Page 53 of Meet Me in the Blue

With time, maybe the pain would fade to the background, but there would always be holidays and birthdays and some days simply having breakfast without him. I hadn’t said anything then, but I’d thought that the pain we all felt was here to stay.

Much to my chagrin, it didn’t take very long to get to Rook’s place even though he’d gone the long way around the park. He cut the engine and we both stared through the windshield. All of his windows were dark, except for the front where Maribelle stuck her nose through the curtains. Rook’s chuckle drew my attention and he smiled.

“She’s waiting for us.”

“I’m worried once we go inside, I won’t ever want to leave.”

“You don’t have to,” he said, his amber eyes suddenly serious.

“I have to go back and clean. My mom will kill me if I leave all that mess for—”

“That’s not what I meant,” he said and shook his head. “When you’re ready… you could stay here with me. If you wanted.”

“Live together?”

“If you’d rather use the guest room, that works too. It just makes sense having you here.” His certainty made me dizzy. “When you’re ready,” he reiterated.

He’d said it like it was this easy thing, like I’d thrown a penny in a well and said I wish, and the universe decided to grant me everything all at once.

“I want to say yes, but the practical part of my brain says maybe we should go on a few dates and, oh, I don’t know, tell our parents about us before we move in together.”

“Since when have you been the practical one?”

“Since now…” I said, and he pursed his lips like he did when he was overthinking something. “What are you brooding about over there?”

“This house… it’s mine and I like it… but it’s never been a home. It’s felt lonely for a long time, and maybe it’s too fast, and with all that has happened this past week, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. But I liked falling asleep next to you, having you here with me, and then spending those nights with you at your parents’ house. Coming home alone again, it didn’t feel right. The house was too quiet. I haven’t slept more than a few hours a night. Worried about today and you, and selfishly, worried I wouldn’t be able to fill this vacancy in my chest without you. I’ve missed you for too long, and maybe I’m scared you’ll leave again without your dad as an anchor. I don’t want to miss you anymore. I want you here,” he said, and a tear escaped the corner of my eye. It trickled down to my jaw and then he wiped it away, a soft, hopeful look in his eyes. “I don’t think there’s a timetable that fits us, there isn’t a list of things we need to check off. I don’t know a lot of things about relationships, but I know you, and I know I’m in love with my best friend. And I’m ready, Luka… if you are.”

ROOK

WE LAID OUR BIKESnear the dock by the lake’s edge and kicked off our sandals. Luka didn’t wait for me, running full steam ahead into the dark water. His scream scattered the nearby birds hiding in the trees and made me laugh. He sounded like his sister when she was yelling at him about one thing or the other. I probably should have warned him, but knowing Luka, he wouldn’t have listened to me anyway.

“It’s t-too c-cold,” Luka stammered, rubbing his arms. “No w-way am I g-going b-back in t-there.”

“It’s not that bad,” I said, and he plopped down onto the sun-warmed grass. I handed him a towel from my backpack. “It’s still early, the water always feels warmer at the end of summer break.”

“That sucks,” he pouted, wrapping himself into a Luka-sized burrito. “I wish we had a heated pool.”

“That would be awesome.”

“When I grow up, I want to be rich. I’ll have a pool and go on vacations all the time and live in California. What about you?” Luka stared at me, his eyes big and curious.

“I like it here.”

His face screwed up and his nose wrinkled. “You want to stay here forever?”

“What’s wrong with that? I want to be a doctor like my dad.”

“I’m not smart enough to be a doctor,” he said, and it made my stomach hurt.

I didn’t like it when he said stuff like that about himself. Luka had only moved in next door a year ago, but he was already my best friend. He always told me everything he was thinking even when the teachers had told him to stop being a chatterbox. He never complained about hanging out in the fort, and sometimes he slept out there with me. It was easier to fall asleep when he was there. It was weird to think he hadn’t always been around, and when he said mean things about himself, I wished he could see how much happier he’d made me by just being here.

“You are too,” I argued. “You always know all the answers in math.”

“Math is easy.”

“Not for everyone. My dad has to help me.”

“I can help you if you want, when school starts again.”

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