Page 116 of Dear Mr. Brody

She giggled again, looking over her shoulder. “Who’s that lady?”

“That’s your dad’s boss at the college.” I kept my eyes straight ahead. “Did you want the beluga whale or the whale shark?”

“The beluga whale,” she said.

“Big, weird looking white whale for the win.”

“They’re cute,” she argued, and when I looked down at her, I grinned.

The tension in my shoulders remained, but once we got to the store, the more at ease I felt. Maybe the dean hadn’t seen me. And even if she had, I’d walked away. It wouldn’t have looked like we were together. I could have just as easily run into Van like she had.

“That’s a big stuffed animal,” I said, and cringed when I looked at the price tag. But Anne blinked up at me with those big gray eyes and I was helpless. “Think it will fit in the trunk?”

“I hope so.”

If not, I could always shove the fucker into my back seat.

One-hundred-and-twenty dollars later, Anne was the proud owner of Bobbie the beluga whale. We walked back out into the plaza and set the large toy on one of the benches. I was about to text Van, but he found us first.

“Hey,” he said, avoiding my eyes. “What do we have here?”

“It’s a beluga whale. Parker got it for me.”

“Oh?” He lifted his gaze, but he seemed off. “That was nice of him.”

I rubbed the top of my head, inundated with anxiety. I couldn’t stay. I couldn’t take the chance of her seeing us together. “I… wanted to get her something since I can’t stay.”

Van’s chest deflated as he nodded. “That’s right, I forgot you had—”

“I have to go over the lines with some of the cast at Pride House. The play is only a couple of weeks away. We still have a lot to nail down,” I said, hating the crestfallen look on Anne’s face.

Van was distracted, looking around the room.

“But you just got here,” she said. “What about the whales and the penguins?”

“I know, and I’m sorry I have to leave. I wanted to make sure you got your present,” I lied. “But I guess I should get going now.”

Van finally looked at me. “Okay.”

“Will I see you later?”

“Yeah… I’m taking Anne to Waffle Love for dinner, but you can come over for cake after. If you want.” He spoke, but his voice sounded miles away.

“Call me when you’re back at the house?”

“I will.”

“Happy birthday, little monster.” I reached down and hugged Anne. “Hope you can fit this thing in your car.”

Van gave me a small but real smile. “I’ll make it work.”

I stepped toward him unconsciously and he stepped back, taking Anne’s hand. It was stupid, he was only being careful, but I hadn’t expected it to hurt as much as it did.

“See you tonight,” I said, and reluctantly walked away.

I’d had the whole rest of the day to stew about the run-in with Dean Decker. To wonder what was said. If she knew. If Van was in trouble. If I was making a bigger deal out of all of this than I needed to. If she hadn’t audited the class, would she have even known I was one of his students? I mean, who checked that shit anyway? I wasn’t about to text Van and interrupt his time with Anne just so he could talk me down. My only saving grace was that Marcos had been at work the entire time. I didn’t have it in me to fake my way through the afternoon. But it was close to seven-thirty, and I knew he’d be home any minute. I stared at the ceiling, thinking over the past few months. I’d never thought I would fall in love with Van this soon. But I had. I’d told myself I didn’t mind if our relationship had to remain a secret for now, and it had been an easy thing to believe because when we were together, it never felt like hiding. Today was the first time I’d gotten a taste of what it would be like if we stayed together long term while we were both at Winchester. It fucking sucked. I hated walking away from him, hated having to leave because he could lose his job, lose an opportunity he’d wanted for so long. But I hated the idea of not being with him even more.

I rolled out of bed and grabbed my phone and wallet. I wasn’t going to let Van overthink this. It was reckless, and maybe a little selfish, but as I picked up my keys, I decided I didn’t care. I wanted to be there when Van got home. I wanted him to know I wasn’t going anywhere. Twenty minutes later, I pulled into his driveway, and when I saw his car, my confidence waned. He’d said he’d call me, and he hadn’t. I stared at his front door, my heart pounding out fast, erratic beats.

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