• ••
The lights of Vancouver twinkled against the water that surrounded the city and its snow-capped mountain backdrop. I could almost see the entire North Shore range from the floor-to-ceiling window of our hotel room. It was a strange juxtaposition to the sounds of sirens in the distance and all the cars buzzing through the grid system below us. One minute I felt claustrophobic, with the towering buildings cloaking the sky, and then the next, if I remembered to look up, look past the glass and steel, I’d get a glimmer of something that reminded me of home.
“Are you ready?” Luka whispered, draping an arm around my waist. “We should get going if we want to meet Reese at the rink.”
“Yeah…” I inhaled the citrus scent of the hotel shampoo as I turned my head and kissed his temple. “Are you sure we shouldn’t invite Zach to dinner?”
“Nah, he’s meeting up with some sportswriter guy he used to date. The official interview isn’t until tomorrow. After we shoot a few photos at the rink tonight, it’s just us.”
I hadn’t had a just us night with my brother in years. He was my family, and I shouldn’t be nervous to see him, but he didn’t know about me and Luka yet. I didn’t think he was homophobic. Reese had always been good to Luka and hadn’t batted an eyelash when he’d come out in high school, but I was his brother. Would that change things? Would he accept it? Accept us?
I exhaled and Luka stared at me, those knowing eyes my ever-present anchor. “It’s going to be okay,” he said. “Reese loves you.”
“I know. I shouldn’t be this anxious but—”
“Coming out is scary.” He grinned. “But I bet you my left kidney your mom already gave him a heads up. She sucks at secrets.”
I laughed and felt safer in my skin. “God, you’re probably right.”
“If she didn’t tell him, I’ll kiss you in front of him and then he’ll find out like everyone else did.”
I wish I could have stolen some of his confidence and made it my own. “And what if he’s disgusted?”
Luka took my clammy hand in his. “Let me ask you this… does it matter? If he doesn’t accept you as you are, will that change anything? Would you walk away from this? From who you are?”
“No. Of course not.”
“There’s your answer,” he said and pressed a chaste kiss to my lips. “I know it’s not that simple, but if he chooses to walk away from you, that’s on him. All you can do is trust in the people who love you, no matter what, to be there for you when it hurts the most. You have that. You have so many people who care about you. He’s your brother, but you don’t owe him anything.”
I cupped the back of his neck and brought our heads together. Nose to nose, his toothpaste-minty breath fanned across my lips. “Thank you.”
Luka closed the distance and kissed me, our mouths melding together in a way I’d started to crave. He ran his hand up my chest and I lowered mine to the small of his back. Our bodies came together, and he deepened the kiss, groaning as my tongue caressed his. I could forget the world, all my anxiety and worry, when we were like this, wound up in each other, my heartbeat crashing inside my ears.
“Feel less stressed now?” he asked as he reluctantly pulled away. “We could always text him and tell him we’ll meet him at the restaurant later?” Luka curled his finger through one of my belt loops. “Or we could cancel altogether and meet him for lunch with Zach tomorrow.”
“You need to get shots of Reese on the ice,” I reminded him, and he shrugged.
“Way to be responsible.”
“One of us has to be.” I kissed the tip of his nose and took a step back to admire him. He had on this cozy-looking green sweater that changed his eyes to the color of sea glass, and dark-fitted jeans that hugged his thighs. He was beautiful in this effortless way, and as easy as it would be to hide away in this room all night, he had a job to do. “Come on, you need these pictures.”
“Do I, though?”
“Yes.” I laughed and took his hand, dragging him toward the hotel room door.
“Wait…” He chuckled. “I need to grab my camera.”
With the rush-hour traffic, we arrived at the practice facility about ten minutes later than we should have. My anxiety had come back in full force by the time we made it inside and the smell of ice stung my nose. The team was hosting an open practice and had invited one of the local youth hockey teams to come and meet the players. The place was crowded with fans and parents trying to get pictures of their own. I followed behind Luka as he flashed his press pass to security and told them we were here for some promotional shots of the team. A serious-looking guy with more muscles than anyone needed kept his eyes fixed on us while he radioed to someone on his walkie-talkie.
After a minute he nodded and stepped to the side. “Down that way, last door on the right, you can check in there.”
“Thanks.” Luka looked at me over his shoulder and gave me a nervous smile. “This reminds me of high school…” he said as we made our way down the long concrete hallway. The scent of rubber and sweat had me reminiscing too. “When I used to do the sports photos for the yearbook.”
“Remember that time I made you come to my team’s open skate?”
“Oh God, and I humiliated myself,” he said, his tone comically annoyed. “How could I forget?”
“I felt terrible. I knew you couldn’t skate, but I thought you’d figure it out… and then, Jesus, Travis was such a dick back then.”