Page 55 of Born of Ice

“I never knew her, never felt her touch or heard her voice. I killed her and my father made sure I got the punishment I deserved, day in and day out.” His voice is gruff, thick with emotion.

Oh God…my crying stars anew or maybe it never stopped but these fresh tears are for him. For the boy who lived through something he didn’t deserve. Although Exton didn’t flat out confess to being abused, I can draw my own conclusions.

There are a thousand things I could say. And twice as many questions that I have for him, but I settle on one word.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I’ll hurt with you.”

And just like that his arms around me tighten, as I burrow my face deeper into his warm chest and I feel a drop slide over my temple.

One, two, three…they keep coming, those noiseless tears of his rolling onto me while mine cover his skin.

“Sorry to break it to you, little star, but you are not the reason your mom died. You’re not the responsible one here, Electra. It was vile, rotting cancer and her own choices but not you. So, stop being the martyr and carrying the weight of the world on your small shoulders. Stop taking responsibility for everyone else’s decisions, choices, and being the only one who is left to deal with the consequences of those.” My heart squeezes with his words.

Is that what I do? Is that true?

“It’s true. You know it’s true. Deep inside you feel it,” Exton whispers when I know I haven’t spoken out loud and I feel more tears slip. Both mine and his.

We are both aware that he’s not just talking about my mom, but he also senses that I don’t want to wade into other territories right now.

Exton just knows.

“You are the one who made her proud. You got there. You clawed your way to the top, validating her sacrifices by simply being. Simply living your dream. That’s all she wanted for you,” he whispers with conviction I never felt, and something breaks inside me.

“Shhh, she loves you. Loves you and as long as you live, a piece of her—her love—will live in you. But if you give up, if you stop fighting, that’s when you all this misplaced blame will come to be.”

“And you?” I ask in a shaky voice as his arms tighten around me and more tears roll down.

“It’s too late for me,” Exton says with finality.

But I don’t believe that.

I don’t know how much time passes, how long we cling to each other like we are each other’s lifelines, but eventually I feel the lull of the sleep take over me.

With no nightmares waiting for me on the other side.

17

It’s sunrise

Electra

“Electra,”I hear somewhere in the distance, the noise vague and quiet.

“Electra, wake up.”It gets louder but still out of my reach. “Electra! Wake. Up!” The sound is like a whip, and I jolt awake.

“Agh,” I yelp when I open my swollen, itchy eyes and find the very familiar whiskey ones staring right at me. As in Exton is so close, he’s hoovering over me with our noses a whisper away from each other.

Oh God, why is he so close? “Wh—” I start to ask but he shifts away, pulling me with him.

“Get up. Let’s go,” he says.

“Go? Go where?” I sound as confused as I feel. “Stop pulling on my hands,” I whine, trying to break free of him and go back to that amazing sleep I was having, but apparently Exton is not having it.

“Fine, I can drag you by the legs,” he says, and that gets my attention.

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