Page 122 of Born of Ice

His eyes light up with anger like I knew they would at my words.

“I’ve been living just fine,” he snaps and then sighs, pulling me into his lap. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say it like that.” Exton cradles my face, but I gently pull away.

“Are you going to practice tomorrow?”

His jaw works with my question, his breaths growing more forced. “No. I told you already, I can’t allow that ang—”

I cut him off. “Anger that you feel at your dad? The same one who wrote that letter? The one you are planning to burn to give you peace?” I lift my eyebrow in question. He knows I got him cornered and I keep pushing, not waiting for his attack. “Then you should be all good to go back to your team.” I stretch my lips into a taunting smile, and he knows it.

Exton is an asshole, but he is my asshole and I couldn’t care any less if he wants to be one or snap at me. I'll bite back so hard he won't be able to sit on his ass for weeks, but I won't let himsuffer. I won't see him fall through that ice, watching him drown all over again. He still has a few scars hidden deep inside, but I’ll be the one to hold his hand as he peels off the scabs.

33

Fate

Exton

“Why are you doingthis to me?”

Electra’s posture sags and she wraps her hands and legs over me, tucking herself into my body. “For the same reason you pushed me so hard, baby.” She lays a soft kiss on my chest. “Because I want you to be alive, not just live. I want to see you happy on that ice as you are the one defending your team. I want to see your eyes shine like that did today, because, Exton”—she takes my head in her hands, her fingers lacing into my beard as she leans her forehead against mine—“I’ve never seen you like that. And I fell in love with you even more. With that extra piece of you I haven’t seen before. And I want all of your pieces.

“That letter won’t change who you are. It won’t change the past, but it might—it just might—change your future. Our future.” She kisses my lips softly, breathing against them. “Hear him out.”

I tighten my arms around her, squeezing her body to mine so hard, we are one as our bodies rock from side to side on the spot. Our future. I want that. More than anything. The rain beatsagainst the windows. The log in the fireplace, cracking as my shaky hands reach for that piece of paper. Or rather, papers…

Electra shifts, wanting to give me space to read it by myself but I anchor her to myself. “No, together,” I whisper, my eyes closed and I feel her nod.

Son,

Hell, how I wish I could say that word, call you that as if I deserve it…

I know I have no right to write to you or ask you to hear me out. I lost it without ever experiencing the joy of being your dad.

But first of all, if by some lucky chance you read this letter, please know that I’m not writing it to make up excuses for myself. I’m not here to tell you I did what I did because I was a sick man, poisoned by grief and alcohol.

That’s on me. I made that choice, and I will go down with it. I’m just sorry I dragged you along with me because you didn’t make that choice.

I should have done this years ago. Taken the time to get to know you, but I didn’t, so this is all I have left.

There’s so much I’d love to tell to you about that I don’t know where to even start now.

I’d love to tell you about your mom because I never did, and I hate myself for that. I hate that you don't have any memories of her because of me. That's such a loss. She deserves to be remembered.

We met in elementary school when your grandparents moved to Boston from Croatia, and I was a goner from day one. Only I was a little shit in fourth grade, so obviously, instead of telling her that I liked her, I kept tugging on her braids and doing a bunch of stupid crap to get her attention.

As soon as she learned enough English, she came up to me and told me to stop because she was already going to marry me when we went to middle school.

She was a force like that, your mom.

Didn’t happen in middle school but we got married as soon as both of us turned seventeen. Shortly after that her parents passed away within a month of each other and then mine did two years later. So, that’s why you didn’t have any grandparents, son. In case you were wondering.

You look just like her with that dark brown slightly curly hair and those deep brown eyes. She always teased me that I’d have to wait for baby number two because she was passing her genes onto you. When I told her it doesn’t work like that she merely shrugged and said, “We’ll see.”

I should’ve known better by then to never argue with her. And I never did. She was the light of my world, my soulmate, my everything, and I lost it when she was lost.

It took us a while to start our family. Your mom’s career took a lot of her time but when she finally retired, we started trying that same day. (Sorry, if it’s too much information.)

I should’ve told you how happy and excited she was when we found out she was pregnant. How she searched through every damn book with baby names she could find in Boston for the one that would fit her son only to always throw them away with a frown, saying none are good enough. Because her boy is special. She could feel it from day one.

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