Page 105 of Off Pitch

“Paul’s going to be pissed if you’re late, Slick,” she says with a playful smile. “You better get your ass going.”

“I know,” I sigh. “But I’m pretty damn comfortable right here.”

“And you’ll see me again after practice.”

“Fine,” I grumble, finally sitting up and stepping out of the bed. “Why don’t you stay here while I’m gone?” I say as I walk into my closet, coming out with a white tee and black shorts. “Practice ends at two today, so I can bring a late lunch back with me.”

“Okay.” Harlow smiles brightly. “I brought my laptop last night, so I’ll just work on the blog while you’re gone.”

“Perfect.” I slip into my boxers and clothing before coming to meet her again. I tilt her chin up and press my lips to hers, setting off a storm in my heart. “I’ll see you when I get back, Freckles.”

Since I know my weakness—Harlow—I turn around immediately and head toward the door. If I linger any longer, I’ll miss practice and make sure we don’t even leave my bed. I haveto move along so Skip doesn’t chew me out and I don’t let the team down.

Her gravity is just too damn strong, and it’s so hard to find it in myself to even want to escape.

Practice is brutal today. I can’t pitch a strike to save my damn life, and our pitching coach, Joe Pemberly, is on me the entire time.

He makes sure I stay late to practice more with Scholl so I can try to be ready for my next start in a few days. And that is just as bad.

My mind is so clouded with how I feel around Harlow that I can’t focus on anything else. That’s why I ask Lane to wait for me. If I don’t talk to someone soon, I’m going to lose my fucking mind.

When I find Lane in the clubhouse, he demands I shower before we talk because, according to him, I “smell like ass.”

Now towel-dried and back into the clothing I came in, I sit next to Lane on the sofa. “Thanks for staying, man,” I say. “I know Rory needs to stay longer with Sage because of this.”

“Rory, my daughter’s favorite person in the entire world?” Lane laughs. “I don’t think either of them are suffering right now.” His face turns more serious now. “What’s going on with you, Spence?”

I rest my head back against the sofa. “I’m so fucking confused.”

“About Harlow?”

“Yeah,” I sigh. “It feels like everything is changing, and it’s scaring the hell out of me.”

“Are you going to finally admit you’ve got feelings for her?”

I take a deep breath and let it out. “I know I do,” I say softly. “But that’s exactly the problem. None of that was supposed to happen. This isn’t real. None of it was supposed tobecomereal. I don’t know if I can handle that right now.”

Lane turns to face me, raising his brow. “Why is that a bad thing? You have a great time with Harlow, and I’ve never seen you happier than this. Why is this a problem?”

“Because…” I groan. I don’t want to open up and be honest with someone else, but I don’t think I have much of a choice. If I want to figure out what the hell to do about her, I’ve got to talk. “Because the last time I fell for somebody, it ended badly. I don’t want to go through anything like that again.”

“What happened that was so traumatic, Knox? You’re not overly emotional, so it must’ve been pretty bad if it’s still affecting you.”

So, I open up.

I tell Lane everything that happened with Emily. I tell him about being drafted, the videos, the lawyers, and Simon. I tell him I wouldn’t even have a career right now if it weren’t for Simon. And I tell him how everything that happened left me gutted.

“Fuck, man.” Lane rubs a hand over his face. “I don’t even know what to say to that.”

“There isn’t much to say. But it’s the kind of thing that stays with you. That makes you distrust people, even the ones you know you can trust.”

“Like Harlow.”

“Exactly like Harlow. I really trust her; I do. I told her about everything with Emily a couple of months ago, and she’s been nothing but supportive and understanding. I know she has a heart of gold.”

“So, I’m still not really seeing your problem with Lo. You’re happy; you trust her. That seems like a good thing.”

I sigh. “That’s all good, sure. But everything I’m feeling right now, everything I feel for Harlow… that’s how I felt for Emily. I trusted Emily, too, and she betrayed me in the worst fucking way. In my head, I know Harlow would never do that. But I can’t seem to get my heart on board.”

---