Page 81 of Possession

“I’m staying at a friend’s tonight. Give you guys some privacy, get settled in.” He clapped me on the shoulder and turned to leave.

“Liam,” I called and he paused. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me yet... you haven’t seen the place.” He chuckled as he left the room and shut the door.

Paige weaved her arm around my waist. “Our own place,” she spoke with reverence.

“I can’t believe he did that for us.”

“I can’t believe he doesn’t hate me.” She giggled at first, but it was one of those nervous giggles, the kind that eventually breaks into that stomach aching, uncontrollable laughter, and the sound of it, of her… happy, it broke the mood into something different, some brilliant shade of yellow, and it chased the voices from my head as I laughed, too.

The waiting room hadn’t changed much, maybe new paint over the years, but the tables were covered in the same types of women’s magazines, and the place was still just as packed. The old memory stayed in the recess of my mind as the excitement built in my chest. The couple sitting next to us was talking about baby names, and the older woman across the way smiled as she listened in on their conversation. My hand practically crushed Paige’s and she smiled at me when I brought my eyes to hers.

“You need to breathe,” she said and raised her right brow.

“What if the test was wrong?” I’d never wanted anything like this… and there was still some small part of me that didn’t think I deserved it… deserved her.

“We took three.” She bit her bottom lip to subdue her growing grin.

“I know, but—”

“Paige?” The nurse in pink scrubs called her name, and the heat in my chest set fire to the surrounding tissue.

I swore under my breath as she stood with a giggle. “You coming?” she asked and held out her hand.

As I stood, I took her hand in mine, and we walked in silence through the door. The nurse spoke to Paige only, asking her about her last menstrual period, and if she’d had a positive test at home. She penned Paige’s answers into the chart and then handed her a cup directing her to the bathroom.

“You can follow me.” The nurse held out her arm showing me the way, her pink scrubs were the only welcoming thing about her.

She brought me to a room with an exam table and a large machine with a monitor. She pulled out a paper square and unfolded it setting it on the table. “Have her take everything off from the waist down.” She pointed at the paper blanket reciting it as if she’d done this a million times already today. “She can use that to cover up. Dr. Carmichael will be in shortly to start the ultrasound.”

She left with a tight professional smile on her face, but not even a minute later Paige came into the room. She scanned my face and her smile pulled wide.

“You look terrified.” She laughed as she unbuttoned her jeans and slipped them off along with her underwear handing them to me. Any other time, I would have loved that she was half-naked in front of me, but right now, the excitement had turned to anxiety, and my stomach felt hollow. I rolled up her clothes and stuffed them next to me on the chair.

“I thought I was supposed to tell you to undress from the waist down?”

“The nurse caught me in the hallway,” she said as she lifted the cover up and sat on the exam table. She maneuvered the thin, fragile looking material over her legs.

“She was pleasant.” My tone fell flat.

“Are you okay?” Her smile dimmed a little as she observed me, looking for that piece of night.

I nodded and the muscle in my jaw pulsed. “I’m nervous.”

“Me too.”

“What if I screw this up?” I asked.

“You won’t.” She grinned. “We both know what it’s like to have horrible parents.”

“I have all this feeling… pent up in my chest, this love for a person I don’t even know, an idea… a chance… I want to give this child everything. And that’s impossible.”

“Give our child all that love, Declan. That feeling in your chest… it’s enough… it’s everything.” She smiled as I let what she said soak into my spine, and I relaxed.

The door opened, and a tall, blonde woman walked in wearing green scrubs. Her smile was genuine as it pulled into a dimple on her left cheek, “I’m Dr. Carmichael, and you must be Paige?”

She shook Paige’s hand and then mine. I introduced myself and she explained what was going to happen next. She was going to do an exam first and then the ultrasound. She offered me the opportunity to step out for the exam and I declined as I rose from the chair. I chose to stand next to Paige on her right and wound my hand with hers as she lay back onto the table. The exam was quick, but I assumed not painless for Paige, since she winced a few times. I hated that I was pretty much useless, but at least this time I was there for her.

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