Page 76 of Possession

“Can I—”

She stepped to the side and her hair fell from my fingers. She shook her head and gave me a shy smile. “Sorry, you’re probably freezing, too, come in.”

The warmth of her house embraced me as I walked over the threshold. The door clicked shut behind me as I moved farther into the small house. There was music coming from down the hall to my right.

“Is Lana home?” I asked, as Paige fell into place at my side and led me to her room.

“No, she’s at school, she’ll be back in a little while,” Paige spoke as she shut her bedroom door. The music played from the docking station on her dresser as I turned to face her. She looked up at me with giant eyes, and the color, a thick azure, speckled with bits of green and amber, set my pulse to a sprint. “I’ve been crazy, these past few weeks, the days, they’ve blended together, and the nights, I haven’t slept… Declan, I—”

“I’m sorry.” I held her face with my hands. “I didn’t want—”

“I know, you didn’t want me to see you in there, but—”

“No.” I grazed my thumbs gently under her eyes and wiped away the tears. “I didn’t want to hurt you, and yes… I didn’t want you to see me in there, and I knew if you saw what I was like, what they boiled me down to, you’d never look at me the same.”

She raised her hands to my shoulders. “Liam told me… he said… he said you were gone for a while?”

I nodded.

“He said… he’d never seen you that blank… like you were lost, but…” She exhaled a shaky breath. “He said that I was there... in your head and that you still drew my eyes?”

Shadows flickered through my thoughts. I dropped my hold, stepping away, her arms fell to her sides, and I laced her hand with mine. “I was in an eternal state of night. It was starless, void of light, and filled with hate and rage… and lies. All I could focus on was the bad. Once all the meds were out of my system, and I faded to the background of my own mind… you were the only fragment of myself I had to hold on to. The night I gave you the tattoo, that memory… it was rooted inside me. And once they started the new meds, it grew, and each branch, each piece of us... they became the steps I’d use to rise from the hole I’d fallen into.”

She let go of my hand, and draped her arms around my waist. Her cheek pressed to the center of my chest as she breathed deeply. “I missed you,” she whispered.

“I should’ve called you when I didn’t discharge like I was supposed to.” The guilt bared down on me.

She nodded and I pulled her as close as I could. My arms swallowed her small body. “You should’ve called.” She leaned back, but kept the heat of her hands at my waist. Her eyes were vibrant, no more tears to blur the pristine blue as they met mine. “But, I get it. I understand that you needed to go through this on your own, and that you were trying to protect me, but you know I’ve always loved your dark, even that pitch black night… because at some point it gives way to the light of day. It’s scary, and I will never fully understand what it’s like for you, but it’s beautiful, and it’s perfect… because it’s you.”

I shook my head in disbelief. “They took my pride, Paige. They stripped me down, they took away my reason, they stopped my meds, and they showed me what I was really like. I was nothing more than my illness.”

“That experience taught you whatcouldhappen, Declan. Theillness, the voices, the depression, it’s too much to contain all on your own. You’ll burst if you try to keep it from me. You have to take care of yourself, and I want to help you. Let me help you… let me want you, let me see it all.”

She raised up on her tiptoes and I tilted my head down enough that our lips almost touched as I spoke, “The past three weeks… it was a nightmare I didn’t think I could escape. I’ve never felt so empty.” She briefly brushed her lips against mine and it lit my spine and sent a shuddering heat through my limbs. “I didn’t know who I was anymore.” I lowered my nose to the crook in her neck and she leaned her head to the side as I inhaled. I raised my lips to her ear and whispered, “Show me I’m still human, that I’m still a man.”

Our mouths crashed together as my hands slid into her hair. The wet strands cooled the fever in my fingertips and slowed my over-eager lips. I’d spent the past three weeks in the circles of Hell, but all it took was one taste of her, and every miserable fucking minute dissipated into her soft gasp as I pressed my body against hers.

My name parted her lips as I pulled away. Paige blushed, and as I lifted her sweatshirt, she raised her arms for me. Her stare penetrated mine, and I began to breathe again. Deep, real breaths filled with the warmth of orange and gold. My heartbeat thundered as she unclasped her bra and let it fall to the floor. The teardrop shape of her breasts, the dusted pink of her nipples, I licked my lips and felt the color of life fill each beat of my heart. I laid her down on the stark white of her comforter and she moved herself to the middle of the bed, watching me as I pulled my sweater over my head. Her eyes scanned my chest as I kicked off my shoes, unbuttoned my jeans, and removed them along with my boxer-briefs.

I moved to the foot of the bed and crawled over her body, taking her breast into my mouth. My hands were braced on the mattress as I tasted her, letting the feeling surge through me. That death I’d suffered had almost been cured. My mouth created a path past her tattoo to the top of her pants, and as I peeled them down, my lips followed. I kissed her thighs and her calves as I slowly undressed her, leaving the rest of her clothes on the floor. Her scent revived me as my mouth moved along the length of her inner thigh. Her fingers knotted in my hair, and she gasped as I brought my mouth between her legs.

Paige tasted like the color of champagne, the shade of strawberries stained her chest and cheeks as she came in my mouth. Her legs trembled as I moved my body over hers and pushed inside her. She worshipped my name as our bodies collided, and the heat of her skin, the way she dug her nails into the flesh of my back, the way we fit together, the way her lips savored mine… I’d never last. Her cries were whispered along the bow of my bottom lip, as she moved in pace with my rhythm, letting me have the control, letting me be a man, letting me live… through her I had everything.

The muscles in my stomach coiled, my hand fisted in her hair and my tongue licked the seam of her lips, dipping into her mouth as I growled out my release. Paige wrapped her arms around my neck, letting her fingers run through my hairline, pulling me closer as she melted below me.

Out of breath and content, we stared at each other. The corner of her lips curled into a smile as I smoothed my thumbs over her cheeks. I watched the electric blue of her eyes dim as she fell back to Earth with me, and without any hesitation I said, “I want you to move in with me.”

His eyes were clear, open windows, no shade clouding his soul, no reluctance or anxiety, just pure and honest anticipation. The weight of his body shifted as the seconds ticked by. He rested onto his side and, with his finger, he moved a strand of my hair off my forehead.

“Are you sure?” I’d seen the answer already in his eyes, but the girl in me needed that reassurance. The wounded parts of me needed to hear it, needed to finally heal over for good.

His lips spread into a soft smile and he nodded. “If you’re worried about Liam… don’t be. He’s okay with it.”

My heartbeat fluttered as I rolled onto my side. We were eye to eye on the pillow as I said, “Move in?” It wasn’t really a question, the way it whispered across my tongue… I was playing with the notion.

Declan raised his hand and trailed his thumb along the ink on my ribcage. “Yes,” he said. “Move in. Your face, these eyes, your mouth, Paige, I need to see it all every day. In the morning, and before I close my eyes. I need it as much as I need to take my damn medications.” His smile curled and creased around his eyes. “You’re good for my mental health.”

A quiet laugh parted my lips. “When?”

---