Page 63 of Possession

Seeing his mom again, after all this time, I was nervous. Did she hate me like Liam did, or would she be happy that Declan was happy? Would she even recognize me? I inhaled and exhaled deeply, watching my ribcage expand and contract in the mirror.This is forever… he wanted me in his life, and his mother was part of it. I closed my eyes briefly, and when I opened them, I stared at the woman in the mirror. Her curves were minimal, but formed, and her bones less pronounced. Her face was full, and her lips were a natural shade of rose. The eyes that watched me, that scanned each nuance, were a vibrant shade of blue. I was finally starting to see myself again. I actually recognized the woman in the mirror, her reflection, it was the “me” that had been lost, and I’d found her again.

My phone vibrated against the top of my dresser startling me. I picked it up and my lips parted into an involuntary smile as Declan’s name flashed on the screen.

Declan:I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, Kieran is dropping me off and then heading back to the shop. Are you still okay to drive?

Me:I’m nervous.

Me:I don’t mind driving.

Declan:Don’t be nervous, my mom has always loved you.

He wouldn’t lie to me.

Me:Okay. I’ll see you soon, getting dressed, love you.

Declan:Love you, too.

I threw my phone onto my bed next to the clothes I’d laid out before my shower. I slipped on my underwear and bra, before pulling on my pants. I was filling out my jeans again, and I grinned as I wiggled in order to pull them up all the way. I borrowed an emerald green hoodie from Lana, the color complimented the blonde of my hair and made my skin look like cream. Declan liked my hair best when I let it air dry so I left it down. I scanned the top of my dresser for a hair tie, just in case I wanted it later, and couldn’t find one. I was pretty sure I had a stash of them in my bedside table. I opened the drawer and rummaged through it. I found one just as my fingers touched the cool metal of my wedding band. I gasped softly. I’d forgotten I’d thrown it in the drawer the day I moved in.

My hand trembled as I picked it up, placing it in the palm of my left hand. It had been made up simple, just a plain, gold band. Clark had said Christ didn’t need treasures or expensive jewels because he had the love of God, and if I truly atoned for my sins I would as well. I’d been so depressed, so far gone, I’d actually thought maybe he was right. I’d thought maybe Clark was a good man, and maybe, eventually, I’d be worthy of God’s forgiveness.

I dropped the band back into the side table drawer and slammed it shut. My eyes closed as I tried to push back the memory. I didn’t want or need Clark’s version of God. I’d found my peace again, I’d come clean and was moving on, but he still lingered. I’d gotten so wrapped up in Declan, I’d never called again about the papers. It was easy to pretend Clark didn’t exist when I was with Declan.

There was a light knock on my door and my eyes opened.

“Yes?”

“Hey, I’m leaving, will you be back later or are you staying with Declan?” Lana sounded muffled through the wood of the door.

“I’m not sure yet. I’ll let you know.” I raised my voice so she could hear me and to mask the shiver in my tone. That ring…I was still married. Clark was a reality I couldn’t hide from. Not anymore, and not if I wanted to really be finished with him and move forward with Declan.

“Alright, I’ll be back late, just send me a text.” She knocked on the door twice. “Have fun.”

“You too.”

There was no reply, so I assumed she’d left or hadn’t heard me. My heartbeat became rapid as I thought about what I had to do next, what I should’ve done weeks ago. I lifted my phone from the bed with clammy hands, and dialed his number.

It rang twice before he picked up. “Paige?” Clark’s deep voice vibrated through the phone. He was probably standing in our kitchen… his kitchen, still dressed in his work button down and tie, his dark hair perfectly parted, and his jaw tight with annoyance.

“When are you sending the papers?” I was surprised how even my tone was, it was almost cold… strong.

This is forever.

“Are you in a hurry to head to Hell?” The cruel smile I’d grown accustomed laced every syllable.

“I just want to be done with it.” Silence. “Don’t you?” I cringed. The question came out sounding like a plea.

“Maybe I’m not.”

I exhaled into the phone and I swore I heard him laugh.

“Stop, this isn’t a game, Clark. Let’s just be done.”

“Paige, you know how I—”

“I don’t have time for this,” I interrupted as I looked at my bedside alarm clock, “Declan—” I stopped mid-sentence realizing my mistake.

“Declan?” He almost growled the name and all the warmth in my body evaporated. “You went back to him… after all the work we did, to help you overcome your sin, you went straight back to the Devil.”

---