Page 91 of Dear Mr. Brody

“No, she goes on dates with Matt.”

Matt was new.

Well, then.

I waited for some type of reaction. Some feeling of jealousy or regret. There was none.

“Hey.” Parker held my gaze. “All good?”

I nodded and he smiled at Anne, giving her his full attention. “Ready to go on the Ferris wheel?”

“Actually, we thought about going on the tilt-o-whirl,” I said and laughed when he grimaced.

“You two go ahead, I might skip it, though. Had those fries and—”

“Nope, you have to go.” Anne grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the rides.

“But who’s going to hold Tony? I don’t think he’d like the tilt-o-whirl very much.”

“Dad can hold him, and you can ride with me.”

Surprised, he looked over at me and mouthed the wordhelp. Chuckling, I followed behind, feeling lighter than I had in years. The weight of my impromptu coming out had been temporarily lifted, and I focused on being in the moment and enjoying my time with my daughter—my daughter who had accepted me without any conditions. It wasn’t until later, after I’d dropped off Anne at her mom’s, and met Parker back at my place, that the heavy feeling returned. All the adrenaline from earlier came crashing down, and all I could do was overthink. What if Anne got too attached? What if Lanie wasn’t okay with my sexuality? Would she stop me from seeing Anne? She wasn’t like that. At least, I didn’t think she was.

“Van,” Parker wrapped his arms around me from behind, pulling my back to his chest, and kissed the curve of my neck. “Tell me what’s going on inside your head.”

“Anne called you my boyfriend.”

Of all the things I could have said.

I turned in his arms and was met with his perfect, crooked grin. “Does that label make you uncomfortable?”

“No… but… does it make you uncomfortable?”

“Not at all. Maybe a few weeks ago I might’ve thought it was too soon for that.” He ran his fingers through my hair and my eyes shuttered closed, opening again as he said, “I think about you all the time. And when I’m not here with you, I want to be. Marcos makes fun of me for it incessantly, but I don’t give a fuck, because for the first time in my life I’ve actually found someone who makes me happy.”

I kissed him in the middle of my living room, nothing I could say would match the way I felt. Showing him seemed more appropriate. Like always, it started off slow and soft. His hand in my hair, mine on the back of his neck. Lips and breath turned into tongue and teeth. Light touch to rough fingers. Skin and nails. Once we were both panting, his blue eyes fiery, I found the words I wanted to say.

“I can’t stop thinking about you either. And every time you leave, I wish I would have asked you to stay.”

“Ask me.”

Breathe.

I counted to ten.

I wanted this.

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

“Van…”

“Stay… tonight. I want you to stay.”

The pad of his thumb drifted over the line of my jaw. “Then, I’ll stay.”

Parker

My boyfriend, I smiled at the word, stood in his bathroom doorway wearing nothing but the towel around his waist. His hair was wild and damp, sticking out every which way, a shy smile splitting his face. He watched me with his quiet eyes as I slipped out of my towel and tossed it into the hamper he had by his closet. The fine hairs on the back of my neck and shoulders prickled from the cold, but my chest was warm, heavy with the way he stared at me, like I might disappear at any moment, like he couldn’t believe I was here.

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