Page 76 of Meet Me in the Blue

“It’s okay, we can get takeout or—”

“Why are you lying to me?” I asked, and Luka’s face paled. I attempted to even my tone. “What else did Dale have to say? Was Zach right? Did he offer you a job or something?”

Resigned, he exhaled. “I don’t want it.”

“What’s the job?”

“Why does it matter?”

“What’s the job?” I asked again, and his eyes welled with tears.

“It doesn’t fucking matter.”

“It matters, Luka, because you matter. Your life matters, and I want to know what you’re throwing away because of me.”

“It’s not because of you. I already told you I—”

“Goddamnit, Luka.” I hadn’t meant to shout. I never yelled, it wasn’t like me to snap like that, and when Maribelle whined, I fisted my hands at my sides, frustrated with myself, and with Luka. My throat ached as I swallowed. I didn’t want to lose him again, but I couldn’t be the only reason for him to stay. What we had now, what roots he’d barely started to lay would end up rotting. “I’m sorry I raised my voice. I shouldn’t have, I—”

“Vancouver wants to offer me a temporary position as their team photographer,” he whispered, his voice as scratchy as mine. “I’d have to interview next week, but Dale said he thinks that’s just a formality. The job would start next month. It’s only a one-year contract, and I’d work alongside their PR team. It’s a great opportunity, but I don’t want it.”

I will always choose you, Rook.

He was choosing me. And I couldn’t let him.

My chest hurt as I reached out for his hand and tugged him into my chest. I kissed the top of his head, and when he looked up at me with watery blue eyes, my heart broke. “You have to go. You’re too talented. Imagine all the doors this could open for you.”

“I don’t want doors… We’re finally happy. I told you in Vancouver… I’m happy here.”

“But… what if… What if we could make it work?” I asked, and my mind started to sprint with ideas, with ways we could still be together. “We could try and—”

“What? Long distance for a year, maybe longer? That sucks, Rook. I’ll be traveling with a hockey team. When will I have time to visit? We just moved in together. We’ve started to build something, and I want this, I want us more than I want some shitty job offer.”

“You and I both know this isn’t a shitty job offer.”

“I don’t care. It’s not worth it,” he said, his fingers gripping the side of my t-shirt. “You’re worth more to me.”

I will always choose you, Rook.

Maybe it was time I chose him.

“I can be a midwife in Canada,” I said and as soon as the words flew from my mouth the knot in my stomach loosened a little. “I’d have to research how to transfer my license up there, but I could come with you.”

“What? You love it here. Your literal dream was to raise a family here, I can’t take that from you.”

“You’re right, I love Hemlock Harbor. But this is just a place, Luka… a place we can visit whenever we want. What I want more than anything… is to have a life withyou, raise a family with you. I can do that in Vancouver.”

And maybe it wasn’t the total truth. Leaving here would be hard. I did it for college and told myself I never would again. Homesickness has a way of changing you from the inside out, but love did, too, and I’d rather be homesick than heartbroken.

“You’re serious?” He stared at me, and the hope blooming in his eyes was enough of an answer for me.

“Yes… relationships are about compromise.”

“You realize our parents are going to hate this idea… And what about all your patients? Your practice? And I’ll be on the road all the time. You’ll be alone. The team is only offering me a year. Is it worth uprooting your entire life with the possibility of it being all for nothing. In Vancouver, you said you were worried about me resenting you… but what if—”

“Stop.” I chuckled and framed his face between my hands. “You’re spiraling.”

“I think this entire situation warrants at least a mini spiral.”

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