Page 52 of Meet Me in the Blue

He mussed my hair with his hand, and I groaned.

“Yes. Now go inside and tell your friend yourself you don’t want to go to the movies. You can’t hide your life away out here. You’ll freeze to death.”

“Luka…” A warm hand on the nape of my neck brought me racing back to the present. Rook’s lips brushed the shell of my ear as he folded his arms around my waist. I pressed my back into his chest and dragged the damp air and his woodsy scent into my lungs. “Are you hiding?”

“Not from you.”

“I thought you wanted a glass of water?”

“I needed this more.”

Rook kissed the slope of my neck. “I wish the fort wouldn’t collapse the minute we’d try to crawl in. Everything was easier when we were inside those four walls.”

We both stood silent and stared at the ruins of our youth. I never thought I’d be here like this with him. With his arms around me, his lips pressed against my skin, his nose buried in my neck.

“My dad knew… even back then,” I said low enough I wasn’t sure I meant to say it out loud.

“About?”

“He knew how I felt about you… It was forever ago. When you were with Ella. You’d invited me to go to the movies with you, and I didn’t want to go. He found me hiding out here. He knew…. He told melove takes time.” A wet laugh wracked through me. “And I told him he was cheesy.”

“Sounds like you.”

I elbowed him in the ribs, and he laughed.

“Ow.”

“You’re supposed to be the supportive boyfriend today, not a jerk.” Rook went quiet, and I realized what I’d said. “You know what I mean. I know we’re not ready for all of that, and I don’t expect—”

“Luka…” He placed his hands on my hips as I turned and faced him. He had a hint of a smile on his lips and shook his head. “What do you think this is?”

I chewed my bottom lip, too afraid and wary to say what I wanted. We hadn’t spent the night together since last Sunday, and we hadn’t done anything sexual since that first time beyond kissing. I realized that it wasn’t really the ideal week to start exploring a sexual relationship with your best friend of twenty-three years. My emotions were all over the place, and I wanted to make the right choices this time. I didn’t want to scare him away. “This is new for you.”

“Is it?” he asked and cradled my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I think we’ve known each other, loved each other, long enough that a word like boyfriend doesn’t scare me. This is us, Luka. But more.”

“Better?”

“Much,” he said, and I kissed him, the sun fading somewhere behind the trees.

I hid my hands inside his suit jacket, holding onto his waist, wrinkling his well-pressed shirt. He slipped his fingers into the back pocket of my pants and pulled me closer. His hot breath tickled my lips as he spoke. “Are you okay?”

“I’m making it through.”

“It’s weird in there,” he said, looking back and nodding toward my house. “Who the hell are all those people?”

A wild laugh broke past my lips, and my head tipped toward the sky. “Fuck if I know. I swear people from three counties over showed up for the stuffed mushrooms and cheese ball.”

“I don’t think they’re here for the food. Your dad was a well-respected doctor. He was loved.”

“He was,” I said and swallowed through the gathering sentiment lodging itself in my throat. “I don’t think I can go inside again. At least not yet.”

“Want to go for a drive?” he asked. “We could check on Maribelle, and then come right back.”

“Yes… please get me out of here.”

“Then let’s go.”

On the way over to Rook’s place, I shot my mom and Nora a text letting them know we were on our way to check on Maribelle, and that I promised to be back in time to clean up. Nora told me to take my time, Mom sent a one-word reply.Lucky.It gave me some peace knowing my mom, at least on the surface, had been handling everything well. She’d kept her humor all week even though there’d been times I was certain she’d wanted to throw something. She’d said to me this morning on the way to the church, “It’s hard preparing for death. I don’t think anyone is ever really ready, but at least we had some sort of warning. I sometimes wish he would have died suddenly, like a heart attack or something, instead of suffering as long as he did. He’s not in pain anymore, and I have to remember that, even if my pain hasn’t yet passed.”

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