Page 89 of Born of Ice

I kiss the mark I left on her shoulder, hoping one is forming on her heart.

Electra is silent after that, and I think she must’ve fell asleep when she says softly, “Is that why you didn’t fuck me tonight? Not because I’m a cripple?”

My eyes fly open as I sharply pull away from her and roll her on her back, staring into her eyes that hold too much vulnerability in them. Fuck, she really thought I didn’t want to fuck her with my dick? That it wouldn’t be the best night of my life if I could?

“Electra, little star.” I brush my fingers over her cheekbone gently, sweetly and then in equally calm and sweet voice I add, “Did it keep me away from you tonight? Is my hard as fuck cock not an indication of how badly I want you?”

“Then why not?” she breathes out.

Not one part of me feels like she is less. Not one part of me is repulsed or vary of her because of her disability, and even if she can never walk again, I’ll gladly carry her in my arms every day for the rest of our lives and then fuck her senseless every night because she’s mine. Walking or not, I claimed her. I fell in love with her.

I bring my face as close as I can to hers without touching her.

“When I finally have you on your back, spearing your tiny pussy in two as I watch my cock getting swallowed up by your pink lips, I want you to be begging for it. In clear mind and heart, not because you are drunk on pleasure. I don’t just want to fuck you, Electra. I want to own you. All of you, and when you are ready to surrender to me, then I’ll make love to you.” I pause for a second, lowering my voice and my fingers as they reach her hard nipple, pinching it and she swallows her moan. “And then I’ll fuck you. Hard. Because my girl will be able to take it. She willbe eager for my cock, eager to be my little whore and lover and everything in between.”

Maybe I was expecting her to say something, but she doesn’t, just licks her lips, breathing slowly and turns her head away.

And maybe my heart cracks a little at that but I plop back behind her, wrapping her in my arms again. The silence in the dark room stretches further and deep until I’m sure she’s asleep but all of a sudden, Electra jerks in my hold.

“The movie. We forgot about the movie.” I shake my head. Well, there’s a way to avoid a subject. But I’ll let her.

“Shhh, let’s just go to sleep. The movie can wait until tomorrow.”

“But I was looking forward to it tonight,” she pouts, and I chuckle, nuzzling my nose into her neck.

“I created a monster, haven’t I?”

“Yes, yes, you have..”

“See? I told you they were amazing. Now, who’s going to show you all the cool movies when I’m gone?” I say it as a joke even though a part of me beats against my chest at the idea of leaving here. Leaving her. But it’s inevitable and I’d love to say I don’t remember her words from back then, from that day on the lake when she admitted to being all too happy to make that happen sooner rather than later, but I do. And even though I’m joking, I’m also hurting because what I feel for her is so past the norm, I no longer know if I’ll be able to exist.

“I didn’t mean that.” Electra’s voice is barely a whisper, and I stiffen.

“Didn’t mean what?”

“What I said that day, talking about how I’ll be happy to help you pack your bags. I didn’t mean that. It’s just…” she trails off, squeezing my fingers with her tiny ones tighter as if she needs to be held through whatever she’s working out in her head and heart.

“It’s just what?” I prod, trying to tame the eagerness to hear her deny it. To admit that she feels something too and I’m not the only one who is losing his damn mind here. To have her patch the little ding she placed in my heart with that comment.

“Nothing.” She brushes it off, and I tell myself it’s okay. That I’m used to this. That I knew what I was getting myself into and that I did good by not fucking her when I feel a tiny drop fall to my arm underneath her head, to that tattoo of her lips, but before I can jump up and see what happened, she whispers, “It’s just…I’m scared of breaking again, Exton. And you,” she pauses as another drop falls to my arm, “you can break me beyond repair.”

I swipe my thumb underneath her breast, right over her thundering heart.

“You can’t break what you love the most in your life, Electra.”

24

We were going to set boundaries today

Electra

Did he just…did hereally mean what I think he meant?

He can’t love me. It’s impossible. It’s just this whole forced proximity setting getting to him, that’s all. But even as I try to rile myself up, board up the cracks he put in my ice, I can taste the lie on my tongue.

It doesn’t feel like it’s impossible. No, his love feels real and warm and all-consuming and terrifying.

Tonight was great. Well, no, it was mind blowing to say the least, but tomorrow I need to make sure we both understand there can’t be more than friendship here. And maybe some benefits, because I really enjoyed those, but nothing more. It’s simply not possible. He’s a famous hockey player and I’m a broken figure skater who will spend the rest of her days in this cabin. All by myself.

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