Page 45 of Meet Me in the Blue

“I know what I need right now.”

“Do you?” he asked.

“I don’t want to think about anything except us.” I kissed his chin, nuzzled the line of his jaw, drinking in his scent, smokey pine and earth, and I was home. “Please.”

“You’re hurting… I don’t want you to regret anything.”

“I’d never regret you,” I breathed. “Never.” A quiet concession flashed across his eyes as he released my wrist. “I need you, Rook. Just you.”

“I need you too.”

He brushed his knuckles across my right cheek and leaned down to kiss me. My fingers skimmed underneath the elastic of his sweats, my nails skimming the trail of hair that disappeared below his boxer briefs. Rook shuddered and rolled me onto my back, pinning my body between his powerful thighs. He straddled me, his hands splayed under my shirt and over my stomach. I counted five of his breaths, his chest rising and falling deeper and deeper with every second that passed. With him like this, in the dark, it was easy to believe there wasn’t a nightmare waiting for me outside. I sat up and helped him out of his t-shirt and stripped mine off as well. The air was dense, filled with a chilled electricity, and I struggled to catch my breath as Rook traced the lines of the tattoo along my arm and up to my shoulder and collarbone.

“This is our fort,” he whispered, his fingers pausing over the shaded blue sky. “Our tree.”

“It is.”

He cupped my cheek, his thumb swiping across my parted lips. I linked my arms around his waist, reveling in the feel of his skin, in every etched muscle of his back. Our mouths met with a needy crash of teeth and tongues. It was overwhelming. This was Rook. My best friend. And as far as I knew he’d never been with a guy before. Feeling like a selfish asshole, I broke the kiss, and he reached up, sweeping the back of his hand across my sternum. He turned his palm and rested it in the center of my chest. Rook was breathless, his amber eyes two pools of fire and wonder. And even though I’d always wanted him like this, and needed him now more than ever, I didn’t want him to do anything he wasn’t ready for. And he would, I realized, for me. He would do anything.

“I don’t want to rush you,” I said and touched my forehead to his shoulder. I turned my head and tasted the crook of his neck. His hand slid down to my stomach, his finger hooking through one of the belt loops of my jeans. “I wouldn’t want you to do something out of guilt or pity.”

“This has nothing to do with guilt or pity, Luka.” I held onto him tighter, keeping myself moored. “We could go to sleep right now, if that’s what you wanted, and I’d be content, but…”

He swallowed and his throat moved against my lips. I could hide like this, buried in the curve of his neck, or I could face him. Face whatever he had to say, take whatever he had to offer. Being with Rook in any capacity was all I’d ever wanted. I lifted my head, and he pushed the ever-present strands of my hair out of my eyes.

“You need a haircut.” He gave me a wistful smile.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’ve never felt like this before,” he finally said. “I’ve always forced my way through attraction, but with you… I want this. I want to see where it goes. I want to be with you, but I…” He lowered his eyes and huffed out a quiet, embarrassed laugh. “I’m a little out of my depth.”

“Hey…” I lifted his chin, kissed the side of his mouth. “We can go at whatever pace you need. I just want to be close to you. I don’t need anything else.”

Rook grasped the back of my neck, drawing us together again, his kiss intense, like he’d been holding it in his whole life, his tongue at war with mine. He unlatched the button on my jeans, and I leaned back onto my elbows. “Can I touch you?” he asked, and I nodded, unable to speak.

I was too struck by the beauty of this man, my friend, and how I’d envisioned something like this probably about a billion times, and it was happening at last. That dark shadow looming in the corner of my thoughts was still there, all the things I’d refused to process tonight waiting for when I closed my eyes and let sleep have me. But as Rook blanketed my body, his skin soft and warm, the shadow faded enough I didn’t notice it anymore. Desire coiled deep in my belly, burning hotter as he kissed the top of my tattoo on the edge of my collarbone, the divot between my pecs, the ridges of my abs, and pulled my jeans and underwear to my knees. Rook’s breath stuttered as my cock sprung free, a nervous glint sparking in his eyes.

He rubbed the tops of my thighs, his breath uneven as he crawled down my body and lowered his lips to my hip. He lingered there for three, four, five seconds before he kissed the top of my pubic bone, my belly, then back to my hip. I skated a hand over the back of his head, the rough feel of his clipped hair a satisfying scratch under my palm. Trapping my bottom lip between my teeth, I couldn’t find my breath, couldn’t move, he was breaking me apart with tiny kisses and soft touches, exploring every millimeter of my skin with his mouth. He nestled his nose against the junction of my inner thigh, his fingers shaking where they’d settled on my waist. I was out of my skin, almost ready to beg when he pressed his cheek against my thigh, his hot breath washing over the base of my cock as he closed his eyes.

“Tell me what you like.”

“This,” I said, a little too enthusiastic. “I like this.”

He opened his eyes and lifted them to meet mine. “I’m not sure what I’m doing.”

I raised myself up onto an elbow and ran my fingers along the curve of his jaw. “Are you sure about that,” I said, and smiled as the brown color of his cheeks deepened. “You’re making me crazy.”

“I am?”

“I was about two seconds away from begging you not to stop.”

“I don’t want to stop.” He shifted, and my hands fell to my sides, my fingers curling into the sheets as his lips brushed the head of my cock. “I’ve never done this, but I want to. I have this need… to keep going, and I’ve never had that before.”

My back bowed off the mattress as his tongue licked along my shaft. “Fuck…” He licked the bead of moisture from the tip, a low sound rumbling in the back of his throat. “Rook… please.”

He took his time studying my body with careful touches, grazing his cheek up the length of my cock, turning his nose into my groin, inhaling as he gripped my base with strong fingers. A moan parted my lips as he stroked me, his thumb pressing into the sensitive spot below the crown with every pass. My body took over and I lifted my hips, fucking his fist as he watched with a scorching fascination. The blood in my veins thrashed, rebelled, racing faster and faster as he finally took me into his mouth, the wet heat too much, with every shallow, uncoordinated taste, with every pump of his fist, and I forced myself to slow down, to breathe through the intense pleasure. Rook’s cheeks hollowed, working me to the back of his throat, and I choked on a ragged groan when he gagged.

“Shit, are you okay?” I asked, and he came up for air. “I’m sorry… I… Shit, I’m sorry.”

---