Page 52 of Possession

“So here’s my diagnosis. You’re married still, right? But, not really. You never were truly married to Clark. You’ve been…” She held up her hands and made air quotations with her fingers. “‘Married’ to Declan this whole time. You’ve both changed, and yet you’re both a little emotionally stunted from the past.” She looked at me with wide eyes, as if this all had suddenly dawned on her. “So.” She held the syllable longer than necessary and I smiled around my noodles. “I think you can just keep going. Go with what feels right. You guys separated, nine years is a long ass time, so you’ll have to start over on some things, but other things will be the same. You love him?”

I nodded.

“Then love him, Paige, and get that asshole ex of yours out of your life.”

I swallowed the giant ball of noodles. “You’re pretty smart.”

“I’m a professional student.”

“Not for long.”

She groaned. “Don’t remind me.” She stood from the couch and grabbed her wine glass from the table. “One glass? In celebration of the long lost lovers’ reunion?” Her nose crinkled as she smiled.

Why not.“One glass.”

“Yes!”

I giggled as she pranced into the kitchen.

Declan and Ihadchanged. I was learning to live and he was learning to trust. But, there was absolutely no reason we couldn’t do it together.

“Clark… he still hasn’t answered yet about the papers?” Lana handed me a glass of white wine and sat next to me on the couch.

Maybe there was still one reason I couldn’t fully commit.

“No, and my parents are radio silent. It makes me nervous, like the calm before the storm. I keep thinking they’ll just show up and demand that I stay married to him.” I sipped the wine and the sweet flavor surprised me. It was tangy and tasted almost like apples. “This is good.”

“See, I told you. Jesus didn’t turn water into wine for nothing.” Lana raised her eyebrows as she drank deeply from her glass.

“You’re going to Hell,” I joked.

“We can hold hands on the way down.” Her smile was lopsided. “But, in all seriousness. You’re twenty-eight years old, Paige, you never have to talk to your parents again if you feel like that’s the best option. Adult perks… sometimes they’re lovely.”

Everything she was saying was true. I was an adult. But, at times, I didn’t feel like one. I’d spent so much time trying to be something I wasn’t. I worshipped at an altar that told me I wasn’t good enough. I was married to a man who used me to make himself feel more important, and I had parents who treated me like I was still the teenage girl who had committed an unforgivable sin. Iwasemotionally stunted. I sipped at my wine and my limbs filled with gauze.

“I’m an adult,” I whispered.

“That’s what I just said.” She narrowed her brows.

“I think… I think it’s time I went home and talked to my parents. It’s time I tell them they can’t control me anymore.”

“I think that’s the best idea you’ve had since you moved in.” Her grin pulled up at the corners and she appeared almost proud.

“I’ll call them sometime this week, set up an appointment.” I nodded as a confirmation to myself. I wouldn’t let them scare me, guilt me any longer.

Lana’s eye brow lifted. “An appointment?”

“It’s the only way they ever really made time for me.” My parents had always been a little cold, but as they fell deeper into the status of the church, it had only gotten worse.

“Don’t get mad, but I never really loved your parents. They always seemed good at pretending.” She set her glass down on the coffee table and picked up her plate.

“They were.”

I was about to set my glass down and grab a few more bites of my Chinese food when my phone vibrated against the wood of the table. I picked it up with my free hand and saw I had a text from Declan. My breath caught and my stomach flipped. I stood abruptly and the wine in my glass sloshed.

“It’s Declan.”

She laughed. “I figured when you almost spilled the wine.” She shooed me with her hand. “I’m heading out soon anyway. Bellows has this amazing band playing tonight. You could come?”

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