Page 117 of Kingdom of Shadows and Wings

“Take it whatever way you want.” He shrugs. “I couldn’t care less.”

Except he does. That truth is in his touch, the passion, the acceptance of me as his equal. So why the hells is he acting like this?

With jerky motions, I yank on my uniform and shove my feet into my boots. Anger dominates the moment, but the pain waits. My heart screams, and all those previous feelings of unworthiness come rushing back. I don’t want to be here when the inevitable breakdown comes, because fuck him. He doesn’t deserve my tears.

“Excuse me for believing for even a minute that, despite living my life in a gilded prison, even someone as naïve and inexperienced as me deserves to be part of a caring relationship.” Regardless of my effort to keep myself together, my voice cracks. A hot tear rolls down my cheek. “Apparently I was wrong.”

“Fuck, Lark.” He reaches for me. “Wait.”

I dodge him and dash out the door. With my blurred vision, I don’t notice Torno until she stops dead in my path. “Fledgling Axton? You shouldn’t be in the instructors’ quarters at this hour. What are you doing here?”

Shit. Of all the bad luck.

Dashing my eyes with the back of my hands, I rack my brain for a believable excuse while she inspects my appearance. My tousled hair and disheveled clothing stands in stark contrast to her military bun and casual uniform, both perfect even at this time of night.

“I’m sorry. I was just…”

I sniffle and, to my utter horror, begin crying in earnest. Seconds pass by. Her attention shifts from me to Thorne’s door, and I brace myself. Not a single part of me holds any doubt.

She knows.

That’s why the next words out of her mouth stun me. “Return to your dorm, Axton. It seems as if you’re having a rough night, so we’ll let this one slide. Don’t let this happen again.”

That’s it? No punishment for breaking the rules? Is this a gift to Thorne or to me? Or is this a matter of lucky timing? Perhaps Torno doesn’t want to bother with this while prepping for the trial. “Of…of course.”

As I hurry down the hallway, I chance peeking over my shoulder to see if Torno approaches Thorne’s door.

She doesn’t. The vice commander doesn’t even spare Thorne’s quarters a glance as she proceeds down the corridor.

Chapter Forty

“Run me through it one more time.”

Olive squeezes my hands as she sits facing me on my bed. Halfway through lunch, she dragged me back to our room and demanded that I tell her what happened. Apparently, my face wasn’t doing a stellar job of hiding my heartbreak. Who’d ever guess that spending two hours on sleep and an equal amount of time on crying would leave me less than fresh?

Stifling a groan, I re-summarize last night’s events with Thorne. By the end, I’m ready for a prolonged nap.

“Here’s my opinion, for what it’s worth. You told him you loved him, right?” I nod. “If I had to guess, it sounds like he’s feeling things for you that scared him, so he deliberately tried to push you away. Which is actually good news.”

I gape. “Okay, I’ll bite. In what realm is Thorne telling me I’m too naïve for a relationship with him, that it was only sex for him and nothing else, and literally trying to convince me to leave the kingdom good news?”

“The realm where he’s going out of his way to act an oozing pustule and hurt you. If he didn’t care, he’d shrug and be indifferent to whether you stay or go, but he wasn’t, was he?”

“Well, no, but remember this is Thorne. He maintains a base level of assholish-ness at all times.”

“True, but that doesn’t explain why he flip-flopped all of a sudden.” She taps her index finger against her chin. “You said all this started right after you told him about the king’s letter, right?”

My shoulders droop. “Right, but I can’t see how me turning down an exemption would factor in…unless he really does believe I can’t hack it here and should leave. He might never have suggested it before because he didn’t believe I’d get one.”

After what happened with her brother, I feel bad discussing this with Olive, but she acts unfazed. “Could he have been upset about the king coming to watch the trial?”

I rub the back of my neck. “I suppose, but I don’t know why. He and the king are supposedly tight, so why would that bother him?”

Olive toys with a loose thread on her collar. “Just considering all the possibilities. Either way, I bet you caught him off guard. I bet once the shock wears off, he’ll come around.”

Though not completely sold, her optimism bolsters my spirits, because I see her logic. His overboard reaction did come out of nowhere. That’s part of why it hurts so much. “Thanks, Olive.”

“That’s what friends are for.” She leans in for a quick hug. “Come on. It’s almost time for the assembly.”

---