Page 52 of Dear Mr. Brody

“My age didn’t bother you when you came all over your chest the other night. And I’m twenty-four, remember…”

“Parker,” I warned, my face on fire. “I didn’t know who you were.”

“I’m glad it’s you.” He rolled his bottom lip through his teeth, and I had to forcefully lift my gaze to his eyes. Which, if I were being honest with myself, wasn’t any better. They were too genuine. Too vulnerable. “I think maybe… maybe... I hoped for you all along.”

“Shit.” I exhaled a shaky breath, my chest too tight for how wild my heart needed to beat. “We can’t… I… I have to go.” I slid out of the booth, and Parker didn’t try to stop me, but something in his bottomless blue stare asked me, begged me to stay. I pulled my wallet from my back pocket and set a twenty on the table. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.”

We watched each other for a few agonizing seconds, everything that could’ve been rained down on me, pinning me to the wood floor. He was this beautiful thing, smart, and everything I’d imagined, everything I could ever want.

“Van, I—”

“Goodbye, Parker.”

Those two words shouldn’t have stung as much they did, but before I could fuck up any more than I already had, I turned and left him behind.

Parker

Goodbye, Parker.

Goodbye.

Good… bye…

Stunned, I gave myself one full minute to process the clusterfuck that was my life to make sure I wasn’t in some weird-as-hell, blue balls, sex dream. The noise in the room seemed to swallow me whole as I turned to watch Donovan Brody walk through the restaurant toward the front door.

You’re my student.

It was hard to concentrate, all the reasons I wanted to chase him were the same reasons he’d push me away. James and Van were one person. He was my professor. That alone should have been enough for me to want to heed his warning.

This can’t happen.

If anything happened between us, and if somehow the college found out, I assumed he could lose his job. We’d have to hide, and that’s not something I’d ever wanted to do again. At least that’s the standard I’d set for myself the day I was discharged from the Air Force. I’d spent too much time living in some twisted, fake reality, too afraid to be myself, to live my life.

You’re a writer, Parker.

You give me confidence I’ve never had before.

But this was different. I wasn’t stepping back into the dark closet I’d left behind. Keeping a relationship on the downlow for a few months was a hell of a lot better than what I’d put myself through for those four years. Maybe if he was some random guy, it wouldn’t be worth it. But something tugged inside my stomach as my pulse quickened, and I knew I couldn’t let him walk away.

Donovan disappeared through the door like the sun dipping below the horizon, and I had no idea when I’d be awake again to see it rise, to see him like I had through the anonymous conversations. When he’d shown me his truth. When there had been no wall built out of words likethis can’t happen. Andyou’re my student.There had been other words. Words that were ladders, words that jumbled up inside my chest and made me push out of the booth.

Your voice is genuine.

I want you. I want the real thing.

I didn’t take time to assess the situation, or worry about the consequences, as I made my way to the front door. Brushing past a couple of waiters, I didn’t even apologize. The evening air did little to cool my overheated skin once I was outside. At first, I didn’t immediately see him and thought I’d missed my chance, but as I looked to the right, I caught a glimpse of his gray shirt as he turned down the alley toward the back parking lot.

“Shit.”

I took off jogging after him. He’d opened his car door by the time I’d made it around the corner.

“Donovan,” I called out and he froze. “Wait a second.”

I slowed my pace, catching my breath as I approached him. Close enough, I could smell his cologne and something else, something earthy and sweet like lavender. The scent calmed me.

He closed the door but kept his eyes straight ahead.

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