Page 80 of Born of Ice

Like a match to a can of gasoline those two words start a roaring, ice-cold fire. However, this time, before it has a chance of consuming me, Exton punches through the frost, pulling me out.

His hands are on my face, gently caressing it but his words are firm and uncompromising. “No! Trust me, Electra! Trust me, please. And even if you don’t, I won’t let you go under anymore.” His lips seal against mine, completely extinguishing the flicker of panic created by my memories and starting a whole new one. A much warmer one, and I feel my head nodding, giving him an answer before I can process it all.

I’m not sure whether I’m nodding that I do trust him or that I don’t, but I’ll go along anyway. And something tells me that it’s the former, even if I deny it but nevertheless, that’s all Exton needs before he slips his hands behind me again and snaps open my bra, throwing it to the floor.

His eyes fall to my chest briefly as his throat bobs and he sucks in a shuddering breath. He looks at me like I’m desirable and I’m shaking under his gaze, my nipples tightening into hard peaks just for him.

I don’t know what I expected to happen next, but it still takes me by surprise when Exton slips his arms under my body, lifting me in a bridal hold and steps into the bathtub with me, while both of us are still wearing the bottom pieces of our underwear.

It’s as if he can hear the thought inside my head because he says, “I needed those to stay on.” Exton’s voice is low and gruff.“On both of us because I’m barely hanging on as it is,” he adds, and my nipples decide it’s a good idea to tease him because the sharp points, graze against his hard chest by their own volition.

Exton growls, cutting me a sharp look that says he is clearly aware of that little fact, and I bite my lip, pulling my eyes away from his mesmerizing ones. They already have done more damage to me than I wanted.

Everything he’s been saying leads me to believe that he is attracted to me as a woman, but damn it, why is it so hard for me to believe?

We are just standing like that, his legs in the water, me tugged close to his chest as he watches me with unnerving curiosity. Like he can see my every thought, insecurity and desire molded into one.

“The water is quite hot, so brace yourself, it will feel good in a second,” he warns me, switching the subject, before lowering himself and me along with him into the steaming water, skittering around the sexual tension in the air.

Exton’s right, it’s pretty hot, but it also feels heavenly on my weary skin, seeping into my exhausted bones.

A small sigh escapes me when my body fully submerges in the water and Exton maneuvers me around, so I’m seated in between his legs, leaning my back against his rock-hard, art-of-work chest. The sweet-smelling bubbles, just barely covering the tips of my nipples, teasing the already sensitive buds. A little lower, around the small of my back, I feel the other rock-hard part of his body digging into me.

Before I have a chance to think about that, his big hands come up to my arms and shoulders, massaging my sore flesh, and I let out a moan and feel his cock twitch against my back. Immediately, his hands tighten on my body, but he clears his throat and asks in a rough voice. “That feel good?”

I nod, rasping, “Yeah.”

“Good. I’ll always give you what you want.”

There it is again, spoken softly but like a promise and an overwhelming feeling rolls over me and tears gather at the corners of my eyes. He did. He did this. He gave me what I wanted. Why? Why is he thawing my ice when we both know this won’t go anywhere, there won’t be a river flowing from this. Just a bloody mud bank.

“Exton, why are you doing this?” I echo the question from my mind.

He sighs in answer. That’s all. And I turn around sharply to look at his face, but instead of the usual cockiness it’s pained. His jaw clenched and nostrils flared.

“Because you ruined me.”

“I…wha—” I start, confused by his response and then slightly angry about it. I ruined him? “How, pray tell, did I ruin you?”

“You brought calm into my life. One I’ve never known.” I blink.

“That…Th-that’s not what I was expecting.”

“Yeah, me either.” And with that comment, he flips my body back to lean against him but now his hands are not on my shoulders, they are trailing over my stomach, my ribcage, the soft skin underneath my breasts while he presses his face into my hair, inhaling me.

“You ruined me with your calm, got me hooked on it…” He pauses. “And on you. You got me downright addicted to you and I don’t do addictions, Electra. I cut them out of my life as soon as something threatens me. But I can’t cut you out. Goddamnit, I can’t cut you out.”

His huge hands cup my heavy breasts, pressing tightly and just holding me like that, as my chest moves up and down fast, panting.

“I want you, Electra. Goddamnit, I want you like I’ve never wanted anyone before. I need you.”

He can’t. He can’t. Want me? How could he? Is it pity? Is that it? He feels bad for me so he’s willing to do all this? To say all this?

“Don’t lie to me, Exton! I don’t need your pity,” I spit out, unable to hide the hurt behind the words. “I’ve come to terms with what I am. I’m at peace with my disability; so please, don’t lie to me.”

There. I want him. I want him to want me. I want it with as much desperation as he’s describing but I know that won’t be enough. I won’t be enough for him, not when I’m half the person I used to be, and I can’t fall for his temporary lies.

“Don’t you see it? How can you not see, feel it?” Exton sounds like he’s in agony. Like what he is saying is the truest thing of all, like he keeps beating against my door and I refuse to open it and it cracks my ice some more. “When I called your name and you didn’t answer, my own heart stopped beating. When I didn’t find you in your room and I knew that you must be in the bathroom, doing God-knows what to yourself, I wanted to rip my own soul out and push into your body. You think it’s fucking pity?”

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