Page 59 of Vengeful Sins

Why is Dad doing this? I was so close to being happy, and now I am… where am I? I don’t have the first idea. I’m in a bed, I think. It’s firm but soft, and when I wiggle my fingers, I feel something like satin under them, cool and smooth.

“Right, but that’s not foolproof. She might need a second dose.”

“You want her awake for the ceremony, don’t you?” Dad asks. “I mean, I’m happy to have you as a son-in-law, Clark, but really. I think she should at least be awake.”

Clark? It must’ve been Clark who held me. Clark, who jammed that needle into my neck to pump me full of whatever is weighing me down now. Everything is so foggy, and even trying to think hurts too much. But I have to think. I can’t let myself fall asleep again.

“Are you with us?” Dad asks. “Wakey wakey. Don’t bother playing possum. I know your tricks.”

Oh, my god, that’s what this is about. The ceremony—he’s talking about a wedding, isn’t he? There I was, trying to convince myself it was over, that he couldn’t touch me now while I’m under Tucker’s protection. I tried to convince myself I was being paranoid, and where am I now?

I manage to pry my eyes open, not because he wants me to, but because I need to look at him. Both of them. I need them both to know I understand exactly what’s happening here, and how disgusting it is. Not that I think it will make a difference—even now, barely able to see much less think, I understand that much.

“There she is.” There’s something perverse and chilling about the sound of Dad’s voice. I don’t know how he can stand there, sounding tender and loving when we both know he is anything but. It’s a complete joke. He even smiles as he sits on the bed next to me, where I have no choice but to lie here and stare at him rather than moving away like instinct begs me to do. If only I could.

“Like I told you in the parking lot,” he murmurs, reaching out and stroking my hair, “it did not have to be this way. This is the choice you made. You could’ve gone along with it and not insisted on acting like a spoiled brat, but no. You were so sure you could get what you wanted. I did warn you.”

His shoulders rise and fall with a sigh. “I’ll never know the pleasure of walking you down the aisle in a real public ceremony. You took that from me. You took it from yourself. I hope you think it was worth it.”

Fuck him. Fuck this son of a bitch. My tongue moves over my lips to moisten them, but that’s about all I can handle. I’m still so groggy, weak, and even closing my fists takes every ounce of effort I can manage. Whatever they gave me, it was a lot, and I am completely at their mercy. These awful, disgusting men.

Clark comes into view, standing over Dad’s shoulder and wearing an almost happy smile that makes my stomach churn. This pig, this monster. Thinking he can have me just because he says so. Drugging me to have his way. And Dad expects me to marry him. It’s so horrifying. My brain doesn’t want to accept it, but I have to. I can’t pretend this isn’t happening. A single tear runs down my cheek and there’s nothing I can do to catch it before it soaks into my hair.

“See? Tears of happiness,” Dad announces, and my insides burn with panic and rage as they both laugh gently.

“You have nothing to worry about,” Clark tells me in a voice heavy with what could be sympathy, but really is just another reason for me to detest him. “I am going to make a good husband for you—so long as you make a good wife for me.” His eyes narrow, and his lips part to allow breath through. Breath that comes a little faster as his eyes take a slow tour of my body. I might be groggy from the drugs, but there isn’t a doubt in my mind what he’s thinking.

I’m going to throw up. I’m going to choke to death on my vomit. Would that really be a bad thing? That’s the worst part; the way it feels like choking to death would be a good way out of this.

“You have nothing to worry about,” Dad assures me, stroking hair away from my forehead again, chuckling when I flinch at histouch—I have a little more control over my body now, but not enough to get me out of this room. “She’s coming around a little more,” he announces. “We should get this over with in case she decides to be a spoilsport and ruin all our plans.”

Clark’s beaming smile makes me gag, but of course, he ignores my revulsion. “I bet when you woke up this morning, you didn’t know it was your wedding day,” he says, sounding gleeful, like there’s anything normal about any of this.

All I can do is hope Tucker figures out where I am, because otherwise, I’m not sure I can survive it.

27

TUCKER

It’s amazing how even the most basic, mundane things look better and brighter now that I know Maya will be waiting for me after class. I’ll take her home and I’ll hear her laughing with Mom in the kitchen, and everything will be all right in my world, at least for a little while. There won’t be any anger. There won’t be anything for me to do but live. For the first time in as long as I can remember, I can just live without the memories of my humiliation coming back to haunt me.

I don’t even like thinking about it now, but it is something I need to remember, no matter how I would rather forget. I’m still not completely sure Maya is into me because of me, myself, though every day we spend together brings us a little closer and makes me a little more hopeful. Hope. Since when do I hope?

Since when do I whistle to myself as I head out to the parking lot, for that matter? Since when do I do anything I’ve done lately? Eating lunch with her outside—the stupidest, simplest pleasure.

But the deeper pleasure is knowing how happy she is now. She might not want to accept it. She might be afraid to, which is something I can definitely understand. But every day that passeswhile she’s still safe and protected is a day she’s just a little happier. A little more secure. That’s all I want, for her to feel taken care of, to know she is not on her own anymore.

It seems like I’m slowly getting through a little at a time, but that only makes me want more. I’m greedy for her happiness, as fucked up as that is. I want to soak it up like a sponge. She is that important to me now. Mine to protect, mine to shelter. It’s almost like I finally figured out what I’m supposed to do with my life, and I’m not sure how to feel.

I sort of like the idea. The thing is, I think she does, too, even if she is afraid to admit it to herself yet.

“Hey! What’s the matter, the building catch fire?” I turn when I hear Briggs laughing behind me as he jogs to catch up. “What’s your hurry?” He laughs, as if he doesn’t have a clue.

I would probably resent the hell out of his laughter if I didn’t know he can understand how I feel. Now I know how Wren changed his life, because I’m going through the same thing with Maya. Shit, I used to think was so important not that long ago has ceased to matter. I can’t remember why it ever did.

“I don’t want to keep her waiting,” I explain, since class ran a few minutes late.

He falls in step beside me, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure she’ll be fine on her own for a minute. Jesus, thought I was protective.”

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