Page 16 of Meet Me in the Blue

“I’m not. I told him… he knows how I feel.” I rested my hip against the side of the island. “I don’t hate him. It just hurts that he—”

“Ghosted everyone.”

“I need time and he knows that.”

“I bet you wanted to invite him tonight.” When I flinched, he laughed. “Oh my God, such a pushover.”

“Says the guy who dropped everything in San Luca and came running back to help Carter set up his new business.”

“Ouch.” He smiled at me. “Way to hit a guy where it hurts.”

“I’m not trying to be mean. I’m being honest. Why did you come back?” I asked, no derision in my tone. “Are you still—”

“In love with my best friend?” he whispered, his blue eyes fixed on something behind me, something I couldn’t see, something that was just his. “No… not anymore. I let that wound heal a long time ago. I needed… I was at a dead end in California. Working with Carter is a good opportunity.”

“It is.” It wasn’t the full truth, but I didn’t think it was right to use his pain as a distraction for my own. “Will and Travis should be here soon,” I said, changing the subject.

“Is that new guy Ryan coming again?” he asked, and I grinned.

“Why? Do you like him?”

“He’s straight. And divorced. That’s a whole lot of nope.” Chuckling, he said, “He’s hot, though.”

“Objectively, he’s attractive.”

“Objectively, because you’re straight?”

“Because he’s my friend. And back to the point… no, Ry’s not coming tonight. He’s in Oakville visiting his mom.”

He hummed and set his beer on the countertop. “I wonder about you sometimes.”

“You and me both.” I dropped my eyes and peeled the label off my beer into tiny little strips, wishing the pizza would show up and save me from this recurring conversation. “It’s not so black and white for me, you know that.”

“Do I? You’ve never dated a guy before, never showed interest in—”

“I haven’t dated very many women either.” I shrugged. “Why does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.” When I didn’t respond, I heard the stool scrape across the wood floor, felt the brush of a warm hand on my shoulder. “Rook. I didn’t mean to… fuck… I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m sorry, man. I shouldn’t stick my nose in your business. I just care about you.”

“Thank you… For caring about me. But I promise, my sexuality is as confusing for me as it is for you.” I raised my head and my old friend stared back at me, the worry in his eyes endearing. “I’m not straight.” The three words snapped the chains to the concrete blocks holding my feet to the ground. “I’ve never said that out loud before.”

“Not even to Luka?” he asked, squeezing my shoulder. “Shit… I feel special.” I shoved him in his chest, and he grinned. “I’m serious.”

“You didn’t sound serious.”

“I mean… Like I said, I’ve always wondered.” He plopped back down on to his stool. “Even back when my sister wanted to date you. I told her she was barking up the wrong tree, but then you dated that girl after Luka came out… shit, what was her name, Nikki? Nicole—”

“Nicolette.”

“Yes.” He pointed at me, his face wide open with a huge smile. “Nicolette. Shit… that feels like forever ago.”

“It was.”

“We’re old.”

A comfortable silence fell between us, and I finished off the last sip of my beer before I found the courage to speak again. “What if I’m meant to be alone?”

“I don’t think so, half your friends are single and gay… I mean, if neither one of us is hitched by the time we’re forty, I’ll marry you.”

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