Page 82 of Possession

The doctor lowered the lights and my heart began to hammer.

“I’m guessing from the dates you provided, you’re most likely around seven to eight weeks along.” Dr. Carmichael smiled at us and I looked at Paige. “I’m hoping you’ll get to hear the heartbeat today.”

Paige had created a miracle.

“I love you,” I whispered as I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

The doctor began the ultrasound and Paige’s eyes locked on mine. The room filled with the static of white noise. I kept my eyes on her, the blank buzz squeezed the walls of my heart as I waited… for something… for anything. Paige’s lower lip was pinned between her teeth, her blue eyes colored in hope. A soft gallop echoed in the room. Its rhythm was disjointed, fast and irregular, but Paige and I both exhaled, and our lips spread across our faces into huge fucking grins.

Her smile was unending and it fed the beat of my heart, bleeding out the uncertainty. I’d never felt such a clean and clear happiness like this. That smile, it would forever be all I needed to steady my feet on the unleveled ground I walked on every day.

“Huh,” Dr. Carmichael murmured to herself.

“Does everything look okay?” Paige asked me and I turned my head to look at the screen.

“I can’t tell.”

“Can you hear it?” the doctor asked and I shook my head. “There are two heartbeats.”

“T-two?” Paige stuttered.

Two…

The air in the room was thin, and made me work for each breath.

“See?” She pointed to the screen. “There are two separate sacs. Each baby will have its own placenta. This is good. We’ll have to watch you more carefully, but don’t worry too much, this is actually more common than people think.”

Paige and I stared at the monitor. Two distinct hearts fluttered on the screen.

“Twins.” My voice cracked, and I brought my gaze to Paige’s. She gave me a watery smile, and maybe it was just a hallucination, but as I leaned down to kiss her I felt hands on my shoulders. Strong hands that held me in place, kept my weak knees from crumbling, and the warmth from them seeped into my bloodstream pulsing out all of my remaining shadows.

They are yours.

My lips brushed against hers as the doctor turned up the lights in the room. I held Paige’s face with my hands and the tears in hers eyes pooled onto her lashes.

They are meant for you.

“Say something.” My lips feathered against hers as I spoke and then pulled away.

The perfect curve of her mouth reached higher mirroring my own smile as she said, “We were always meant to have two.”

The light poured through the floor-to-ceiling windows inside our studio, and even though it had snowed earlier, the sun heated the room with its yellow glow. The sunlight illuminated Paige’s hair into strands of gold as she sat with our son, Royal, on one side of the huge piece of white canvas we’d rolled out earlier. The length of it took up almost a quarter of the room. Royal’s hands were covered in washable paint. His white blond hair was stained green, and as he squealed, his hands smacked the fabric, swirling the red and green and blue colors together in front of Paige. He sat between her legs, and Indigo sat between mine. My daughter’s palette was darker. Indie picked the gray and navy blue paint from the bucket, and instead of smearing her fingers in the blots of color I’d poured for her, she dipped her fingertips into the paint carefully. Using them almost like a brush as she made tiny little dots across the canvas. She giggled, sat back onto her diaper, and turned her head. Indigo’s round, pale blue eyes shimmered with flecks of amber as she gave me a toothy smile.

“I think she’s the artist.” Paige laughed as Royal started to paint himself instead of the cloth.

I chuckled. “He’s more abstract.”

Paige lifted Royal’s hand with hers and placed it palm side down in the paint. Indie stopped what she was doing and watched her mother with an intent face that shouldn’t belong to a one year old.

“Like this, baby.” Paige took Royal’s hand and pressed it gently onto the canvas, creating a perfect handprint. His lips spread into a smile and his light blue eyes widened.

Indie’s fingers felt fragile under mine as I showed her how to make her own handprint. I’d never get used to how soft their skin was, or how each breath they took gave me life. Royal looked just like me, and Indie was a carbon copy of Paige. Two people, two souls born on the same day, and yet so different. Royal was a whirlwind, always laughing and smiling, and Indigo… she was more reserved. She’d spoken her first word after Royal, but excelled in other milestones. Paige joked about how she was like me, stuck in her own world, and at times I could see myself in Indie’s eyes and instead of fear I felt pride.

My children, our children were gifted to us, and even though each day was different, at any moment shit could fall out from under me. My meds were still working, my head was as clear as it was going to get, and I had my family.

“Da-Da.” Royal rose to his feet, and wobbled as he caught his balance.

He walked on unsure legs, stepping in his paint and leaving footprints in his wake as he moved toward me. I held out my arms and he fell into me, smudging Indie’s paints, making her cry.

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