?” I sigh. “I get it; I’m pitching like shit today.”

“Not trying to rag on you, man,” Josh says. “Just making an observation. You okay?”

All my frustrations come rushing to the surface, boiling over until I’m ready to spill it all. Fuck keeping this from Josh any longer. Maybe he can give me some outside insight.

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