Page 49 of Dear Mr. Brody

Several seconds passed in silence, and the longer it dragged on, the harder it was for me to take a breath. Anne was completely enthralled, unaware of the drama unfolding behind her. After a full minute passed without a word from my big brother, I gave in and looked at him. Unable to read his impassive expression, I spoke first.

“Owen… I—”

“Does Olive know already?”

I scratched the nape of my neck. “She does.”

He took a deep breath, the tension between us as thick as the mid-day humidity.

“Mom and Dad?”

“I haven’t said anything to them yet.”

His gray eyes found mine. “Good… I wouldn’t. It would crush Mom.”

“Jesus, Owen… I didn’t think you’d care so much. Olive said Shane is gay. You’re okay with a gay roommate, but not a gay brother?”

“So, you’re gay, then?” he asked, and by the look on his face you’d think I’d told him I had three months to live.

“Would that be a problem for you?”

Owen ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “No… I guess not.”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing.”

“Van… I… I’m… Shane and—”

“I’m not gay,” I interrupted him, worried he’d say something I couldn’t forgive. Not wanting my private life on display, I kept my voice low as a family of five walked up to the exhibit. “I’m bi…”

He nodded and shoved his hand in the pocket of his shorts.

“You really think it would crush Mom?” I asked and the pain that flashed across my brother’s eyes cut straight into my chest as he shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he said. “But would you want to risk it? Disappointing her and Dad… it would hurt, Van… if they didn’t support you, it would hurt to know they weren’t the parents you thought they were.”

“Can we see the elephant?” Anne asked. “It’s right over there.”

She pointed toward the back of the zoo, and it pulled my attention away from my brother’s despondent stare.

“Yeah, let’s go,” I said, desperate for a reprieve from the conversation, and took her hand in mine.

Owen followed us, keeping a few steps behind. His reaction surprised and rattled me. I’d hoped he’d accept it, hoped my mom and dad would too. The confidence Olive had given me paled with every sideways glance my brother gave me throughout the rest of the afternoon. Torn between anger and confusion, I didn’t bring it up again until we were getting ready to leave. With Anne buckled into the back seat of my car, I shut her door.

“Thanks for today,” I said, and Owen gave me a half-hearted smile.

“It was fun… I miss spending time with her.”

He waved at Anne, and she pressed her lips against the window and puffed out her cheeks. Owen laughed, and the sound of it made a home in my chest.

“Are we okay? I can’t change who I am.” My voice broke and he hauled me into a hug.

“Fuck… I’m sorry…” He cleared his throat as he pulled away. “It took me by surprise. You and Lanie… I never thought—”

“It’s new for me, too,” I admitted. “Tomorrow night is a first for me.”

“Michael…”

“That’s his middle name.” I laughed and rubbed my forehead. “Shit, Owen, I don’t even know what the guy looks like. I met him on this app called Pegasus.”

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